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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Unbearable smell in friends house

153 replies

kcchiefette · 02/03/2024 19:14

My friend had to go away for the day (a drive about 2 hours away) and asked me to check on hIs cats during the day.

I have been up a fair few times and the house is a bit messy as you can imagine a single man's house to be.

Anyhow, the last time I was up for a visit, the smell of amonia was dreadful from the litter trays. They were full, the cats had started flicking their poo out and playing with it on the floor. I had to leave after half an hour because I was getting a headache and the next day I felt really sick as well.

I called up today, and the smell is there again, only worse. The litter trays are full again and the smell was so intense, I had to put my jumper over my nose to mask the smell. I checked on the cats, left them food and left. Friend will be back 8pm.

For those that have cats, I am assuming this is not normal?

I have never owned cats so dont know much but anybody else's house who has owned them has never had this smell and I am assuming litter trays need to be cleared out at least once a day?

How do I approach this with my friend? I dont want to go up there again to visit if the house will be smelling so badly of amonia and making me feel unwell.

OP posts:
Validus · 02/03/2024 19:35

I’d just be blunt with him and say you noticed that the trays were overflowing and the house smells quite bad. Is everything ok?

Original poster
kcchiefette · 02/03/2024 19:36

hollyandivyknickers · 02/03/2024 19:34

OP I think you did the right thing just feeding them as told.

I wonder if he was hoping you’d clean them all out? To save him a job.

I didnt have the time to start cleaning it all out and scrubbing boxes down. I had to pick up my own child from his dads and tend to my own dog at home unfortunately.

If I had more time I would have just chucked it all out and cleaned, and went to shop for more litter.

OP posts:
Treehuggingmutherfunkin · 02/03/2024 19:37

Probably their diet

Treehuggingmutherfunkin · 02/03/2024 19:38

Also the wood chip litter Is best for smells I find. When they pee it just smells like saw dust

Cheeesus · 02/03/2024 19:38

WellThisIsFun1 · 02/03/2024 19:34

All poops scooped ASAP and entire trays changed every three days (or sooner if there's been a lot of wees and the litter is looking tired).

Poor puss cats

Yes, this sounds about right, plus also one tray per cat.

How to change - empty it into a bin bag that will go into the landfill bin. Scrape off as much as you can using the inside of the bag.

Then what you do kind of depends. I’d have scraped off almost all, so would use boiling water and washing up liquid for the rest and empty into the back of a stony bit of garden if you have access to outside.

WiddlinDiddlin · 02/03/2024 19:39

I'd say 'that is the last time I check in on your cats unless you start cleaning litter trays out every day. The smell in your house was eyewatering, because you left the litter trays with days worth of wee and poo in them, it's nasty for people and it's horribly unpleasant for your cats too!'

But I do not have friends who would mistreat animals in this way in the first place and yes, leaving cats with only dirty trays to use is mistreatment, it can cause some major behavioural issues, cats want to crap and piss somewhere clean!

Original poster
kcchiefette · 02/03/2024 19:41

Looks like I will need to have a very blunt conversation as its also about the welfare of the cats isnt it?

I just dont know how anyone can live in a house that smells that bad, as my nostrils and eyes were burning and my head ached and that was 10 minutes!

I would happily help if it was a MH thing and go down every now and then to help but its really up to said friend isnt it?

OP posts:
Yokaiwatch · 02/03/2024 19:41

@kcchiefette i think you have had a hard time from some people for not cleaning the trays. You expected to pop in and feed them not do a complete clean.

If I had the time I would have cleaned the trays and played with the cats but I also would have wondered if he had left it for me to do….

I would definitely speak to him, polite but firm and tell him straight. The cats deserve a good dad that will treat them well. Also maybe you could send him a link to a self-cleaning cat tray for sale?

CheeseSandwichRiskAssessment · 02/03/2024 19:42

That's animal abuse. Very odd he cares enough about the cats that he can't leave them alone for 12 hours, but never cleans the box? It's dogs you can't leave all day and who don't have boxes, cats are the opposite...

Original poster
kcchiefette · 02/03/2024 19:43

Yokaiwatch · 02/03/2024 19:41

@kcchiefette i think you have had a hard time from some people for not cleaning the trays. You expected to pop in and feed them not do a complete clean.

If I had the time I would have cleaned the trays and played with the cats but I also would have wondered if he had left it for me to do….

I would definitely speak to him, polite but firm and tell him straight. The cats deserve a good dad that will treat them well. Also maybe you could send him a link to a self-cleaning cat tray for sale?

Yep - I have never owned cats so I have literally no clue! Even if it was normal or not, even though I know the smell is definitely not!

You dont want to interfere either with what you have been asked to do in someone else's house. If that makes sense?

OP posts:
NotTerfNorCis · 02/03/2024 19:46

I had a cat stay with me a few years ago. Very cute cat. Did a huge stinky poo in his litter tray. I very nearly threw up disposing of it. So yes, the poo of just one cat can be almost unbearably smelly.

Original poster
kcchiefette · 02/03/2024 19:50

NotTerfNorCis · 02/03/2024 19:46

I had a cat stay with me a few years ago. Very cute cat. Did a huge stinky poo in his litter tray. I very nearly threw up disposing of it. So yes, the poo of just one cat can be almost unbearably smelly.

