I've read a few threads here about children like that. The children I am referring to are often over 18 years of age and staying at home in their 20's 30's etc and treat the home and you like shit
I've seen for my own eyes similar adult children in a relative's home.
The adults/children I am referring to and their behaviour or lack of it is not a one-off but a day-in, day-out event.
These children often assume you own them a roof over their head, make food for them and possibly the washing of clothing. They will often blame you everything that has gone wrong in their life and is going wrong on you, unfairly so.
These children often are ok as long as you agree with them but say no or ask a question they don't like, be preapred for a backlash, swearing, cursing etc.
The same lot will tell anyone and everyone about how nasty you have been to them. These children will complain to family/cousins/relatives etc and along the way, meet one or two that are winding them up.
You've had enough, you want them to fuck off out of the house. They won't go. Lock them out with more than a fair warning, they will make threats to take their own life and rant and swear at you for making their life miserable as well as their health
They make you life in your own home very miserable and make you ill and all this in the home you have worked hard to pay for, house them, and house them free of charge. God forbid if they had paid something towards their keep at one time or another, they will exacerbate the figures and tell you that you are making a profit from them.
They may tell you that you won't dare kick them out as it will cause embarrassment
They will tell half of the story to your family/siblings etc where you have shouted at them/etc.
Its happening more and more often
The best thing to do is, give them fair warning to leave and often they wont, so kick them out. No physical force should be used, just change the locks or bolt the doors. Easier said than done.
If something happened to your child when you kicked them out, you will regret it for the rest of your life. However, most manage and do become better people and often they will respect you as they should have in the first place.
We've been lucky with our kids but have seen first-hand re on sibling have two children like that, one male other female. The situation became worse during covid when they were at home working from home. The children stayed working from home. According to my siblings, their children it easy at home and not having to dealing with some awful people at work so took it out on them. Both were kicked out - given notice but left several months after - parents helped them with a deposit - a year on, they got on with their parents very well,
Some may even dictate to you who you can have in your own home as they may have fallen out with them
They may accuse you of not being fair to them but had other sibling/s as your favourites when you did not.
IMO, staying together in one home as they get older often over the age of 22ish, things can go wrong. Its hard, but at times kicking them out and telling them they are welcome back once they have modified their behaviour is the best way forward IMO
Btw, - if your nasty, adult children get other family involved - dont talk about it as some want to see a soap opera. Just tell them to believe what they want to believe politely as they should know you pretty well and not falling for the total bS spouted by your adult child.
AIBU to think like this? (thankfully, we have been lucky and told our children early on, "Get a property, you are free to stay here but when you get married or financially settled, move out and they all did before getting married)
Parents are not always perfect but in the eyes of some adult children, some parents are bastards when they are clearly not
One is never out of the woods as then you have to think about how your GC may turn out