To think airports are so stressful lately?

[Kjones27]

Jesus , I used to like travelling. I just find the airport so stressful now, that I'm utterly exhausted by the time I get anywhere. I have british and irish paaaports. I fly on my irish passport which is supposedly slightly easier to fly to the eu is. In my experience, it is not. I still experience standing around in queues for ages.

I feel like they make it as stressful as possible for everyone.

I recently flew from Dublin to Spain.

I didn't have a bag to check in as that would have taken me even longer. So my first queue was the security queue. I was standing in the long security queue for about 30 mins. Put my carry-on bag through. It set off some alarm. Or maybe they were testing bags randomly. I had to wait for a guy to come over empty my bag , put everything back in. Then I went on.

I sat in the departure lounge for about an hour. Then I went to get on the flight. They let everyone go through the desk, then for some reason they made us all stand on the stairs before rhe flight for another 40 mins. Plane was slightly delayed taking off.

I get to spain. We wete made to stand in another queue to show passports here at the spanish airport. This was an extremely long queue, as there were only about four men dealing with hundreds of people from different flights. I stood in this queue for about an hour. Finally got out. And i was just so tired.

Another thing. The last time that I flew from Spain back to Ireland, a Spanish female security officer asked to pat me down.

I said yes, as I'm sure most people do, as we afraid something worse will happen if we say no.

She then patted me all over. Up and down. She patted me In between my thighs.
She then patted both of my breasts. Which I wasn't expecting. She didnt pay between them or under them. She specifically patted each breast. I would say she slightly cupped them.
I really felt violated. I looked online to see if security officers are allowed to pat you there. And it says airport security officers are allowed to touch you anywhere for security reasons. So you are leaving yourself open to be groped just by taking a flight. I just think some security officers take advantage of their ability to touch others though. There are a lot of stories online of women who say they were molested by female security officers.

All in all, its a very stressful experience.

Uh, yeah, rightfully so?!

Why would they want to allow someone on a plane that refuses to comply with security procedures?

I sure as fuck wouldn’t want to be on a flight with people that refused to be checked and could quite literally be carrying anything.

If you genuinely feel that your pat down experience was a sexual assault, you should absolutely file a complaint. Airports have more cctv cameras than most other places, and the footage can be reviewed to see if the person wasn’t following protocol/acting inappropriately….but as someone previously stated on this thread, air travel is a privilege, not a right, and if you can’t accept that there are stringent security measures in place, then you shouldn’t be flying.

I saw someone complain about having their bag searched at a UK airport, at the security section

The armed guards were called over

The person was informed about all the valid reasons for the search

It caused the queue to stop for 30 minutes

If you are stressed by flying, suggest travel via train, boat, car

There's a difference between a patdown, and someone overstepping the mark and being invasive.

I've had several patdowns before and they were completely fine.

After this last patdown I went home and I was really upset. I said to my mam 'the guard felt my boobs".

They are allowed to do their jobs.

We should also have a proper proceas to complain. There doesn't seem to be great procedures in place to complain. If you google stories where people have complained about airport security staff sexually assaulting them, they all say that nothing happened after they complained.

I see stories online where people have complained about airport staff sexually assaulting them.. they complained , and they weren't treated nicely after they complained. They were treated badly. One man who complained said he was talked to like he was the problem.

I read a news article online where an English woman said she complained about an airport security member feeling and groping her breasts.

She said this security guard patted her body down. Then the guard felt her breasts. Then she started the whole procedure again. And the guard felt her breasts a second time

At this point the woman complained. She said she was then interrogated like "why do you think the woman touched you inappropriately". And she said the staff talked amongst themselves about cctv. She said the way they were talking - they weren't talking about using cctv to help her, they were talking about using cctv to cover themselves.

I think people are extremely extremely naive if you think all of these people are just "doing their job".

You missed my point.

I said I agreed to the patdown put of fear , that I would miss my flight, or worse- that I would be interrogated for longer.

People laughed at me on here that wouldnt happen and they said "no you could have asked for other options".

I said that i dont think thats true. I think that if you refuse a patdown , you will miss your flight. I said "I know for sure that if you refuse a patdown in the states, you won't be let on your flight. What exactly happens if your refuse a patdown in the EU?

You then completely missed the point that I was replying to other people. And then you were nasty to me. Typical mumsnet!

