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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To get very irritated with people who are easily distracted?

36 replies

Unreasonableellie · 06/03/2024 16:10

I'm wondering if it's a me or them situation. I'll give a few examples of what I mean.

If I'm on the phone speaking to my mum she will constantly have interruptions. For example my dad will keep butting in in the background asking questions, or she'll say "hang on my mobile/house phone is ringing" and leave me waiting while she goes off to answer another call,

She lives in an apartment block and if I go to see her before we get to her flat we will have made several stops for her to chat to neighbours. It's not the neighbours approaching my mum it's the other way round. Sometimes I'm in a hurry and it takes half an hour to get in or out of her home.

My sister does it too. She rings me and then starts conversations with her husband or she stops our conversation to watch something on tv. If we go out anywhere she starts up random conversations with people. If we are out for a meal or coffee she starts telling the waiter her life story. Or starts chatting to the people on the table next to us.

As a result trying to do anything takes absolutely forever.

I now have a colleague who is like this. We will be working on a task together and there are one million distractions so she will answer a non urgent call or text, wander off to find a pen or envelope for someone, say hi and stops for a chat with every single person that goes by. A task that should take an hour ends up taking half a day as a result.

I've been so busy the last few years that I've found I have to be quite on the ball with everything and I wonder if these people are being annoying or if I'm being impatient.

OP posts:
VoodooRajin · 03/02/2025 14:53

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

If its urgent it will be texted, thats just an excuse to pick up every call, ignore it

MounjaroOnMyMind · 03/02/2025 14:54

LoubieIoo · 06/03/2024 16:15

It sounds like you have no patience. All of the above is very normal.

It really isn't!

MounjaroOnMyMind · 03/02/2025 14:56

I can't see why anyone would think you were being unreasonable, OP. I don't think you sound impatient, particularly with the woman at work. Why not just be sharp with her and say "Can we focus on this as there's a deadline?"

VisitationRights · 03/02/2025 14:58

YANBU the family examples are just rude and not acceptable behaviour, the work example is unprofessional, you can’t miss a deadline for a nice chat

vivainsomnia · 03/02/2025 15:00

I'm with you on that. My OH and family are the same and it drives me potty. I find them so rude especially as it's a one way street.

I'll listen to them, ask questions, and when they ask me a question and I start answering, it's like they are looking for things to distract them within 5 seconds. Usually something relating to the dog, like 'oh, I love it when he lays on his back, he looks so cute'.

I now won't continue after their interruptions and 9 times out of 10, they don't even ask me to continue or they will 2 minutes later, by which time, my brain has moved on anyway. They complain that I don't go to see them as often any longer 😁

I notice that this is indeed becoming quite common. Its so bad mannered. Even if bored, allowing someone to speak for 5 minutes without interrupting is just common courtesy.

Aviddreamers · 03/02/2025 15:05

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

GreenSmithing · 03/02/2025 15:11

Haha. Yes, I am quite impatient but this does wind me up. I know mumsnet doesn't like the term, but it's very 'Main Character Energy.' In their heads, the camera is following them and all the side stories they get caught up in, while the rest of us wait, like the supporting cast, only saying our lines once their attention switches to us.

I do quite a lot of "I'll catch you later when you're less busy, bye" these days.

FictionalCharacter · 03/02/2025 15:38

she'll say "hang on my mobile/house phone is ringing" and leave me waiting while she goes off to answer another call,

This is really rude. I wouldn’t be sitting there like a spare part while she leaves our call to take another one. I’d hang up!

myotherusernamesarebetter · 03/02/2025 15:50

It’s not you! I would feel the same.

EngelbertVonSmallhausen · 03/02/2025 16:28

I have a friend who is very easily distracted and it drives me mad. We'll meet for a coffee and a chat, but every time someone walks into the cafe she will look to see who it is, watch them walk to the counter, listen to them place an order etc. I can be mid sentence and she'll just talk over me to say "Oh I could tell he was going to order that last piece of cake". Sometimes I want to click my fingers in her face to get her attention back to me but it seems rude, even though what she is doing is rude IMO!

PeloMom · 03/02/2025 16:34

YeahIsaidit · 06/03/2024 16:23

Honestly, it sounds more like you get pissed off when the focus isn't entirely on you

Wow. At work? Colleagues taking a random call instead of getting the job done? Really? Someone intentionally wasting your time by chatting to everyone and their dog? Has nothing to do with attention seeking and everything to do with disrespecting OP’s time

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