To ask when you told dc you were pregnant?

[differentshadeofpink]

I am only 9 and a bit weeks but have had a private scan and all is well.
I was waiting until 12 weeks to properly announce but will be telling the other dc first.
Just wondering when most people tell immediate family.
We have told people the moment we found out in the past but then had a couple of losses in between so is it too early to tell (bursting to tell)

How old are they and if you tell them now are they likely to tell people you don't want to know yet? If they know about the previous losses then I would wait longer or you might be giving them a worry that it will happen again.

They are 5 and 7 and no they won't have understood the losses.

YABU

Why?

It is such a tricky one! Were your losses earlier than your pregnancy is now at 9 weeks?

I think I would wait tbh but i totally understand why you wouldn't too!!

I fell pregnant at the beginning of the year and my plan was to tell Dd (7) after the 20 week scan to make sure everything was absolutely fine before she knew.

Unfortunately I had a miscarriage last month, but very thankful she was none the wiser as it would have been horrendous coping with losing my pregnancy and having to tell Dd.

I would always wait as long as you can, and definitely after the 12 week tests (trisomy blood test) have come back.

I personally wouldn't tell anyone apart from my partner before the 12 week scan just encase there are issues which means you need to terminate or has already died.

The losses were 5 and 6 weeks the 6 week one was a missed mc which we found out at 12 weeks.
I paid for a private scan at 9 weeks this time to make sure it was viable and that it wasn't ectopic or anything.
I know the children will probably only tell a teacher who'll probably forget.
Yes it will be horrible and confusing for them if they get exited and we have to tell them it didn't survive.

I'm so sorry 🩷

Honestly, I think I would wait as it might just be too confusing for them and they are so little still.

Plus, you could always do a window to the womb type thing with them when baby is bigger which might be very exciting for them?

19 weeks. I would have waited longer too but my partner was eager to tell them.

I have had previous losses and was too scared to tell them any sooner.

My eldest was 8 when I got pregnant with DS2, I had had 3 losses since we started trying when he was 4 and I was so glad I hadn’t told him about any of those pregnancies.

We told him after the 12 week scan when I was actually almost 14 weeks. He was so happy he burst into tears and it will forever be one of my favourite memories.

I told mine around 8 weeks I think. I was showing then as was my third. They of course told the grandparents 🙄

I've had two losses most people don't know as I don't announce it. I'd say if it come up but not a common topic of conversation. I do feel quite strongly that a loss is nothing to be ashamed of. When I had my first miscarriage no one knew I was pregnant yet so I went through the emotion of that alone. So now tell those I would expect a bit of understanding from

I would tell immediate family (mum dad etc) immediately. As I would want their support if I did lose the baby anyway.
i would wait to tell dc a bit longer. At least past the first scan then you can show them the scan picture so they can understand.

I had a silent miscarriage and found out at my 12 week scan. I had to have surgery to remove her and it was during COVID so no one there with me. I'm so glad I didn't tell anyone I was expecting.
I then fell pregnant again 2 years later. My daughter (5) found out around 18weeks only because she noticed my bump and asked me. I couldn't lie to her but I was waiting until 20 week scan before I told her.

Congratulations!

We told DD1 I was pregnant with DD2 whilst out with our parents and siblings. I was about 13w. They all found out at the same time (except my parents who had to know earlier for logistical reasons). DD1, in spite of regularly asking for a sister, cried when we told her as she was too overwhelmed by it. She was 6 at the time.

We told DD1 and 2 about DS just after my 12w scan. My parents and PIL already knew but we wanted our girls to know next. We sat them down on the sofa and showed them a picture rather than the big reveal we’d done before and both were very excited about it. They were 9 and 3 at the time. He’s due any day now.

I couldn’t have told either of them before we were happy to tell everyone because they both have zero ability to keep a secret. 😂

No experience with having losses (I’m so sorry for what you’ve been through). We ended up telling my stepdaughter around 7-8 weeks, as I always used to do school run during the week and was too wiped out to be able to do it first trimester. Her mum had been very poorly a few years prior and the last thing we wanted was for her to think I was poorly and keeping it from her. She was 11 when we told her, so a bit older. I told my parents immediately and in-laws, but everyone else didn’t find out until our first NHS scan at 14 weeks. We didn’t find this took away any anxiety of losing baby (we had struggled to conceive for several years), as the night of the day we had the scan I was visiting my grandparents to tell them the happy news and had a massive bleed at their house and ended up in A&E. Ended up being ok in the end but after that we definitely lost the feeling of being ‘in the clear’

My DD was 6 and a half and I waited until after the 20 week scan. The thought of losing the baby was awful but the thought of causing my older one unnecessary hurt and grief was unbearable.
Plus, honestly, 9 months is a LIFETIME to kids. Telling her later meant she could get excited and although still a long wait, felt much more manageable for her than trying to sustain the excitement for months and months on end.