You're being wilfully obstructive at this point

People have said that no, we shouldn't be groped. However they do actually need to feel our breasts as the cup of a bra is an ideal place to hide things for example.

My last search did involve the security officer running her fingers inside the band of my bra, and under the wire.

She also used the side of her hand into my groin to feel for anything.

She also put her fingers inside my shoes before asking me to remove them.

They're meant to be intrusive.

Yes, some will take it too far, as they do in all professions.

No one is disputing that.

That’s not ‘fear’, OP, that’s you recognising that flying requires people to undergo certain security protocols, and that if you don’t undergo them, you don’t get to fly.

I was “nasty” to you..? lol, ok.

No, actually, I am just mind blown that you struggle with the concept that if you refuse to be searched, you potentially forfeit your flight.

It’s interesting to me that you seem hyper fixated on bypassing security (“maybe I’ll take the ferry, they don’t have security or do pat downs, do they?”) - it’s usually the ones that have something to hide that are so avoidant.

No again you are completely missing my point. Totally. Read back the thread. Have you read it. Or just the last page

I said "she asked could she do a patdown. And I agreed'

Posters then said "well she asked you. And sure you agreed to the patdown".

I said "she asked but we don't really have a choice".

Nobody agrees out of full agreement. Like "oh yes I'm fine with being touched".

People agreed because they have no choice. They have to do a patdown or they will miss their flight.

They ask us do we agree to do a patdown. But we have no choice but to agree. So what's the point in asking us

Ffs. Can you bloody read the thread. Its like talking to a wall.

I don't struggle with the concept that if you refuse to be searched I will miss the flight.

I SAID earlier in this thread that if I had refused to be searched I woulf have missed he flight. Can you get that. I SAID THAT.

Other people disagreed with me and said I was being dramatic saying that if u refused a patdown, i would miss the flight/ be interrrogated further.

They said that u would be able to ask for other options other than a patdown.

Which is not correct.

I said to them you can't ask for other options. If you refuse a patdown, you will miss a flight.

Do you have a history of sexual trauma, OP? I really can’t understand someone getting so worked up about a female security guard touching their boobs/bra, presumably with no sexual undertones, during the course of what is meant to be quite a comprehensive security search that you expect when you go to the airport. Maybe flying isn’t for you.

What can't you understand about it? I'd say maybe you can't understand until it happens to you. It's very violating. My male doctor of ten years has never touched my breasts.

And the airport security guard is meant to use the back of her hand on sensitive areas.
M they don't get any sexual gratification.

My security guard used the palms of her hands and held by breasts and felt them.

Look up on the Internet. There are many many stories of women who felt they were sexually assaulted by airport security staff.

You're a strange one. I said I didn't like being toucged at the airport.

I didn't like her grabbing my boobs. I then asked about patdowns on ferries. Obviously its because I don't want to be groped. And i want to travel in a better way

I have no say on whether my private areas are touched and felt in airports. I have no choice.
I don't want my boobs groped agaiM.

I choose not to have my body touched. So I'm going to make the only choice I can make so that I can absolutely be sure that I wbet be groped.

I will choose to take the ferry.

Women should always have the choice about whether their private areas should be touched or not.

I'm making that choice.

I don't want to be touched again. So I will choose to take the ferry in future. No more patdowns for me

Well yes, you have to agree to the security measures to fly.

As others have said, if you feel the search was improperly conducted, make a complaint. I doubt it will go anywhere from what you've described (unless you keep mentioning vaginas, perhaps)

I'm sorry you've had this experience. I fly frequently (once or twice a month) and my experience is that airports are much quieter than pre-covid. Security and immigration queues are generally very fast even at 6am on a Monday morning. I always use the automated passport barriers and there's usually hardly any queue at any of the airports I frequent (LHR, LCY, DUB, FRA, CPH, AMS, STR). Flew back from CPH last night and from getting off the metro to getting to the gate was less than 15 minutes. At LHR from touchdown to getting on the tube was under 25 minutes (yes, I'm sad and I time these things - LCY is the fastest by far).

Im sure it won't go anywhere.

We have no corrext process to complain. People currently say they complain and no one even answers their email

There are people saying online that the whole airport security system needs to be better regulated.

There needs to be a proper complaints team. People are saying now that they complain and they don't hear anything back.

