DH being an arse

[Wantt]

Just wondered if anyone can relate as he’s seriously getting on my nerves.

He’s normally a nice man, but he’s not been well lately and complains about everything I do.

His dinner today was apparently too big, the Victoria sponge I made was square instead of round so his slice was rectangular not triangular, he felt the need to point this out to me. He lost his favourite jumper which is apparently my fault because I do the laundry and I left the back door open too long for the dog to go out for a poo letting all the cold air in. This is just a snapshot of today!

It’s miserable and I just don’t have the headspace for all this trivial bollocks.

I’ve told him he’s getting on my nerves and I’m finding his behaviour quite unattractive. One of two things happens depending on his mood. He will either completely deny everything telling me it’s all in my head or he will apologise then continues to moan or act like a four year old. I ignore him most of the time but just follows me around being needy - he’s never been like this.

we’ve been married for twenty years and have been happy but he’s become an insufferable arse. Will this pass? I guess we can’t all be happy all of the time but he’s seriously pissing me off. Shall I continue to ignore him and buy him his own laundry basket?

What else is going on in your lives? It sounds like there’s something bigger in the background which is the catalyst for little resentments and petty gripes being brought up.

Has this just been while he's unwell? Is it a cold type illness or something more serious? Is he tired/worn out?

It sounds like a reaction to something else going on in his life, something he feels he can't control so he's moaning about stupid things to try and feel some sense of control

I would seriously have a talk with him. He us expressing a lot of distress, acting out what he doesn’t have words for.

My husband us being like this. I'm considering packing my bags in all honesty

Or maybe ask him why he is so grumpy. It's either for fun as he's a pillock, he's not well or he is stressed about something. Highly unlikely he's met someone else and he's trying to annoy you enough that you leave.

If your free services of cooking, baking and washing are not good enough for him then down tools and tell him to crack on.

He won’t stop moaning until you stop doing these things for him and he has to do them on his own.

He was diagnosed with Coeliac disease about 10 months ago. Maybe he’s still struggling to come to terms with it. I make all his food for him, he’s never been great in the kitchen and I enjoy cooking so it’s not a big deal for me, but I think he could be a little more appreciative rather than pick holes in everything I do.

I know he doesn’t mean it as he does often tell me how lucky he is as he calls me ‘awesome’, he tells me all the time how much he loves me, but my God he’s hard work! Maybe I’m expecting too much, he’s not good at articulating himself or reading other people’s feelings.

Quite. I have done this but he’s just proved how inept he is in certain areas. I end up feeling sorry for him as he clearly can’t do these things naturally and he’s so stressed about stuff like cooking / laundry. As he’s good in other areas (he does all life admin, works hard for himself, sorts practical stuff out in the house like diy, he’s a good dad etc) I just kind of accept he’s rubbish at cooking etc.

He’s essentially a good person but he needs to stop moaning!

I could have written this my DH was diagnosed with prostate cancer 3 years ago and has been awful to live with he does nothing at home I work 2 jobs look after 2 kids and lost my sister to cancer 2 weeks ago but it's all about him and his feelings he's now convinced he's not got long left and I'm trying to greave my sisters death but not allowed too

I'm so sorry, be kind to yourself, especially so if he doesn't xxx