More WWYD - Children's birthday party - daughters contact weekend

[Dilemmaskiddlez]

DD has contact with her father which will be EOW and half the holidays from Summer onwards. Currently she just has after school and weekend day contact whilst it's being built up.
There is a birthday party that falls on her contact day with her father, the issue is, her father is highly abusive and almost everyone hates him. I've offered for her father to take her as it's his contact day, however it has been made abundantly clear that he is not welcome at the party... a few of the parents have seen him operate at the school gates and seen him be unpleasant towards DD's class teacher.
I am just wondering how to navigate this? he is very unpopular at school, my school mums friendship group tell me when he does pick up he just has a face like thunder and looks like a thug.
DD is just going to miss out on so much, I have made it clear that he can take her or that I can take her and bring her to him after, DD also really wants to go.
Sadly, it looks like she will miss out if there is a lack of inflexibility by him and also organising parents. :(

Feeling sad.

It's a real difficulty with seperated parents. It must be more so when one parent is an abusive arse.

Could you offer to swap weekends?

There will be plenty of other parties, just leave this one.
Don't stir anything. It's his contact time and he should be spending it with his DC.
Don't be listening to gossip at the school gate.
It's quite derogatory saying he looks like a thug . If these on lookers have any reason to be frightened they should Co tact the school, otherwise they should mind their own business.

Just tell him it's a drop and run party. Or drop her yourself and get him to pick her up afterwards. She shouldn't miss out.

My ex is absolutely useless (will agree to take them then not go or show up an hour late etc) about attending parties, I don’t accept invites on his contact days unless it’s my kids best best friends. How old is your DD, can he not just drop her off (assuming he’s willing to take her)

I don't think the other parents get a say in who brings your child to a party. We've all gone to children's party where parents we don't like are present - you just suck it up, be polite and focus on the DC. In a year or two, it will be drop and go parties so he can just drop them.

Worst case, ask to swap weekends with him.