My cousin is getting married later this year. It’s not the first time around for either her or the groom, so they’d originally planned a small affair with immediate family only. However, their dream venue became available after a cancellation for a good price, so they’ve upscaled things.
My parents, sister and I are only invited to the evening do. I personally am fine with this, although my aunt (MoB) was mortified. My cousin pointed out that her fiancé has five aunts and uncles and that, if you include their partners, kids and their partners, you’re looking at 20 extra guests. I completely get this - weddings are an expensive business, and that many extra guests is a big cost (and the alternative is singling out one side).
The issue is, my parents really aren’t fussed by the evening do. Like me, they understand the rationale, but my dad in particular hates loud music and crowds. He’d have probably happily gone to the ceremony and reception, but left the evening do to the “youngsters”. My mum isn’t that keen to go if my dad doesn’t. In turn, my sister isn’t that fussed about it if my parents don’t go!
I'd like to go, but it starts to look a bit weird if it’s only me. I’m single, so I’d be going on my own - and while I’ll obviously know people there (my aunt and uncle, cousin’s siblings and kids etc.) I’d be the only family member arriving for the evening only. It sort of underlines that I didn’t get a full day invite, whereas if my whole family were going, it would be more like the extended family arriving (if that makes sense?).
The other issue is, my parents only live half an hour from the venue, whereas I live three hours away. I can’t see the point in paying for a hotel when I could get a cab back to my parents’ house, but it also underlines their absence - if people ask where I’m staying, they’re bound to ask why my parents didn’t come (and “they couldn’t be arsed” doesn’t sound great!)
Do I just send a nice card with a voucher and say I have a prior commitment?