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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To hire a private detective to check out my friend

3 replies

Stokefolk · 09/03/2024 17:36

For around 5 years DH and I have been friends with a man that DH met at work. He is a social man, single, but with plenty of good friends.

He is incredibly kind and our whole family really like him

However, he either lives a ridiculously fortunate life, or he is lying to us.

Examples include the fact that he is about to inherit millions, or that he has played major parts in famous shows, to near death experiences.

some of these he has told us himself, others people have told us about when we talk about knowing him.

a big issue seems to be that he told us that a close family member had died in order to avoid coming on a pre-paid holiday with us. At the time we were heartbroken for him. Now it transpires that this family member died some six months later.

I don’t want to call him out on this, because I saw first hand how upset he was, and maybe there was a rational reason - like two family members. Step or half relatives. And it would seem awful of me to provide proof of the more recent death and accuse him of lying if there was a genuine reason.

we have friends who are in the private detective industry. AIBU to ask them to do a little digging into some of his other claims?

actually, I know IABU. But … would you do the same?

OP posts:
sparepantsandtoothbrush · 09/03/2024 17:40

Does it really matter if he's living a fantasy life? It doesn't sound like it affects you. If it does then just cut contact

pinkyredrose · 09/03/2024 17:40

No i wouldn't. Are you thinking of hiring your friends or are you expecting them to give up days of their time for free?

Just accept he's full of shit and move on.

LutonBeds · 09/03/2024 17:42

Surely the ‘major parts in famous shows’ is easy to disprove? He’s either a famous actor or he isn’t.

I wouldn’t bother with a PI, either call him out on his bullshit or find another friend. There was someone like this used to drink in the same pub as a group of us. One by one people started turning on him as they realised he couldn’t possibly have done all that he’d said, unless he was about 3x older than his actual age.

Its sad as people were keen to make him welcome in the area but he obviously had some major insecurities and just had to brag and boast about total crap.

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