This level of anger is not normal

[Surfandtruff]

My 4 year old is showing a lot of anger and aggression, violence but also breaking things. I am concerned this has gone beyond what is 'normal' but am unsure what the cause is and what might help. I am worried what is going on and what will happen if we don't nip this in the bud. People keep saying it's just a phase or boys being boys but it seems extreme

What has your doctor said?

I'm not sure this is a doctor type issue?

How often is it? And is the breaking things by throwing them? Before he turned 5 my son could be incredibly destructive and get really angry about the slightest thing. Then he turned 5 and started school and just calmed down a lot. He still needs a lot of outdoor physical activity but he's just a lot calmer in general.

In what situations is he displaying these behaviours?

what has he said when you talk to him about it? What feelings is he trying to deal with? What’s been happening for him?

Speak to your HV or doctor, and yes it can be a doctor issue so don't be afraid to ask m for help.

I think I read somewhere that 4 is about the age when testosterone surges in the system of little boys. I definitely noticed a change at that age with my eldest son.

I'm really not sure what anyone expects a Dr to do. You'd be better off reading some parenting books. This always gets good feedback

https://www.wob.com/en-ie/books/adele-faber/how-to-talk-so-kids-will-listen-and-listen-so-kids-will-talk/9781848123090/GOR005178227?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_content=Shopping&cq_src=google_ads&cq_cmp=20813942855&cq_con=&cq_med=pla&cq_plac=&cq_net=x&gad_source=1&gbraid=0AAAAABhDGOB0lmfvnIMCfiKOPzw1z7Bdc&gclid=CjwKCAiAi6uvBhADEiwAWiyRdhtwJNUTkmQQqdxYpsUuQZxnZkEwIGkt733YEph1RoF-x25pAAKRTRoCQKcQAvD_BwE

I was just going to say the testosterone surge is usually age 4

And again as a teen so 14/16

Run them like dogs is the general consensus

Lots of running about in the park

Also as a teen DS the reason they sleep a lot is because their bodies are physically growing so it takes it out of them

Especially as theyre busy all week at school etc so weekends just let them rest

When I've spoken to anyone IRL they've said it's a phase boys often go through. I am looking at increasing physical activity, and will put the breakables away for the time being. It's breaking things and lashing out physically as well, lots of kicking and punching.

What's he angry or frustrated about? What's his home life and relationships like (dispassionately, from the outside)? What's school like? What are the triggers for his behaviour?