Friend always privately messages to ask if I’m going to group event

[Couldwatchblueyallday]

I have a WhatsApp friends group with 5 other mum friends, we often do things with our kids or will have a few lunches/nights out.
Whenever there is a group event and we’ve all confirmed we’re going and chatted about it on WhatsApp, my friend will message me a bit before the event and ask if I’m going, when I already have said I am and have chatted about it not long before on group chats
Why is she doing this?

I never made school gate mum friends i avoided them like the plague.
I took my child to school and picked him up.

this, although confident people can also need reassurance and that "safe friend"

Maybe she doesn't really like the others that much so makes sure that you're going!

I do this with my sister because she’s flaky as. She’ll say in a group she’s going but if I text her privately the morning of an event she often has some reason not to show which she wasn’t going to inform anyone of, that’s fine but if I was mainly interested in seeing her, I try to find out in time to back out if I can.

Meh, I do this! I’m in a group chat with my friends but am closer to one of them so will always message her separately to ask, and vice versa 🤷🏼‍♀️

It could be nothing, just chatting.

It could be a nice reason, like she enjoys your company.

It could be a shitty reason, like she's trying to be queen bee or she's being passive aggressive about your previous cancellations.

Yea, once they get on the blood wine, and the bat’leths come out, it’s carnage…

😂

I’m getting paranoid that maybe it’s because she doesn’t want me to go 🤷🏻‍♀️

Some are very good at hiding social anxiety

Same.

I think many of us are like that.

I told would probably be rhe sociable one but maybe it's a group she would happily take or leave especially if you are not going and you are the one she likes the most.

I very much doubt that!!! I don’t know the reason obviously but if I was to guess it would be all for positive reasons, there is nothing nasty or snide texting someone to check their going, if I was asking someone it would be because if they don’t go it’s not worth me going either as their my favourite.

I think it sounds nice of her. Either she is checking you're ok to come or she would really like you there. She obviously thinks highly of you

I would say she messages everyone in the group individually. Some people like to know exactly who is coming to an event, (and some will then use this to decide if they're going to bother going or not..)

Does she not turn up when you say you’re going then?

If she asks you if you're going, just answer why are you asking me as I've already said on the group chat that I'm going?

I'd imagine it's because she hopes you'll be there and she'll feel much more comfortable if you are.

I'm very good at appearing confident and sociable, but I'm really not. If there's a group event coming up, I can be awake half the night wondering if the people I really like are going to be there, who am I going to talk to if they're not. You wouldn't know it the next day when I'm actually there but I'm a bundle of nerves under the surface.

Why?

What's wrong with being friends with other mum's?

Sounds like she really wants you to come.

I bet she's messaging everyone. Likes to be in the know 😂