To put my foot down over football club for a toddler?

[Mel2023]

The sports centre up the road from us run a football club for toddlers aged 18m-2.5yrs. It’s advertised everywhere and from the moment DS was born DH has been waiting for the day we could sign him up. DS is 22 months. I thought it would be nice for him and DH to have some time together doing this. He’s been on the waiting list for months and has recently been offered a place subject to a free trial to see if he likes it.

Then they sent over the costs, which weren’t made clear earlier when we were added to the waiting list: £70 upfront for kit (which has to be worn), £30 sign up fee plus the usual £30 a month we’ll have to pay going forwards. AIBU to think that’s a bit steep for a toddlers football club? £130 up front! He’s not even 2!

Money is so tight right now so I don’t think we should even consider it. DH and I have cut back on so much over the last year to help with the rising cost of living, our mortgage has just gone up £300, we’re even pulling DS out of the nursery we all love and putting him in a cheaper one (which isn’t as great) because we simply can’t afford to keep him there. So I don’t think we should then be spending £30 a month on a football club for a toddler. I don’t actually know where DH intends to find the £130 upfront costs either - I know it’s certainly not in our joint account, and we barely have any savings, so his only other option would be to add it to his credit card which we only use for essentials and emergencies (I wouldn’t class this as either).

DS isn’t bothered about kicking a ball around or “playing” football (believe me, DH has tried!). DH is really pushing for this and I do think it sounds lovely for them to do together, and in a few years if DS is into football and wants to go to a club, then I’d be more inclined to pay. I think this is DH trying to live out his dream of father and son going to football practice on a weekend and he’s not looking at the practical side of it. I tried to compromise and say let’s do the free trial and see how it goes and we can decide after. He won’t even consider that DS may go to the free trial and not like it/kick off/refuse to get involved (all of which could very well happen). We stopped going to toddler classes/groups as DS would not get involved or pay attention and just wanted to do his own thing and kicked off when encouraged to join in. Deep down I think DH knows I have a point - he’s the one who was taking him to toddler groups and made the decision to stop going. AIBU to stand my ground on this and just say no?

I only read your first paragraph. My DH is a football coach and there is zero point in kids going to football if they are under 5

Can you get the kit secondhand?

I bought my daughter a pony for her first birthday so football club seems great value 🤣

That seems ridiculous. My 9 year old plays for a local club. I think we pay £30 a quarter. Kit is free because its sponsored. The same club does a Saturday morning class for young kids which is how dc1 started out. The only kit they insist on is shin guards and it costs £2 per kid.

In your circumstances I'd be saying no and looking for alternatives when he's a bit older/shows an interest.

DS started something called Soccertots when he was 3, that was more fun things for smaller kids than actual football, but they would use the ball for things like knocking over skittles then counting how many they knocked over, rolling a dice then touching the ball that many times, doing obstacle courses, stuff like that.

It was all geared around the parent and child doing it together and we really enjoyed it, but it had zero bearing on his football ability. He's playing U10s now and one of the most talented kids on his team only started playing last year so I don't think kids miss out not starting early.

We did have fun, but it's like anything else that has to fit in a budget.

I know exactly which group you mean and I've told my partner no and he insists. I've insisted he pays so he is doing and I can't stop him

Ridiculous prices aren't they op

That's nuts!
Our local club does toddler football on sundays mornings.. £2 a session and no kit needed!
Toddlers are WAY to unpredictable for that sort of cost layout!

Have your husband take the child swimming instead, cheaper and actually useful

Utterly ridiculous your husband can play football with him at home / in the park until he’s a bit older . Do you have any friends with similar age kids that you could get the dads / kids together for mini footie .

That's utterly ridiculous.

I mean, signing up for a football class for 2 yr olds (or theoretically 18month olds in this case) is ridiculous anyway. The dc just aren't developmentally ready for it. That on it's own would be a ridiculous waste of money.

But the whole "wearing matching kit" and ££££ to be spent upfront just shows it up for what it is - a money making scam.

That's a racket, not a club. They're making crazy money out of tiny tots who will mostly bimble about being supervised by their parents anyway. I wouldn't touch it with a barge pole, I hate being ripped off.

Yeah even as a soccer obsessive that's a bit mental.
The kit is about 30 over priced and even then it shouldn't be mandatory until you know if they'll take to it.
And as someone said above, the age rage is nuts to be that didactic, my kid is football mad but she wasn't that way at 22 months.