Anyway it's the ferry for me in future

Absolutely. No one has suggested otherwise.

If you feel the search was improperly conducted, make a complaint. That is absolutely your right. Although from looking again at your OP, this happened in Spain some time ago, so presumably there’s the likelihood that CCTV will not exist any more, and you didn’t feel sufficiently strongly about it at the time to move ahead with a complaint. But certainly worth doing. No one needs to endure a sexual assault.

I’m not intending to minimise your experience in advising that, if you were sexually assaulted, make this plain in your communication, whether that’s a complaint form or on Mn. Here you include it in a post that is called ‘To think airports are so stressful lately?’ and it’s at the end of a post that is primarily about having had your bag selected for a random check, having had to queue on a stairs get get on a flight, and having to queue for passport check. That diminishes the seriousness of sexual assault.

It wasnt that long ago.

I disagree with you. It doesn't diminish sexual assault at at all. I think you are in fact diminishing women who are sexually assaulted

Most people when they are inappropriately touched by authority figures, are confused after it happens.

Especially wheit it is done by a professional as part of their job.

I felt very uncomfortable, but i was confused after it happened. And unsure. I thought "was that right? Was that just part of her job?". But i feel reallt uncomfortable. Then i looked it up when i got home and i saw she was meant to use the back of her hands. She used the front.

I live gymnastics. And I was reading aly raisman , the USA gymnasts book.

In it, she talks about Dr. Larry nassar. He was a team doctor. And he sexually assaulted her and many others under disgusting of "medically treating them".

Aly wrote that she felt extremely uncomfortable at what he was doing. But that she wasn't sure if it was sexual assault because she was told it was medical treatment, and he was a doctor. She said to herself "maybe it is a legitimate medical treatment". " and I'm wrong".

Several of the gymnasts talked about his treatment in a gym, they they felt uncomfortable. They were overheard by a female coach and she reported it . And he was charged.

It's very natural to get confused and upset after something like this happens.

I will submit a complaint. It wasn't that long ago it happened.

I think it's a bit rich saying I'm diminishing the seriousness of sexual assault,

When I came on here and said what happened.

And I was immediately told by many people:

You're over reacting
You're being dramatic
They're just doing their job
Do you have a past history of sexual trauma as I can't imagine anyone getting that upset at someone touching their breasts.

My experience was instantly diminished.

Thanks to the kind souls who said kind words though

As with many things on mumsnet.

I'm sorry that I mentioned the woman touching me at all.

Mumsnet is not a place to receive kindness, support in general.

I should have not mentioned it and i should have stuck to the less sensitive issues like the eternally long queues.

I found it easier than ever this year.
Apart from bag drop...and labelling your own suitcases. I am sure that is NOT faster or more efficient.
No queue though
Very short queue for security at Manchester
Manchester will now accept liquids up to 2l. And you don't have to put electronics separate.
Staff very friendly and good with the kids
Loads of time I. Departures for browsing
Boarded on time, left on time, landed on time

Spanish passport control is a bit of a joke to be fair but everything else was great.

OP, if you had come on here and said you felt you’d had an unusually intimate pat-down and were left feeling invaded and upset, and was there a complaint procedure, given that it happened in Spain some time ago, I think you’d have been met with sympathy and advice.

But you didn’t. You wrote a long post about airports being stressful and led off with having your bag searched, queueing to get on a flight, your flight being delayed, and queueing for passport control, which left you tired. Only then did you mention the search, apparently as just another item in a list of ‘why airports are stressful’.

It may not have been your intention, but the effect was to diminish its importance. Which is why I’m saying, if you engage in the complaints procedure, don’t clutter up the search you experienced as assault with other stuff that isn’t relevant.

You're gaslighting me

I talked about being touched inappropriately but the guard many times, I said what happened very clearly.

Other people diminished me. I didn't diminish sexual assault.

I'm absolutely shocked that you would even dream of saying that to me. How cruel can you be.

I've talked about being sexually touched inappropriately many times on this thread. Other people diminished my experience.

Then you tell me that IM diminishing sexual assault.

You're heartless and cruel and cold.

Please reread your OP.

I don't mind airports, big or small, busy or quiet. I just accept them as part of travelling.
You want to be glad that the security only patted your breasts, in my home country, they give them a jolly good squeeze and run their hands underneath them for good measure.