Very stressful jobs

[ThirtyThrillionThreeTrees]

AIBU to think that a job of jobs being described as very stressful aren't really.

There's a hell of a lot of posters who use the phrase "my husband has a very stressful job".

Some of my colleagues describe our job as very stressful. Sure it's detailed and precise and there's a lot of things to know but it's not actually stressful if you are organised & good are time management.

Are people who find their jobs stressful actually in the right roles?

Or is it the environment that's stressful rather than the actual role. Poor management, bad culture etc.

I'm sure roles involving emergency services are stressful but surely most jobs shouldn't be stressful if you know what your doing?

Just curious.

Funnily enough I was discussing this with a couple of younger members of my family earlier today. One is starting out as a commercial lawyer, the other starting out as a child protection social worker, similar ages. Both working hard, long hours, stressed out but one earning 4 x the other which helps immensely.

Jobs in which one is held accountable for things outside one's control are stressful.

Ditto jobs with a high degree of flux and unpredictability.

Ditto jobs in which one questions the ethics of practice and one is not able to operate with integrity or in congruence with one's values.

I put teaching in this category, where pay-progression and performance management depend on pupils' progress and attainment, yet, with the best will in the world you can't make the horse drink.

Situations can and do develop with very little advance warning, seemingly out of the blue. Hyper-vigilance and incident-readiness through perpetual dynamic risk assessment is exhausting.

Decisions such as to offer additional support not to the neediest third, but to the bracket slightly above, just in case they happen to scrape a "
combined' score in their SATs with a bit of prodding prevent

Teaching is stressful.

I find my role stressful. The decisions that I make have the potential to significantly impact the lives of an awful lot of people. I don't take those decisions lightly.

Tbh, if I felt no stress when making those decisions, it would mean that I just didn't care. And that would definitely mean that I was in the wrong job.

I think it comes back to the kind of work that you do, really. If you do a job that affects the lives of real people, and you take your responsibilities seriously, then I think it's pretty normal to feel stressed sometimes. If you do a job that is actually pretty pointless, that has no significant impact on the world and/or you don't really give a toss, then I guess there is no reason for you to feel stress?

Different types of stress

Working as emergency services I was stressed because of fear of making a mistake and having that responsibility

Working now in a call centre I am stressed most days because of it being busy, the amount of stuff to remember and answering 100+ calls a day is mentally draining, also irate/abusive callers

So, my job has a lot of those elements but I don’t find it particularly stressful.

Working somewhere where I was overworked, bullied by my managers, and didn’t feel I was able to do my job properly due to excessive workload? I did find that very stressful.

I do make financial decisions that have an impact on people's lives and of course I care and don't take them lightly.

That said, I believe I make them for the right reasons, based on all possible information at the time so don't find it stressful.

Once I can stand over the logic applied, I am comfortable with the decision & move on.

My stressful jobs were made stressful mostly by toxic and unreasonable management. Another job was stressful as all the workload was done in 2 days (quantity couldn’t be planned and organized) and the other 3 days were relatively steady. Depends on the job.
Where I worked in finance, you didn’t know when a bunch of deals will come at the same time and what tight deadlines there would be. Add needing input from others who, say, were travelling or difficult to reach for a variety of reasons and yes, could get very stressful. The compensation was reflective of the stress levels.

My job is stressful but manageable. We have residents who die regularly. We just know they have had a dignified death and family have been supported. We still go home and think about the lovely person they was .💕

This. Plus managing up. In most of my jobs my 'customers' were the Executive Team, which is much harder than your average person! Plus many of us have complex work which involves alot of mental capacity, and you're the person that needs to generate new ideas or problem solve things.

Interesting. I've worked in intensive care and found it less stressful than another job in commercial sector where I had to drive around the country basically telling hospital consultants they'd done things wrong.

In intensive care, yes, people died, the hours were long, it was incredibly busy and tiring. It was sad. But actually those around you supported you, respected you. I did my best. I saved lives. I felt proud.

The other job involved travel through all of uk, delayed flights, long journeys, traffic jams, hospital car parks and finding your car, people not wanting you there checking your work and being rude to you. Consultants with God complexes hating feedback. Nhs computer systems. WiFi that didnt work. Very short deadlines and no support and managers making unreasonable requests.

So, I know it's not the conventional "well, noone will die if you make a mistake" answer, but on a day to day basis, the commercial job was more stressful.

I find working with people to be stressful. Too many personalities. If I didn't have to interact with anyone it would be perfect.

I worked for an Australian government agency twenty-odd years ago. I lasted six months before stress drove me to quit. It was enforcing punitive, complex, constantly changing rules on people for the crime of being out of work. Only thing I've had that was as bad was being in a call centre where you were docked for going to the loo.

Sometimes it's the job itself, sometimes it's management, sometimes it's who you work with, sometimes, God forbid, it's all three. They all equal "stressful job".

Interesting perspectives.