He'd be better off spending a fiver taking him swimming every weekend

Pointless

Just have him run wild around the garden instead

Can't you use the money you're saving from quitting the toddler group and put it towards football?

Tbh if your DH is happy to get him ready for it and take him every week, then I'd agree to it, if you can afford it. Your DS might like the social aspect of it and your DH might like to meet fellow football mad Dads?

When he meets up with the other Dads, they may tell him when the club holds second hand kit sales too.

Going against the grain here, but if it's really important to your DH, I would try to find a way of making it work.

Football for toddlers sounds utterly pointless to me, and what you describe is very expensive. And probably your dc won't learn much. So I get where you're coming from. But your DH is an equal parent and his views matter too. And for whatever reason, this is important to him.

Obviously, if you really can't afford it, then that's just the way it is. I definitely wouldn't recommend getting into debt for it. But personally, before ruling it out on that basis, I would have a chat with DH about how he thinks you could afford it. Could he do some overtime to help pay for it? Sell some stuff? Ask family for an advance on any birthday gifts etc. You might both reach the conclusion that you just can't stretch to it, but at least that would be a decision that you've made together.

There are so many women on these boards who complain at how their partner leaves most of the parenting to them. The thing is, if we want our partners to behave like equal parents, we have to treat them like equal parents. And sometimes that means that we don't get to call all of the shots.

Is it Little Kickers? If so, get the kit on Vinted. It’s worth the monthly cost - until 2.5 they mostly play football games rather than actually play football, but it’s good fun for them. DS is 2 and has been going for 6 months or so and loves it. No idea what the next group is like but I imagine more of the same; with more difficult games.

if your DH wants to do it, I’d try and let him.

It's a lot to oull out when ur child may not like it. Believe me I've done it so many times; judo, gymnastics, basketball drama classes and on and on...
It's only at the age of 12 now that's she's stuck to 2 classes.
I've wasted a fortune over the years.

Thanks for all the responses! It’s good to know others agree and it’s ridiculously expensive - never had much to do with football before so wasn’t sure if those prices were the norm. I think if he was a bit older and showed a genuine interest I’d be more inclined to pay it.

The toddler groups he was going to, one was free at the library and the other £2 pay as you go. So we haven’t really saved much by stopping them to cover the cost of the football.

I looked into second hand kit after seeing the suggestions on here. Unfortunately, it comes with the children’s names on the back of the shirt and when signing DS up there isn’t the option to pay £70 less and say we already have kit (If I could find some second hand). We pay the full £130 to secure his place (and get the kit) or we can’t sign him up and he doesn’t go. It’s definitely a money making scheme!

I looked into the sessions more and it does seem good for his development and socialising with the activities they do. However, DS goes to nursery 5 days a week so gets a lot of that there anyway.

I really wanted DH and DS to do it together as I know it’s important to him and it’s some father/son quality time. We’ve agreed that they’ll do the free trial and see how DS does. But DH has also said now that he recognises it’s very expensive for what it is, and even he’s a bit worried DS will just not want to participate, so I think he’ll be more open to revisiting the idea later on down the line if the trial doesn’t go particularly well. We are going to look for other options that they can still do together that are cheaper.

It’s the kit that sounds ridiculous to me. At that age they will spill stuff down it and it won’t fit for long.

Ouch!

YNBU. Ours (similar age) goes to a toddler football session each week but the upfront cost was about half that and tbh we wouldn’t have bothered this young if it weren’t for the fact that he’s been OBSESSED with kicking/hitting balls since he started walking.

In your situation I probably wouldn’t bother. Free trial is a good idea and your DH will probably quite quickly realise it’s not worth the £££.

That's an outrageous sum for toddler football. Or any kids football

My DD's under 12 9 aside team costs £25 a month and that includes training kit and match kit.

Find another club. These people are ripping you off.

This!

This is marketing genius by whoever is organising it.

A completely pointless and needless set up as the kids are far too young but will appeal to the ego of a new father with his first little boy.

It is such a waste of money and ridiculously expensive for what it is.

I think you get him to explain how he will fund it and what he (not what you or your child) will sacrifice to cover the cost.

We had similar the joining fee and outfits but classes are £80 pm!?!?!

I told dh it was cute but beyond ridiculous. Our dd cant reliably follow instructions yet.

Our friends dh is also desperate to do baby football....So we decided in summer the husbands and dds will go for a kick around with some cones etc. while we have brunch.

Everyone seems happy with that.

Can he not just go for a kick around with his child every sunday at 10 without paying out the nose for a class????