To be a bit cross at friend ?

[Chillywilly10]

Very close friends for about 20 years. We speak almost every day. Both have DC aged 10-14. We live in same street. Friend forgot my DC birthday. When it's her DC birthday I make sure I message her on the day to wish her DC happy birthday etc.i make sure the card/ gift is with her to give on the day. IMO I feel (from previous behaviours) that she expects all her friends to wake up and wish her DC happy birthday as a priority and then later ask all about her DCs day etc. I reminded her it's my DC birthday coming up, by her reaction she had clearly forgotten. On the day she said nothing. She sent me our usual "hi how are you " type message. No happy birthday message or anything. Until i sent her a birthday pic of DC with balloons etc late eve and then she said happy birthday and a nice message. My DC birthday is not her priority, I totally get that and don't expect it to be. But the way she expects everyone else to rally around for her DC birthday, it's made me a bit cross that she forgot my DC birthday.

Aibu to be a bit peed off ?

I think it’s strange that there’s this expectation to drop off a present for her dc so they have it ready for their birthday.
Maybe it’s time to just send a nice message to her children later in the day and to stop buying gifts.

I don’t think her forgetting is that big of a deal really. I don’t expect friends to message me to say happy birthday on my children’s birthdays and I don’t do it for my friends beyond the first birthday

And maybe she had a lot going on today/this week

I think it's probably time to put a stop to the present buying to be honest.

I agree with @Peekaboobo .

I’d be annoyed too but I’m an organised person, who always likes to get the recipient their card and/or gift ready for their birthday. The whole messaging and gushing about their birthday is a bit OTT to me. You’ve already acknowledged it in the traditional way. Just let it go. It’s not worth ruining 20 years of friendship over :)

I think for me, it's the fact that she expects everyone to make a huge fuss to recognise her DC birthday. I feel like she expects it be their first thought of the day to wish happy birthday to her DC. I can't go into too much detail on this aspect as it could be outting. But there is def an expectation from her

It’s lazy of her. I bet she wouldn’t like it if you completely forgot and had to be reminded. Sounds like she’s used to the status quo being you = thoughtful, her = la la la, doing her own thing, can’t be relied upon.

You either need to tell her exactly how you feel about it, in a measured and non combative way, or you need to stop remembering her DC’s birthdays and when inevitably questioned, tell her why.