To think you don’t let your children behave like this in public?

[IfIHadAHeart]

Saturday afternoon, Tesco. It’s a bit manic, lots of last minute Mother’s Day shoppers plus the usual. People dragging kids round who are obviously completely bored, the parents look flustered and have my sympathy. It’s loud. No issues, I just decide to get in and out as quickly as possible.,

I get to the cereal aisle. There is what appears to be a mum, grandma and three girls under 5. The kids are building a fort out of boxes of weetabix, one of them is climbing up the shelving as if it were Everest. Lots of giggling. The weetabix castle has expanded out into the aisle, some boxes are being used as chairs. Mum and grandma completely ignoring them. Mum disappears round the corner, grandma says she needs juice. The girls start shrieking that they want to stay in their castle and so grandma says they can “as long as you don’t get in anyone’s way”.

Grandma then catches my eye. I have one of those faces that shows exactly what I was thinking, which in this instance was definitely disapproval! She asks if I have a problem, to which I reply that I’m just thankful I didn’t want to buy any weetabix. She gives me a mouthful of abuse, tells me the girls aren’t harming anyone and it’s none of my business. Off she trots to the juice aisle leaving the little darlings to carry on climbing and building.

AIBU to think this is a ridiculous way to carry on? My kids are teens now but I’d never dream of allowing them to behave like this. Not that it’s the kids fault obviously. Do people genuinely not care about other people around them?

Will somebody please think of the children!! - clutches at pearls

Complete wastes of skin

Scandinavian City Dwellers?! 🤣🤣🤣

The parent and grandparent I assume you mean?

Bit harsh. They behaved like selfish thoughtless twats that day certainly.

Some people think that supermarkets are some big family day out full of activities.

Agree. There was a lack of parenting before covid too. There was a lack of parenting 10 years ago. The rose-tinted glasses about what life was like before covid is getting a bit silly.

Yes, some people have always been arseholes, but I have seen a change not since covid specifically, but in hospitality definitely since bloody eat out to help out.

The attitude changed from glad to be back out and about and using the businesses that had been closed to you will be grateful to serve me and I will behave how I like and you'll put up with it because you need the business because the government told us so, and it's stayed.

I have gone back to hospitality but I left after being physically assaulted twice during eat out to help out, because we didn't have any tables left.

I don't think it's specifically covid, but I do think a different attitude settled during that time and it's stayed, which is a shame because at least in hospitality, there's a shortage of good staff at the moment and the good ones are the ones who can make the move to something else because they have transferrable skills, and many are because they're finding that the effect on their mental health at dealing with aggressive behaviour isn't worth it, especially considering the pay and conditions are usually not great to start with.

DS3 thinks a trip to Sainsbury’s is a great treat. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Obviously he doesn’t get to build weetabix forts in the middle of the cereal aisle. But he seems to enjoy browsing the fruit and veg a great deal.

Was once in a queue in a bank. Child in front of me was drawing on the face of a cardboard cutout of a person advertising some product. Thought mum hadn’t seen and almost involuntarily I said ‘Oh he’s drawing on it.’ Mum said aggressively ‘So what’? Not a lot of hope for children with parents like that is there? Rest of us have to suffer though.

I wouldn't ever be worked up enough over something like that to write on Mumsnet or give judgemental looks. Who cares seriously. Getting a mouthful of abuse is really unpleasant and I absolutely feel for you over that. I honestly wouldn't have even bat an eyelid and walked on by. Why seek out a fight over something so unimportant.

Was coming on to say yabu because I’ve had a few incidences of terrrible behaviour at sainsburys with my own lot, leading to proper meltdowns. I try not to judge.

however in this case Yanbu at all. Dreadful behavior from the adults.

I honestly don’t know why family groups go en masse to Sainsbury’s. You just leave an adult behind with the kids surely. I sometimes take one kid through necessity but give him a job doing the scanning.

Awful. And dangerous.

But what could the staff do?

The fact that you ‘wouldn’t ever be worked up enough over something like that’ doesn’t mean other people wouldn’t. It would not be important to you, but it is to the poster.

I don’t see the point in responses like yours.

YANBU
Honestly, the number of times I see kids' poor behaviour in public, especially in shops.
What I don't understand is;

• The child's behaviour is rarely called out or corrected
• When there are two or more adults with children, why couldn't one adult stay home with the children? It's not a fun day out.🙄

Supermarkets are not playgrounds and children get bored quickly.

Once she has paid go and sit in her trolley full of food and then declare how it doesn't harm anyone!

The staff can tell the family to stop, call security, ask them to pay for the goods they have damaged, ban them from the store if they are becoming abusive.

I don't understand why people are asking why people are saying tell a staff member? The staff represent the business owner and therefore are the interested authority in the shop over the customer. Another customer doesn't have the authority to tell them to leave, pick up after themselves etc, but shop staff do.

Of course it's not the staff's fault but they are the ones who can do something about it.

Does anyone else open threads like this with dread hoping its not about you?

My kids were little fuckers yesterday.

Yanbu at all! My dc has issues, and anytime we were out, it wasn't easy but i kept in check!

These people sound very rude, lazy and entitled. Of course you don't let your kids do this, it's a shop not soft play! Absolutely awful and disrespectful to let them do it to make life easier for themselves. They will be the same sort who give aggro to schools for not letting their DC do whatever they want.

Shameful.

I really think you should have to pass a test before you’re allowed to have kids. The grandmother and mother totally to blame but they will never see it.

Totally unbelievable, what disgusting behaviour. No wonder the worlds going to hell in a hand cart!
it unhygienic, rude and selfish thank I pity the poor person they next door to. Heaven help teachers trying to teach the little darlings.

Lol so this! A grandma aged under 40 with her daughter and grandkids really is the most extreme of profanity and defensive aggressive I have ever experienced!

The story... talking about her 40th birthday coming up so knew she was 39, daughter and 2 grandkids all together. Every other word was the f word in normal conversation. Then it escalated, daughter wanted an item but couldn't afford it so shouted at her Mum to put it on her credit card. Mum responded with angry expletives then went and bought the item, came back and shouted at daughter. Both had a slanging match, little kids present and one said will yous shut up you're doing me head in.

Meanwhile I was waiting with them for bus and turned around and said it's not easy is it when we have to say no to our kids but they learn they can't everything. I just had to say something and this was the most polite I could think of! Got a huge mouthful from both of them, almost to stage they wanted to attack me! Diffused by me staying calm and stating that's just what I do with my own, I tell them sorry not this time and don't give in!

Don't think I was wrong, I was furious at the bullying from daughter then Mum going to buy it. Guess their bond with public hatred of each other is far less than standing together at anyone making a comment!

I work in a big supermarket. This is mild, the worst are dads who think nobody has ever done any shopping with kids under 5..this is really worth a look. That said, I remember some days with my two , dealing with two toddlers and mil In a supermarket...I was just glad we all made it out alive. Just.

I find this entitled behaviour is endemic in more affluent areas. People love to think this is a lower class issue but in my 25 years of working in education all across socioeconomic areas, I’ve found that the more upwardly mobile to worse the behaviour. It’s the my precious darling is entitled to explore and sod anyone else attitude. Not raised to respect anyone or anything. No empathy either. It’s a real concern because it’s got way worse since Covid. I work currently across two settings one is very comfortable, affluent area, one more working class, higher immigrant population. The lack of respect in the affluent area is unbelievable, nothing is ever their children’s fault, they have no respect for staff or equipment. The other setting is a dream. Really hard working, generous, kind.