I had a large breed of dog and a cats mess is far worse than my dogs mess!

OP posts:
Createausername1970 · 02/03/2024 19:50

We kept the litter tray in the downstairs loo and every time I spotted a poo, I scooped it out and flushed it away. The litter was completely changed every 4 or 5 days.

What you describe is gross and unfair to the cats. They are clean animals - hence their use of a tray - but if this becomes too dirty for them there is a big risk they will find their own spots to go.

CheeseSandwichRiskAssessment · 02/03/2024 19:54

Maybe he was hoping you would do the box which is why he asked you to look in unnecessarily 🤔In any event no point in cleaning it, the box will need to be thrown away because at that level I'm sure the ammonia will have penetrated the plastic.

For your questions, no it's not normal to smell. Ammonia smell is urine not poo, agree with PPs they might be unneutered males if the smell is really awful, which he'll have to rectify as well to be a responsible owner.

Cats are very clean animals and hate a messy box. They also don't poo every day necessarily so a box full of it would be easily from a week or two.

I would lose respect and reconsider the friendship.

DeedlessIndeed · 02/03/2024 19:55

How does he even cope with the smell.
Currently our cats are being kept indoors. DH works away and I'm pregnant, so we pay for someone to come in every other day and do a full litter box clean out and refesh.

I'd usually scoop after every visit, so i dont think our set up is perfect at present but it is better than the alternatives. They do not smell nice by the end of the day - how on earth is he coping with that smell 24/7 😳

Princessfluffy · 02/03/2024 20:01

If I was checking on the cats to me that means sorting the litter trays as well as feeding them. If they have clumping litter you rake through it and take out the clumps (this will be both pee & poo) tie it up in a poo bag like you'd use for dogs and put into the outside bin. The litter itself lasts for a while between top ups.

We have two cats and do this 2 or 3 times a day and they have 2 trays.

SaturdayGiraffe · 02/03/2024 20:02

Cats are naturally very clean animals and hate having a smell on them. (They are prey as well as predators.)
He should be paying someone to come in minimum every second day to care for them.
It speaks volumes to me about someone who doesn’t care for their pets. I would question the friendship.
Also, Cat’s Best Smart Pellets are top.

Original poster
kcchiefette · 02/03/2024 20:04

Princessfluffy · 02/03/2024 20:01

If I was checking on the cats to me that means sorting the litter trays as well as feeding them. If they have clumping litter you rake through it and take out the clumps (this will be both pee & poo) tie it up in a poo bag like you'd use for dogs and put into the outside bin. The litter itself lasts for a while between top ups.

We have two cats and do this 2 or 3 times a day and they have 2 trays.

I had asked about litter etc but he said nope it should be grand as he will be sorting that this evening.

OP posts:
Ponoka7 · 02/03/2024 20:08

He might have gone nose blind. He will smell it with being away. Male cats can stink before they are neutered. Just explain that you didn't know were the litter was to clean them and see what he says.

ohtowinthelottery · 02/03/2024 20:15

I sometimes pop in to look after a friend's 3 cats. They are indoor cats. The litter trays are emptied out every day, sprayed with some sort of special disinfectant type spray, wiped with kitchen roll and then refilled with fresh litter.

AfterTheWatershed · 02/03/2024 20:21

Yes, cat shit smells very bad but they normally kick the litter over it which stops it smelling so bad. Obviously not possible if the tray is heavily used already.

I clean my litter tray every couple of days, tbh I’m surprised your friends cats are using the tray if it’s dirty. I have previously had a house cat and she would shit on the floor by the tray if I didn’t change the litter daily. Cost me a fortune in litter, the cats I have now will go outside if the weather suits so I don’t need to change the litter every day. In my experience cats are fastidious about having a clean toilet.

NotQuiteNorma · 02/03/2024 20:22

Aquamarine1029 · 02/03/2024 19:25

It's time for brutal honesty, because the living conditions for those poor cats is absolutely reprehensible. Can you even imagine how those poor animals are suffering due to the filth and smell? They probably are all suffering from respiratory illness.

I wouldn't even attempt to be "gentle." He needs a massive wake up call.

Sorry, but this ∆. He needs a good kick up the backside or to not have cats full stop if he can't be bothered to keep the trays clean.

SometimesIchangemyname · 02/03/2024 20:30

Lazy ignorant bastard.
cats trapped indoors. Filthy litter trays. I bet he says he’s a cat lover too.
Out of interest what does he feed them. Cheap supermarket whiskas or Felix shit I expect. Poor cats. Yes I’m a cat lover. Mine has quality food, access to the outdoors and clean litter daily. It’s the minimum obligation to the animal.

TraitorsGate · 02/03/2024 20:42

Cats hate being dirty, they havevery sensitive noses, imagine what it's like for them, they Bury their waste to cover up the smell. If its strong ammonia I bet they are males, it must burn their skin too, poor things.

Atethehalloweenchocs · 02/03/2024 21:08

I pick out the solid waste whenever it needs doing - can be a few times a day - empty, scrub the trays and change the litter every 7 - 10 days depending on when i think it needs to be done. You can smell it sometimes, but that just means it is time to change the litter. It is not nice for the cats to go into a dirty box - mine refuse and will pee on the doormat if it is not kept clean.