Babysitting SIL’s kids

[Igglewriggle]

My SIL is a CF. Last week when we saw her SIL and MIL, they strongly I should buy MIL a car. We never see her, her partner or MIL unless they want something, so I will admit interactions with them grate me. Last night SIL texted DH casually to ask for some babysitting for their kids (7 and 3) next Sunday. He should have clarified the time before he said yes but the way it was put indicates that there was no reason he should have assumed that it would be for eight hours starting at 8 am. When he even implied that was quite early he was just told to suck it up because we would be up anyway.

Our life is not 9-5. we have a business that takes us away a lot and my DM is very ill which is extremely stressful (and why they are not wrongly making assumptions about money coming down the line hence the business with the car which will only be the start).

Of course on this SIL has made no attempt to engage with me on it (and no she has a hide of leather so she is happy to if she thinks she’ll get something, hence she came to me about the car) and I have only been given the most basic information about this arrangement by DH so would it be unreasonable for me to just piss off to the spa and leave DH to it?

That’e exactly what I would be doing.

Yep, your DH is an idiot for agreeing to it without asking about timings.

Tell him he can either call SIL and say he can’t help or he can babysit on his own because you won’t be around.

On your point about SIL not involving you, I think that’s fine, it’s better she asks her brother rather than bother you.

Absolutely head off to the spa.

YANBU - go to the spa. You didn’t say yes to babysitting, he did

Have I read this right... your SIL thinks you should buy your MIL a car as your own DM is in bad health and they expect you to receive an inheritance in the near future???

If so that is disgusting.
Hmmmm I'd be tempted to bail on BS but unless my partner is completely obtuse about his family I would support him but would make a point of saying you have an appointment at 9 so you'll meet them later and let him do a couple hrs solo

Sorry - have I got this right - they have asked you to buy them a car and made hints about further purchases because they think you’ll get an inheritance from your mother who is currently very ill?
I mean, that is so awful, it’s hard to even know where to start.
And yes, I would definitely absent myself from the babysitting.

I would be going low contact with such awful people. Grabby and entitled. The car comments would have pushed me over the edge. Are they waiting for your mum to die?

Yeah I am pretty lucky regarding family background so some stuff has very obviously come down the line and they have always thought it’s something that should be shared with them.

Yes, a figure for contribution was given with MIL even saying when I told her that she was lucky that she could do it herself so she needn’t worry about having to go basic her response was “well I could or I could ask my children” (and history has shown she would never ask SIL so she meant us).

They are awful. Go to the spa every time your DH sees them.

Thing is I know where this going. Our youngest will be in the same year at school as theirs and the very expensive boarding school our oldest two go, which our youngest will join as a day pupil next year, is in their area but they couldn’t afford to do it though the amount I hear about the importance of education is interesting…

Anyway, our youngest has no interest in their youngest but they are suddenly keen to create ‘a real bond’. And a day of ‘cousins being together’ kicks that off nicely. So how I can remove my youngest from this toxic situation too?

Next Sunday is next weekend? Which is Mother's Day? Surely not???

If DH agreed to it, he can do it. I would book myself into a spa day. He can be a babysitter if he's such a people pleaser.

They sound awful. I'm sorry you have to deal with them. You will have to stay strong and keep boundaries firm. Your poor mum will want her money spent on you and your children, not for buying cars for in laws.

Sounds like your DH has trouble saying no, so I hope only you have access to your family’s wealth, otherwise he might pay for SIL’s kid’s private education.

If it's mother's day you need to get dh to say he can't babysit as it's mother's day, he didn't realise and you all have plans.
Personally I wouldn't do anything for these people, they sound horrendous.
Your Mil thinks she's getting a car through the passing of your DM?
Outrageous.
Sil asks your dh to babysit knowing it'll default to you?
As for inflicting her DC on your DC, that's a big fat nope!

Mother’s Day and they’re dumping their kids on you for the day!

It's Mother's Day, all the more reason to head to a SPA and leave your DH to look after ALL the kids.

So SIL has asked your DH to babysit on MD, is dhe taking MIL out somewhere?
The inheritance stuff is terrible and should be shut down. Butcs brother babysitting his DN's, if he chooses to, is normal in my world. Cousins gaving relationships is perfectly usual as well. So is DH having all the kids?

I never get asked to babysit in my family because they all know my answer.
A very blunt Fuck off no way not happening.
Your kids you look after them.

Take your youngest out for the day on Sunday. That way you aren't baby sitting and your child avoids the bonding session.

Ah Just be week after so no such excuse annoyingly. Regards Mother’s Day DH knows that would never have flown and he would never have said yes. They have annoyingly chosen a weekend where there is nothing official in the diary