I think I’m autistic

[HelpWBD]

Please be kind I have no one in RL to talk to. I’ve just been reading up on this and I think I might be autistic. Just want to know what others think:

1. I’m very disorganised and scatty, my house is always a mess no matter how much I try. I work part time and have 2 DC in full time school. On my days off I literally clean from 10-2 but nothing ever gets sorted

2. I get upset very easily. If a school mum doesn’t respond to my hello I think about it all day and convince myself everyone hates me

3. I can’t make eye contact naturally but I have all my life made myself make eye contact so I force myself

4. I am always tired and social situations exhaust me

5. in okay one to one but group settings I find difficult

6. noises and smells overwhelm me

i’m only just processing this all now so there is a lot more that I haven’t written. I’ve always felt left out and isolated and thought it was my childhood ( sexual abuse, neglect, physical abuse from older siblings and parents, I never felt safe. We were a minority where I grew up, actually only family of Color and I always felt unsafe as would get verbally and sometimes physically attacked by the other kids)

im feeling very lost I don’t know where to go from here. I feel really upset that it’s taken me this long to figure it out. Im in my 40’s

@PatienceOfEngels thats very interesting. Thank you for that. I’ve not considered social anxiety. I think social interaction is part of it but I also feel very overwhelmed with things

I think we can all look at the diagnostic criteria and think "oh I'm a bit like that".
The poster above says it best, it's about the impact it has on your life.

I might say that I get tired from social interaction, but for me it doesn't stop me going to work, stop me from doing normal everyday things like shopping or meeting friends.

It kind of bothers me when people say "I'm a bit autistic" or whatever, because it comes across as minimising the real impact it has on autistic people's lives.

Have you ever had any talking therapy regarding the childhood trauma?
The trauma you suffered could be what makes you feel the way you feel and behave the way you do. It has a deep impact.
Just suggesting an alternative angle that it could be C-PTSD and not ASD/ADHD.

Sounds more like ADHD to me

Can we dispel this myth about Autistic people being tidy. Some are, some aren't. My grandmother, uncle, mum, husband and son are/were all autistic. I work with autistic students. Please be careful about applying what you know to be true of one / some autistic people to all of them. It's called the Autustic Spectrum for a reason,

@HelpWBD
Try the AQ test ( free online) to see how highly you score. Go talk to your GP. Diagnoses can take a really long time but a lot of people feel real relief when they get it. There are tons of great books out there, specifically about women with autism. All the best.