AIBU to hate the phrase “It’s your loss?”

[SoSoSoSo]

AIBU to think that it’s only your loss or you’re missing out when it actually involves something that you’re interested in or enjoy?

A friend keeps saying this because I won’t go camping with her because I detest it. I’m not missing out on anything because I wouldn’t enjoy it. An acquaintance said it recently because I’m single(by choice).

I regularly see it on MN too. Often in reference to an Aunt or Uncle who isn’t particularly interested in their niece or nephew. Someone will inevitably say that they’re missing out but they aren’t really if they have no interest in bonding with said child.

It’s petty I know but it really bugs me.

I agree.

It's like when the person you like ghosts you/doesn't like you back. People say "It's their loss" It's not though is it because they didn't want you in the first place💀

“Your loss” is the twin of “they’re just jealous”. Um, no. They’re probably not. Just accept they don’t like you/ your Dh/ your kids/ your car etc.

you’re not for everyone and that’s ok.

Absolutely this! Mind you the 'youse are just jealous is probably worse'

I get why people like different things why don't others?

I think this every time I see it! 😁

If I reject something I don't want, it's not my loss because I didn't want it in the first place 🤷🏻‍♀️

Trite, meaningless platitudes - one of the most irritating things about people.

Yes I get this. My kids dad doesn’t bother with them and people always say oh it’s his loss or he’s the one missing out, erm how if he doesn’t want to see them?!

Tbh, I think this is one of the rare occasions when it actually makes sense.

In the sense that he actually isn't aware of what he's missing out on. He doesn't know how amazing the people he created are. He can't think beyond 'kids are annoying/inconvenient/boring' or whatever other shit they tell themselves to justify it.

My son is 25 and has never met his father (fathers choice) and actually, that is his loss. It's the only time I've ever actually though it about anyone though.

One adult doesn't want a relationship with another adult? Nope, not their loss. They can see what the other person has to offer and they're not interested.

Doesn't bother getting to know his own children? Utter fool.

Hmm I’m not sure if you don’t want to be a parent you aren’t actually missing anything by not being there because you don’t want to be!

People that say stuff to me I don't like, I just avoid them and they get the message

If you can be bothered, maybe next time ask why it’s your loss. I wouldn’t go camping because I’d much rather be in a comfy bed with a private bathroom.

I disagree

sometimes it CAN apply in adult relationships especially whether men choose to date or form a relationship with high achieving women.

many men are intimidated by that and back off despite their attraction. It happened to me several times in my dating years.

and a couple are still on the edge of the same social circle.

Now things have rolled on 15 years when we bump into each other and clock that I’m a great mother and a high earner and I still look great they absolutely DO look a bit wistful and regretful.

when people say it they’re trying to convey that you are worthy and this one person’s lack of interest at this moment doesn’t say that you’re not.

the other person may have made a considered choice that’s right for them or a mistake they’ll later regret.

but it doesn’t really matter which

Your friend is rude. Reply back ‘It’s really not.’

i agree with other posters - it does mean “you are missing out but don’t realise you are” - or “you are wrong, but the only person negatively effected by your wrongness is you and so I’m not going to worry about it.”

its annoying to you OP in the camping situation because it’s your friend saying “you are wrong but I won’t try to convince you” and it’s clear your friend doesnt accept you won’t enjoy camping, she thinks you would, but doesn’t care enough to try to change your mind, it’s a double whammy insult - you’ve not won the argument and your friend has effectively said she doesn’t care enough to convince you.