To invite all the boys but 2 to birthday party?

[Doubtfyre]

Please can you help me with party etiquette! First time party for 5 year old... if I could go back in time I'd have done things differently. I made the mistake of asking him who he wanted to invite, and kept asking him to make sure. He wanted all the boys, then changed his mind and wanted 8 of the 11 boys, plus two girls. Now he wants one more boy, which means two boys won't be invited. Is this bad form? Do kids know at that age? I felt like all the boys but 3 was perhaps okay, but leaving 2 out doesn't feel right!

Thank you, this stuff really stresses me out!

It's not ok.
Those little boys will feel terrible as will their mothers.

Use your common sense.

You need to invite all the boys

It's really not ok.

No it's not ok, and a 5 year old obviously doesn't have the skills to figure that out.

You need to do that for him.

Imagine if it were your child. Invite them ffs

How would your boy feel when he’s left out? Because he will be.

You honestly cannot do this.

All or half max at this age

You have to do the parenting because 4 year olds can't.

As the mum of the kid who was left out (ADHD) I can tell you it's not OK but it is common.

Thank goodness those days are over now.

This is a prime example of why giving children too much choice just doesn’t work. You can’t leave them out OP you just can’t.
Imagine the next party that comes up and you find out everyone but your little one was invited.

Oh no, I feel really awful for the two boys who are going to be left out. I'd be inviting all of them if I was in your shoes.

It's really not ok at that age.

It is so not ok!!

Think how you would feel if it was your son who was left out!

You can't just leave out two boys, it would be so unkind, and their mothers would be unforgiving.

No - you can’t just leave 2 out.

Same happened with my boy for his 5th bday- he insisted I don’t invite 3 of the boys. I had invited the whole class so decided to see what happens. Well 2 of the 3 boys he didn’t want came and my boy had an absolute blast with one of those boys.

My 4 year old daughter came home really upset the other day because she didn't get an invite that most of the class did. It's not OK.

Not OK.

interesting you turned off voting because you know it’s not ok.

Okay thank god I posted. Thank you! I will invite them!! A few people said to me it really doesn't matter just invite who they want, but that definitely didn't feel right! I'm ridiculous for giving so much choice - thank you everybody!!!

So is this a class of 30 children, so whole class would be 29 plus your ds. He’s inviting a selection of children, 10, plus him, meaning 2/3 of the class aren’t invited. You might increase to 11 plus ds.

id say as long as it’s less than half the class it’s ok, above that you have to go whole class party. You are still below half the class, just there’s an imbalance between the sexes.

at this age they won’t think “he’s invited all but 2 of the boys” but “he’s invited some of the boys and girls but not me”.

don’t give out invites at school gate, you’ll be fine.

Agree with the others. It’s not ok. Different if you were only inviting 1/3 or maybe 1/2 the class, but to leave out 2, for a 5 years olds party is not on

My children are currently in a nursery so there's 60+ children. I had a teacher write down 15 names of who she plays with.

When she goes to school, I'll invite her entire class.

Just saw your update - I think you’re doing the right thing!