I won't go into the entire backstory as it is long.
After years of my SIL disrespecting me with a number of disparaging remarks, Christmas for me was the final straw when her disrespect reached a new level and she started being rude about my own family who she doesn't know.
Last week walking to school my 5 year old DD asked me whether she had two mums as SIL had apparently told her that she was DD's step-mum and 2nd mum. This isn't the 1st time SIL has said things to DD without me being there. At Christmas my DD said she didn't think it would be a good idea if I travelled North to visit DH's family. She later said SIL had said that to her. The mum comment really annoyed me, but I brushed it off and said that she (SIL) gets confused.
Spoke to DH about it and he said that SIL is mentally unwell and doesn't know what she is saying. His family give the green light to use mental health as an excuse for being rude and disrespectful.
Given what has happened / said over the years, I've put in place boundaries and I have gone no contact with her as it is just easier that way. Last night DH accused me of not including SIL in our lives and how SIL is upset that I have not contacted her at all this year. I told him communication is a 2 way street and she hasn't contacted me. For me, the hurtful comments over the years have added up and for my own wellbeing I've decided to limit contact. MIL has also waded in and said that I deliberately try to exclude SIL by not telling her things that we as a family are doing or things that affect DD. Truth is, I don't want this woman to know much as she plants things in DD's head.
I feel like I am banging my head against a brick wall. DH doesn't get it and it feels that SIL can do no wrong in his eyes and I am the bad guy for wanting to limit contact.
He contacts her and speaks with her on the phone surely that is enough without letting her know every single thing about our lives?!