AIBU that I genuinely hate anyone that upsets

[Makeupbrush]

My DD (12)
but equally when people make her happy I like/love them.

will
this ever change as sometimes im
on quite the merry go round with this one

This is very unhealthy. You’re an adult. You shouldn’t be “genuinely hating” anyone. All people get upset at times, sometimes rightfully, sometimes wrongly. It’s your job as a parent to help your DD navigate tricky relationships, not necessarily pander to her feelings.

Whoa!

No, I don't think you ever stop feeling their pain. If someone cheats on your adult child and breaks their heart, you'll feel the same.

I can imagine I will. My dd has been really let down by friends today and they are being downright nasty to her. Iv watched her in tears and broken tonight. Gave her lots of pairing thoughts and hugs and reminded her just how amazing she is but I’m sat her and feel like I hate the people
whonhave caused her this pain

I have a healthy dislike for the little shits that took the piss out of my DS who has ASD (and they know this as been at school with him from age 3)on his first day at college in front of loads of people. He told me the whole conversation verbatim as he didn't understand why they were all laughing.
I don't hate them. Just hope they learn to be better.

It is awful. I was your daughter in my teens. She feels lonely and isolated which is a form of bullying. Keep telling her she is worth more and will meet her tribe.

This has given me a sore heart. Your brave, wonderful son is worth a million of them. And you sound like a fab mum with a great attitude too

Pairing thoughts???

I have a 13yo dd and if I took on her feelings and hated those who wronged her I would be very busy! I also don’t think it’s healthy as I want to encourage her to have self worth and learn that others opinions and behaviour does not need to impact her so deeply.

the teenage years are tough for friendships and I can see that they are all still learning. One thing they need to learn is that just because you think something doesn’t mean you have to say it - you need a filter!!

I get it op. I've a dd12 who I'm very close to and she tells me everything. She had a rough start to high school last year and I remember the anxiety waiting on her texting to see if she was sitting alone again at lunch because she'd been excluded. Luckily things have turned a corner and she's much happier, so so am I.

No I don't feel like this at all, I take it all with a pinch of salt tbh. I hope they will always talk to me but I don't really get involved and I tend to think it's swings and roundabouts for the most part (serious bullying aside of course). Maybe I've got a heart of stone 😂

It doesn't change. Ds is sensible, mature, responsible and has loads of friends and a gf but at 18 i still worry about it him. It's innate i think in most mothers to want to fiercely protect their child.