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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I didn't pick my dog's poo up

45 replies

JennaRotersy · 07/03/2024 14:06

I was walking home late at night. Secluded road, usually hardly anyone around. A dam at one side, lined with trees..houses the other (I walk on this side as the opposite is very dark).

About half a mile or so from my house. Dog alerted, had heard something. I turned around and there was a man lurking around in the trees across the road , just standing there, wearing all dark clothes, could just about see him. I couldn't tell in the dark whether he was looking toward us or not. I picked up pace, glanced behind me and saw him walking, still opposite side of road but in the same direction. I was unnerved (I've been followed before, robbed before) and started walking much faster. Dog stopped to ppoo. I didn't pick it up. I was panicked, he was about 150-200 yards from me by the time she'd finished pooing and I just scarpered off.

I know I was being unreasonable but next time I looked the man had totally disappeared, assuming hiding in the trees again, he was not there for any good reason in the middle of the night? Doesn't mean he's the next Levi Bellfield of course.

I felt guilty the next day and picked 2 piles up on my dog walk to 'make up' for it!

Where dog had 'gone', it wasn't somewhere people were likely to step. It isn't a rural road but It has a wide path on that side and some bushes, and she'd done it more or less under a bush but if I am honest, I think I'd have still scarpered even if it was on the pavement as I was scared.

OP posts:
Hoglet70 · 07/03/2024 14:07

I don't think anyone is going to have a go at you for this.

VainAbigail · 07/03/2024 14:09

Why on earth are you giving this so much headspace??

Tempnamechng · 07/03/2024 14:09

We'll let you go with that one op, just glad you got home safe. Well done for paying it forward though by picking up someone else's.

Laiste · 07/03/2024 14:10

You weren't unreasonable to have left quickly, but why don't/didn't you go back and pick it up next day?

piglet81 · 07/03/2024 14:11

VainAbigail · 07/03/2024 14:09

Why on earth are you giving this so much headspace??

Probably because she was freaked out by the experience (understandably) and her brain is subconsciously focusing on the part of it that she felt she could have controlled.

Hope you’re OK, OP. You did nothing wrong.

Screamingabdabz · 07/03/2024 14:11

I’m very judgey about dog owners and dog poo but I’ll let you off. Your safety is far more important. Glad you’re ok.

JennaRotersy · 07/03/2024 14:11

Thank you. I could have gone back the next day I guess! It was two days ago.
I felt that, the poos I picked up were in the middle of the path etc and I'd be doing more good picking those up!
I am giving it headspace because I feel bad about it. I never normally don't pick up.

OP posts:
Singleandproud · 07/03/2024 14:11

Glad you got home safe, that's your priority. It sounds like a very iffy place to walk in the dark though I would be rethinking that route .

FooFighter99 · 07/03/2024 14:11

YANBU and you should probably report the man/incident to 101

JennaRotersy · 07/03/2024 14:12

And yes, I am easily freaked out by men when I am alone at night. I do refuse to let it stop me going out (I am single, live alone, go out to the pub or to visit friends so I have to less become a recluse!) but encounters like that scare me a lot I admit.

OP posts:
TheShellBeach · 07/03/2024 14:12

Why are there so many threads about dog shit at the moment?
Hmm

Sageyboots · 07/03/2024 14:13

I voted yabu because I don’t really understand the need to post about it on mumsnet… you made a decision under stressful circumstances and you tried to limit harm from your decision (picking up other poos). I think you need to not dwell on it, it’s very sad that women don’t feel safe and have to alter their normal behaviour for fear of male violence, but it’s always there.

waterlellon · 07/03/2024 14:13

I think its fair enough. You felt threatened. If you'd picked the poo up and he strangled you you'd be wishing you hadn't.

Vettrianofan · 07/03/2024 14:13

This is exceptional circumstances, so no, you definitely did the right thing. Safety first. You can pick the poo 💩 in day light hours when loads of people are milling around.

JennaRotersy · 07/03/2024 14:13

@Singleandproud the alternative route is much 'iffier' if I am honest. If I go out I often like a glass of wine so don't drive anyway(plus dog gets a walk that way) but I might start driving more often now.

OP posts:
waterlellon · 07/03/2024 14:14

JennaRotersy · 07/03/2024 14:12

And yes, I am easily freaked out by men when I am alone at night. I do refuse to let it stop me going out (I am single, live alone, go out to the pub or to visit friends so I have to less become a recluse!) but encounters like that scare me a lot I admit.

No don't feel like this is a you problem. It isn't.

brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr · 07/03/2024 14:14

Stay safe. And good effort “poo offsetting” !

brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr · 07/03/2024 14:15

FooFighter99 · 07/03/2024 14:11

YANBU and you should probably report the man/incident to 101

“What’s the incident ?”

”A man existed near where I was”

pootlin · 07/03/2024 14:19

I am the first to moan about dog shit ridden streets but no, your safety is more important. Nice of you to pick up two x doo doos.

Do you walk by the same place? It might be still there!

Floatinginatincan · 07/03/2024 14:19

Keep an eye on your local FB page for a bloke posting a 'rant' about how he was out walking his dog the other night and saw a woman who didn't pick up her dog shit😀

Maudeslittleredshoes · 07/03/2024 14:22

TheShellBeach · 07/03/2024 14:12

Why are there so many threads about dog shit at the moment?
Hmm

It wasn’t really about dog shit. It was about the sad reality of being a woman today and how vulnerable we can feel at times.

Maudeslittleredshoes · 07/03/2024 14:25

Sageyboots · 07/03/2024 14:13

I voted yabu because I don’t really understand the need to post about it on mumsnet… you made a decision under stressful circumstances and you tried to limit harm from your decision (picking up other poos). I think you need to not dwell on it, it’s very sad that women don’t feel safe and have to alter their normal behaviour for fear of male violence, but it’s always there.

I don’t understand why people post 99% of the stuff on here and yet here we are reading it and commenting on it. We don’t need to do either if we don’t like the post.

Personally I feel posts like this are important. They show the reality of being a woman today. It’s fucking depressing.

Towmcir · 07/03/2024 14:27

Your safety comes first, and I’m a huge believer in the “off feeling” you sometimes get being the best indicator.

Your primary aim is to get somewhere safe, not stop to pick up dog poo.

By the sounds of it you’re very responsible with picking up, so I wouldn’t dwell on it any more (except to notify police that you felt like you were being watched/followed with the location so police are aware).

JennaRotersy · 07/03/2024 14:32

Thank you for the reassurance everyone. I was followed when I used to walk the 'dodgier (quicker!) way' some time ago.

I agree, it is depressing Sad and a sad reality to even think about things like this!

@waterlellon yes, so true. I shouldn't.
@Floatinginatincan I was worried I might be on CCTV or someone looked out of their window or something. Hopefully not!

OP posts:
waterlellon · 07/03/2024 14:35

JennaRotersy · 07/03/2024 14:32

Thank you for the reassurance everyone. I was followed when I used to walk the 'dodgier (quicker!) way' some time ago.

I agree, it is depressing Sad and a sad reality to even think about things like this!

@waterlellon yes, so true. I shouldn't.
@Floatinginatincan I was worried I might be on CCTV or someone looked out of their window or something. Hopefully not!

And if you were and if anyone does ask you tell them what you've said. Perfectly valid feelings.