To book a travel lodge and just go?

[Wideawakebaby]

I have barely slept all week and no one has noticed. The baby is wide awake and won’t sleep for hours now and when she does I might get a couple of hours before the first one wakes. Husband downstairs asleep oblivious. I’m falling apart and no one gives a shit.

Can you wake your husband up - does he know you've had no sleep all week? If you can get him up, can you put some earplugs in, go to bed and leave him to it?

All he’ll do is say oh poor mummy and feel my backside so I don’t think he’ll be much help.

Wake your DH up and tell him you need sleep. Don’t let him grope you, hand him baby and go to bed. I remember those days well with DS1. Now due DC2 any day now and have very much put my foot down with my DH as I also spent many nights wide awake with baby and both of us in tears! You need a good sleep OP, life is hard enough without!

It is but yeah … she might actually be slowly going to sleep now. She’s been awake since quarter to midnight and woke once before that. Has barely fed today.

I am just so so fucking tired and then the next day I never get a break. It’s just so exhausting and relentless. I know I’m moaning sorry.

What @Mammma91 said. Make it clear you are not going to be patronised and fobbed off and you are not an object to be groped on his whim.

But I am, sigh. Just a giant pair of tits and a vagina. Lovely isn’t it. Ah well.

Could you book a hotel for next weekend - a proper two night break that you can really enjoy?

Realistically no. It would be lovely but no. Ignore me, I’m just in a really bad place at the moment. This baby is crying all the time and her brother has gone feral and I’m not coping brilliantly.

It sounds like your husband has some major stepping up to do - he should be supporting you, you may be in a bad place but you shouldn't be in it by yourself!

When you say she has barely fed today, what do you mean?
How old is she, and your DS?

Are you getting 0 support from your partner?

Well - what do you mean, what do I mean? Sorry, I don’t want to sound awkward, I just genuinely don’t get what’s confusing about that statement. She’s nearly 8 months.

She’s back in her cot, please god let her have a few hours.

Sorry I was unsure whether she might be ill.

Crossing fingers your daughter will sleep now and that you can get your head down too . I think you need to be having a serious talk with your husband tomorrow as it isn't a fair or viable situation for him to opt out of his share of sleepless nights.

Nope awake

Is she happily awake or awake and crying?

Crying / whimpering. Ironically through tiredness. The other one is awake now. FML!

and you thought it was a/ good idea to have a child with this twat because...?

Because I wanted children. I still do. I’m not going to be up all night forever just feels like it.

That's not a very helpful comment - I doubt OP is telepathic, she couldn't foresee how he'd behave in this scenario.

You need to tell him all this.

And that you love and need your sleep just as much as he does. And if you don’t get it that you WILL have to bugger off to a travel lodge for at least 2 nights.

Oof I remember this time, it’s horrendous. I promise it gets easier… I wish I could help you out and let you get some sleep. Hugs.

The thing with DH is pretty much that any change would mean such a massive effort on my part it wouldn’t achieve anything. So say I go downstairs and I demand he has the baby and hand baby over and go to sleep … ok but by the time we’ve had that conversation she has gone back to sleep anyway. It’s just not worth it. Anyway let’s hope she sleeps now! It’s not been the best week, she has a cold and is teething.

Lack of sleep is horrible. Even if you learn to fall asleep quickly (and there are things that can help with this) you sometimes can't because you know it will be disturbed "sometime shortly" so why bother. I had two babies in a year, breastfed the first (was hard, he was an hour off an hour on some days/nights) and got him on the bottle before I had the second but he still wasn't a good sleeper, tried to breastfeed the second but chucked the towel in after two weeks as I was literally up most of the night with one or the other and had to go to work. I'm not sure if this is your situation, but changing to bottle saved my sanity because I would insist that I went to bed with the first, and my OH would do a "last bottle" with my second, then I would at least have a couple of hours. Bottle fed my 3rd and 4th and found it easier because at least you know what they are getting. People go on about how BF is "best" giving them immune systems and so on (and I know this is MUMSNET, so of course, backlash expected) but "best" for me was getting some sleep, and later years have proved that it was all garbage anyway in my experience (the 4th is the "sturdiest", never experiencing a days illness) and both 3rd and 4th went down to sleep better than the first two. Obv, not sure if this is your situation, but hoping it might help. I wish you luck and some sleep xxx

I think I’ve given up. I may as well just accept I’m not sleeping tonight.

Your biggest problem is your husband, he sounds vile. The groping would have me never wanting to have sex with him ever again.