I think my view is shaped by other people (mainly men) with the exact same role as me (granted different regions & staff) but the same function describe our role as stressful.

I have met some of their partners over the years and there's definite exaggeration of the stress, workload, pressure, importance etc.

I don't believe it's a genuine representation of what we do.

They could chuck any of us out the door in the morning and have us replaced by lunchtime. Yes, it would take a replacement a good while to get up to speed but we aren't rocket scientists or brain surgeons.

Maybe it's just me but every time I see a "my husband has a very stressful job" post, I really think "ya right, that's just what he tells you so he can excuse x,y or z"

Maybe I'm just a cynic!

They're saying they find the job stressful. Not that the actual job is something stressful.

hmmm… my DH has one of those literal life or death jobs and describes my middle mgmt job as stressful.

He can’t fathom when I talk about something that caused a $1M oops…I can’t figure out how he works with the general public without snapping.

Truth be told he’d suck at my job and I would be terrible at his. Luckily we both landed where we did and respect each other for what we do.

@HollyKnight but I know they are exaggerating. I know the role inside out. If they are genuinely stressed, they are in the wrong role.

@saltinesandcoffeecups that's kind of what I mean. If people are in the right roles, then don't find their jobs as stressful.

I had a stressful job.

I was a teacher, mostly working with autistic teens or teens who had experienced trauma.

The teaching itself wasn't too bad, but we had a change of headteacher and it became clear she wanted us to do some things that were very unethical.

I had a nervous breakdown (developed a serious mental health problem which has now been diagnosed) and left.

You could argue I wasn't suited for the job but I'd been doing that particular job for 10 years and in education for 20. Also many many other teachers left/changed school/retired for similar reasons.

I work on a complex geriatric ward - lots of dementia, safeguarding issues and end of life care. it's difficult, frustrating and can be very draining but I don't find It as stressful as my previous job in a very busy 'food on the go' place. Mainly because I'm not in a managerial role anymore but I think possibly because I feel more appreciated/worthwhile.

I am sure that I heard (or read) an article about work stress - something about waiters being more stressed then brain surgeons (on a physiological level at least). As the waiters have more demand on them and less control over workplace/workload, with poor pay/conditions.

Whereas brain surgeons generally have a team around them supporting and making sure things run smoothly.

It was very interesting - I will try and find it.

Well, that's good for you, I suppose, but perhaps your decisions are more straightforward than the ones that other people are making? Or perhaps the potential impact of them is less significant? Or perhaps you just don't care quite as much as you think you do?

Knowing that my decisions are carefully considered and based on all of the evidence that is available to me at the time doesn't stop me from worrying about the potential outcome of those decisions, which is sometimes far from predictable and which has the potential to have a devastating impact on people's lives if I've made the wrong call. I'm not so arrogant as to think that I can never get it wrong, nor am I so cold as to be able to completely detach myself from the potential impact on other people. I stand by my view that, in my line of work at least, if you never get stressed, you're probably in the wrong job.

Of course, resilience in such roles is essential, and you have to be able to manage your stress so that it doesn't get out of control. However, I think a degree of stress is inevitable if you are taking the role seriously enough.

I think my husband's job is insanely stressful. And I genuinely don't know how he's not died from stress. He runs his own business that he set up himself and has painstakingly built from the ground up. He's now 15 years in and responsible for 50 people's employment, insane rent on the premises, insane business rates, making enough profit to keep going in a tough market. The decisions he has to make on a day to day basis are loaded with such responsibility.

I just work 40 hours a week in university admin. It's busy but if something goes wrong it's never the end of the world and I get paid holidays. I never think about work outside of it.

I think it’s down to the person really, and what they do/n’t find stressful.

I have a frontline practically minimum wage role dealing with customers in a food bank in a deprived corner of London. I practically skip into work most days - I enjoy what I do enormously and don’t find it stressful. DH thinks I am crackers. I think his commute + corporate hierarchy + colleagues sound like a nightmare.

Unless you are in a clinical role which I very much doubt I would say you don't have a stressful job compared to the clinicians. Walk a mile in their shoes if you want to find out what a high stress job is.

@Saschka

Working somewhere where I was overworked, bullied by my managers, and didn’t feel I was able to do my job properly due to excessive workload? I did find that very stressful.

The OPs thread is about stressful jobs (ie. jobs where the stress comes from the job). What you are talking about is not a inherently stressful job due to the role and work itsefl, it's being bullied and overworked.

Anyone would feel stressed being bullied and overworked just as you would if you were being sexually harassed or assaulted, even if your base job was arranging flowers for angels.

I think the the only inherently stressful jobs are the ones where someone else's life and/or general welfare depends on you: healthcare professionals, police, army, social workers...

Most office jobs are only 'stressful' because of poor management and work practices.

@CloudyYellow as I said, people could argue my job is stressful - friends tell me they couldn’t do it, working on call evenings and weekends and making decisions that could impact on lives but that is my world so I don’t find it stressful. Different things stress different people out.