Living alone and wfh: how to return to office?

[BedRot]

I had another thread about how living alone and wfh since the pandemic has impacted my mental health. The replies helped me see that I am not mad to find it really difficult and I have resolved to find a new role back in an office setting (or at least hybrid).

The backstory is that I left a job I loved during the pandemic due to bullying, which has been followed by 2 years wfh in a job I don’t like and where I feel my mental health has really declined. I have also gained a lot of weight and become perimenopausal which has impacted my ability to focus and causes me to feel tired and demotivated.

Because of all this the idea of returning to an office feels like a big hill to climb. I anticipate it will take a few months to find a new role. What could I be doing behind the scenes to prepare for a return to an office from a confidence point of view?

On the positive side, I have already started a wardrobe overhaul and am doing a trial of HRT, which seems to be helping with brain fog and overall motivation, thank goodness.

Once you've been there a month it will be easier

I don't know if you're the same as me but my WFH clothes are really casual - just joggers and jumpers. If you're the same could you decide 3 days a week you'll get up a bit earlier and dress as if you're going into the office? You could even prepare a lunch box for those days.

I've found that actually going in isn't as big a deal as I thought it would be, it was more the thought of it that was exhausting/intimidating, the reality has been fine.

Looks like you are taking control which is great...it will get to be a routine. Make sure the first in office days feel like a treat...buy a nice coffee enjoy dressing up.

As a peri woman exercise even a good walk has done wonders for me physically and mentally

Go out for a walk every lunch time, 45mins brisk walk. Getting your body moving and fresh air will help with your motivation.

I like the idea about getting up a bit earlier and getting ready as if you were going into the office too.

Good luck. Onwards and upwards! Noone cares about.your weight aside from you but I do Hooe you feel healthier and more confident in yourself soon. Pandemic was a bugger for throwing us off track. I am also team wfOffice!

Thank you all! I can’t tell you how helpful I’m finding it to be reassured I’m not mad and that I can just solve my way out of this. I’ve done a lot of navel gazing and finding fault with myself during this time (why did I ‘let’ myself be bullied, etc.) but taking practical steps forward is beginning to feel so much more achievable.

I really like the idea of implementing an office routine whilst still at home. I’m one of those people who can’t remember how on earth I used to commute into London every day like it was no big deal!

PS pp on the other thread asked whether I have had counselling for the bullying, and I have. It was helpful but now I think I won’t move forwards unless I actually make substantive change, swim.

Get used to getting up at the time you’ll need to leave every morning. Do a few trial runs with the journey. Go outside every day. Wardrobe overhaul sounds good (though lots of offices are very casual now!) - don’t buy too many new clothes until you see what the dress code is. If you’ve got something smart for interviews that’s a good start. Batch cooking for quick meals when you start.
You will quickly get used to being back in the office. Good luck with job hunting.

Yes, good luck with it. Sounds like you've really been through it.

I was bullied at work over 10 years ago and it crippled me. I'm not the same person even now so you've done so well to come so far.

I wonder if getting up, showering, getting ready (even if it's at home casual things), having a more work day at work routine might help? And go outside every day even if it's a walk or going to the store. Slowly push yourself to do more and you'll be ready for a hybrid role.

It's so great you are tacking this head on!

I’m not saying you should do a bad job in your current role but if you don’t enjoy it and are considering leaving you could frame it that you are trying to turn your feelings around about your current role and change up your daily routine. Go for a morning walk replicating the commute, leave your house at lunchtime, take regular breaks.

Get a routine, I still wake up early when wfh (not as early as the office day as that's 5am so I do 6am), I then try to go to the gym before I start work. This replaces my commute. I also try and get out at lunchtime for some fresh air. Then back to work until 5/5.30pm.

I also always get dressed, no sloppy joggers (they're saved for Sunday afternoon after my gym session), so I'll put jeans on, also do my make up and hair.

I was made redundant from a job where I worked from home 3 days a week. I'm now in a job where for the first few months I'm going to the office every day as it would be very hard to learn from home. The month before I started, I started getting up earlier as I'd had 3 months not working. I also sorted my wardrobe and also my bag to take me lunch and everything I needed. It's taken a bit of getting used to but I love the commute and listening to audiobooks

Thanks so much everyone, these ideas are helping me to get inspired. I love the idea of a kind of ‘mock’ routine whilst wfh and also using some of these simple ideas as baby steps for moving forward. I spend so much time alone these days that sometimes even a coffee with a good friend feels like a minor shell shock to the system. I basically feel like I never came out of down when the rest of the world moved on!

@user1471538283 so sorry to hear about your experience. It’s a horrible thing to go through and I hope you can continue to move forwards

*lockdown