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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Don't think I am but happy to be told otherwise

28 replies

thritbies · 26/03/2008 12:15

AIBU in wanting DH to take the kids out for a couple of hours? ds is 5.5 and dd 2.5, I suggested he take them to see Horton hears a Who, but he said they "don't deserve it" and dd wouldn't sit through it. So I said do something else with them then. I very rarely have time completely alone- last time I can recall was when dd was a baby- admittedly this is my own doing, as I often decide to go with them when I could stay at home. However when he is off work I do quite often take them out of the house, so he gets loads more time to himself. Added to that, once they are in bed he sits down and watches tv, goes on internet or x box etc and just leaves whatever mess is around him.

Anyway, I planned to sort the ironing out (I know how to live)- plus I have a massive headache that is not shifting for love nor paracetamol. DH currently playing on xbox and I am currently considering cutting his nads off! It's his day off today, surely he could be arsed to do something?

OP posts:

Original poster

thritbies · 26/03/2008 12:17

Oh and hurrah for my first AIBU thread about dh! It nearly happened yesterday, he was a cock all day and did nothing to help, so all the more reason why he should take them out imo

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WriggleJiggle · 26/03/2008 12:22

You need to come to an agreement then. Split the day up between you. eg. dh is playing golf this aft, so has taken dd1 out for an hour to walk the dogs. Its not an exact (hours wise) swap, and I've still got dd2, but it means I get to chill and mn for a while so I'm happy with it.

These things always work better if planned ahead. Next time dh has a day off, a couple of days before get an agreement on when BOTH of you can have chill out time.

Seabright · 26/03/2008 12:23

Not unreasonable at all! Why don't they deserve it? Have they played up really badly?

Have you got a hamster? Let it "escape" and chew through the Xbox leads!

Original poster

thritbies · 26/03/2008 12:23

Yes I know you're right re planning. We were all going to the park but it's raining. I can feel myself getting wound up re the x box, yesterday I almost turned it off at the wall whilst he was playing.

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Original poster

thritbies · 26/03/2008 12:25

No seabright, they have just been a bit giddy, normal kids stuff. He just doesnt want to take them- he also cited the cost. Any excuse eh. No hamster unfortunately, dont think he would believe "the fish did it"

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cornsilk · 26/03/2008 12:27

2.5 might be too young for a film, but he could take them to the park, soft play area, swimming etc. YANBU.

Original poster

thritbies · 26/03/2008 12:30

Thanks cornsilk I agree! Am about to strangle him, we are "having a discussion" about it, he is now getting arsey about the fact that in his eyes I do not work- I may well be moved to violence in a minute....

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PortAndLemon · 26/03/2008 12:33

I don't think Horton Hears A Who would be a good plan for a 2.5 year old, but otherwise YANBU.

Kewcumber · 26/03/2008 12:34

you need to explain to him that you "work" the same hours as he does. So your job is from when he leaves the house until when he returns. The rest of the time you are joint parents and responsibilites should be split. Alternate one evening he sees to them, one evening yo udo next evening you do it together - same at weekends.

harpsichordcarrier · 26/03/2008 12:34

they don't deserve it
what kind of attitude is that?
imo you should just go out for the afternoon.
if he doesn't think it is work then let him have the "afternoon off" as a special treat then and do your "holiday" for a change
anyway. what about wanting to spend time with his children

Kewcumber · 26/03/2008 12:34

HIJACK how are you Lemon?

Original poster

thritbies · 26/03/2008 12:36

I knew I wasn't! Point taken about the film though. Just trying to think of an alternative he can't refuse. He's now saying "oh you've done nothing, i did the dishes and the hoovering whilst you lay in bed" well yes I was in bed, with the headache I still have grrrr

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ILikeToMoveItMoveIt · 26/03/2008 12:36

Hide the XBox controller, I find that concentrates their mind fecking things (mutter mutter mutter)

Kewcumber · 26/03/2008 12:36

harpsi - I had the same thought - since when do young children need to deserve having a good time?! (though I wouldn't take my DS 2.3 to a film either) What kind of relationship does he want to have with his chidlren growing up?

OverMyDeadBody · 26/03/2008 12:37

Why don't you just get your coat on and go out for a few hours? Find a nice coffee shop or pub with roaring fire and drink cappochinos and read a mag for a few hours.

Sod your DH. Leave him to it with the kids.

Just walk out and say "I'll be back in a bit".

Original poster

thritbies · 26/03/2008 12:38

Oops didnt see harpsi and Kew's messages. Yes I agree re the deserving it, it's mean to say that. He has it in his ehad that they are spoilt and expect too much- I disagree really. He should and usually does want to spend time with them. He is being a cock.

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PortAndLemon · 26/03/2008 12:39

Huge. Having very occasional contractions but no signs of anything interesting happening. Must find West London thread again but it's far less obvious since it moved off Meet-Ups and I get seduced by all those lovely AIBU threads...

Original poster

thritbies · 26/03/2008 12:40

Ha! He is taking them out now, obv was just bravado/being a cock. Please excuse my language on this thread, I 've had 2 days of him annoying me and also have PMT which may- may- be clouding my view

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Original poster

thritbies · 26/03/2008 12:42

OMDB- I would but I was too ill to wash my hair this am, and it is stuck to my head, also too poorly to go out. Anyway they are going and will have a lovely time. As will I sorting out the ironing See the nice things I get to do for myself with my time?!

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OverMyDeadBody · 26/03/2008 12:44

Well at least he's taking them out now!

Forget the ironing, go and lie down in a darkened room with soft music playing.

motherhurdicure · 26/03/2008 12:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Kewcumber · 26/03/2008 12:47

blimey DS 2.3 struggles to sit still through Peppa Pig!

FioFio · 26/03/2008 12:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster

thritbies · 26/03/2008 13:04

Phew they have gone. Just need some peace for a few hours, maybe my head will get better. Talking when calmer- hmm yes, though the problem is that neither of us thinks we are being unreasonable! Don't know if they are going to the film, but the point is he should sometimes be the one to try these things with them- if it is horrendous, lesson learned. He sould be the one that takes them to nice things once in a while. Have to tell you- when said to kids ok get your shoes on dad is taking you out, they both said "are you coming Mummy? why can't we all go?!" No wonder I dont stay home alone often!

Re the time thing- my mum took them to see lazytown live on saturday and they both sat through that! So we shall see.

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Original poster

thritbies · 26/03/2008 13:05

Oh and Fio re the nads, I am off to make a cup of tea and hide the xbox controller as someone suggested- he would probably prefer to lose the nads than that!

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