Just before we get into it, this is sex related (so if you don’t want to read you can leave)
I have recently broke up with my boyfriend who I was with for 10 years. 4 years into our relationship, sex started getting painful. After some tests and exams they found a large cyst on my ovary. I had it removed and they sent me a letter to say they also found endometriosis. A year later I had surgery to remove as much of the endo as they could. However, the painful sex has never gone away. I’ve been back and fourth a few times at the doctors/hospital but unfortunately it’s just a symptom of having endometriosis.
With my last partner, he already loved and cared about me when all of this started, so we worked through it together. We worked out which positions and angles feel ok and which ones hurt. And we knew when in my cycle was the most painful. So all in all we had quite a normal sex life because we knew how to make it comfortable, however we could never really be spontaneous and sometimes would have to stop half way through.
i have been very anxious since becoming single about explaining this to anyone new, and how they might feel about it. I just feel like no man in his 30s is going to want to be with someone who has so many rules and restrictions when it comes to sex, it might seem a bit much for a new partner to want to deal with. I am possibly over thinking it but it’s something that makes me anxious and I can’t help it. I don’t know how to go about telling someone new, and how to do it and what to say. I can’t just not mention it because unfortunately, I can’t just passionately sleep with someone, I will need to let them know what we can and can’t do, and go slow at first etc. I know any decent man won’t be put off by this and will be respectful, but I can’t help thinking it’s going to be hard for me to find someone willing to stick around.
Does anyone have any advice on how to feel better about this or how to go about it when the time comes?