To wonder why some people are so violent?

[PassingStranger]

What makes people so violent?
I think I'm particulary talking about men who beat and abuse women, and then stalk them and kill them when they finish the relationship.
Just reading about Holly Glazzard who was murdered by her boyfriend at work when she finished with him. He'd also been violent to his mother and previous girlfriends as is often the case.
How does a women win. If they weren't violent she wouldn't have to finish it. Then she ends up dead.

Can't they get any help?
Life is much easier when your nice. Sorry if that sounds daft but it is.
What happiness is it for them being that way and possibly ending up in prison too?

Are they mentally disturbed?
Why do some men who aren't violent struggling to get partners and violent nasty ones seem to pull the women too?

Almost always, they have violence in their childhoods. Then they are socialised by society, media and friends/family to believe violence is sometimes justified. They apply that to whenever anyone doesn't do what they want. Add to that a PD or head injury, or addiction, it's a perfect storm.

Treatment is available but almost always unsuccessful. Something around 10% success rate. Which is nothing. IME the men who stop are the ones who made another very big life change (typically giving up alcohol). And even then, it's difficult to measure.

Men who are violent to women are always dangerous. They don't stop being so.

What is a PD?

Personality disorder

Thanks! That's it.

I’ve been in an abusive relationship he has trauma from childhood so many factors he also has PTSD from childhood there is so much that contributes to such behaviour

@PassingStranger Why do some men who aren't violent struggling to get partners and violent nasty ones seem to pull the women too?

Violent, nasty men don't always wear a sign on their head saying "I'm violent". It isn't always possible to tell straight away - I know men who have full face tattoos but are genuinely lovely people who spend time playing with their grandkids, wouldn't hurt a fly. And there are plenty of "male feminist" types who turnout to be abusive. And of course the other way round - very often the big biker bloke with scary tattoos and scarss DOESN'T have a heart of gold. But we can't read peoples minds and often abuse only starts after marriage/in pregnancy.

That said some men might as well have a flashing sign on their heads saying "trouble" and some women will still go for them. Those women usually had chaotic/traumatic pasts themselves so their idea of what is healthy in a partner is off.

Or, because the violent man has been a victim in his past he gives off the aura of having been hurt and vulnerable/needing fixing. Caring people are drawn to that and sometimes its fine but sometimes they are as the other posters said one of the victims of abuse who go on to be abusive themselves.

https://committees.parliament.uk/writtenevidence/6266/html/#:~:text=29%25%20had%20experienced%20abuse%3B%2041,guilty%20of%20a%20criminal%20offence.

The UK prison population …

• 24% had been in care at some point while they were growing up.
• 29% had experienced abuse; 41% had observed abuse.
• 37% had a family member who had been found guilty of a criminal offence. About 30% of these family members had been in custody.
• 15% had been homeless prior to custody. 44% had been in their prior accommodation for less than a year and 28% had been in their prior accommodation less than 6 months.

I know that not all prisoners have been convicted of violent offences but the point I’m trying to make is that there are some circumstances that make it more likely for people to become offenders. I also know that lots of people get away with crime like violence.

“In the youth estate, some of these statistics are even more pronounced. HMInspectorate of Prison’s (HMIP) 2018-19 survey of children in custody in Young Offender Institutions (YOIs) and Secure Training Centres (STCs), based on inspections of 5 YOIs and 3 STCs, found that 52% of respondents reported having been in care while they were growing up.And in the 16-21 age group, almost half of young men and two thirds of young women in prison have been in care.”

I think a lot of the problems are directly to do with the likes of Andrew tate n that . Him and those like him , should reigned in .

But also , some people are basically bullies in all aspects. From being young , they HAVE to be right / first/ the best. I used to know a woman who thoroughly enjoyed screwing her mates blokes and splitting them up . She was also an abusive parent too and an abusive wife.... some people are just vile . There's usually signs to look out for tho .