I am posting in this section for traffic as I would really welcome your thoughts on my situation.
My DH of 12 years uses Viagra . Not every time but certainly when ever it is planned rather than spontaneous . The medicine makes him very erected and even after the deed is done , he will remain in this state due to the increased blood flow. This makes me uncomfortable both physically and emotionally.
We generally don't have a lot of action in the bedroom or out of the bedroom. We are raising young children but tbh it was never great even pre-kids including the need for the medicine . He has had investigations and there is no disease or age related reasons for his situation.
This is not something that he has ever discussed with me or that I feel comfortable talking to him about as we don't really talk about much (because he says talking about things makes him angry , ruins his day and upsets him for a long time ).
I just grin and bear it sporadically as I know he can't really help it and it's part of the package being a relationship.
I am not really sure what I hope to achieve with this post .
I know the options are leave him, talk about it to atleast reduce the emotional burden of keeping it all in or initiate sex more myself so that atleast it happens on my terms and doesn't involve medicine . As it is we can easily go many weeks or months without anything. When it gets like this he also tends to sleep in the guest bedroom .
Anyone else in the same situation ? What has worked for you ?