Bathing arrangements for 9yo

[historiccastles]

9 year old neurotypical child, no special needs.

Is it infantilising for the child for the person caring for them to sit in the bathroom with them the whole time and then to physically towel dry them when they get out?

My kids are older but I'm pretty sure at 9, I would have run the bath, chivvied them in and out, checked they washed and dried themselves but not done it for them or sat watching them the whole time.

How did the conversation come about? If she was looking for advice couldn’t you have said something reasonably tactful then and there like ‘isn’t she showering by herself yet’?

I can’t say I’ve ever discussed DC’s bathing arrangements with friends, not since we’re talking toddler years and bedtime routines anyway. Even friends or family that we’ve stayed with or been on holiday with, I have no clue how involved in the process they actually are! So how and why you’re aware of the situation is quite relevant I think as it’s not really a normal conversation! That said though, she already has her own DD telling her she hates the towel drying and won’t stop so god knows if she’d listen to you and she clearly doesn’t have much/any concept of boundaries or privacy when it comes to DD. You might be best staying out of it!

Sometimes I sit and chat to my 9yo whilst she's in the bath, mostly I don't, but that's quite a recent development. I don't dry her, but I do sometimes pass her the towel and wrap her up like a 'baby burrito'.

Otherwise she showers, dries and dresses herself. Sometimes I help with body lotion application afterwards and help her dry her hair, but only if asked to.

A nine-year-old should absolutely be allowed to bathe in private and doesn’t need help to dry themselves. It’s pretty horrible to insist on drying a child who doesn’t like it. They’re not a toddler.

My 9yo likes company so she often has her 6yo sister in the bathroom (the 6yo doesn't share the actual bath, just hangs out with her sister for a while)

9yo is fine to wash and condition her own hair though (long, curly and needs to be tangle teased whilst the conditioner is in which she also does) and she thoroughly washes and dries herself. She just likes to have someone with her to chat to.

If the child doesn’t want help drying, then she should be left to it alone.

My dd is ND and insisted on privacy by age 5. She switched to showers for safety and I would stay in the hall and help minimally. I really can’t even imagine needing to help a 9yo bathe or a 9yo who would tolerate the invasion.

Who is doing the drying , is it your friend, is he /she the parent. Who mentioned it to you .

Post footy ds 9 showers alone like 4 times a week! . Sunday night is bath night. I am in the bathroom the whole time. Catch up with ds time! Sometimes have music or a Disney film on to sing along!! I am dm BTW...

I dry my DD who's 9 but this is because she has long hair and she hates the wet hair touching her. I'm trying to encourage her to dry herself as I think she should be doing it herself now. If she objected there is no way I would be doing it for her. She's entitled to privacy.

My just turned 9 yr old gets himself a shower every morning.
We turn it on as he's just a tad too short, but he does the rest including drying.
He is ND.