I'm feeling unreasonable as I want my boyfriend to stay for funeral

[ChimneySweepLiverpool]

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5017611-wanting-to-take-a-pause-because-bf-cant-come-to-funeral?page=7&reply=133412307

Hi all,

That was my previous thread about how my boyfriend can't come to sisters funeral. Everyone was very helpful/realistic with me. It's the night before my partner leaves for 10 days for work and I am struggling. I am feeling pretty run down and every insensible part of me wants me to ask him to stay. He has been very kind but I'm feeling quite emotional and would love him to stay. Tell me it would be unreasonable/unfair for me to ask him to stay.

Yes you would still be unreasonable. Unsure why you need a new thread.

i understand that you would like him to stay but if he has other commitments like work then he needs to stick to those.
Do you have family around to offer support?

Nothing in your posts describes a relationship where he would be expected to drop everything and come stay with you during a bereavement. It’s just a few posts though, perhaps the relationship is more cemented than is coming through.

I thought you had decided not to see him till after the funeral!
A lot of people can't make a partners relatives funeral as has to be a close relation to get time off. He already told you he couldn't stay for it.

A lot of people sadly don't even get leave for their own relatives funeral.

I am really sorry for your loss. You are obviously grieving so much and it's natural to want comfort from a boyfriend or partner.

It's so sad that they can't be there for you, but from what you said previously he did ask for the time off but it wasn't granted. Unfortunately this is what happens, it's shit but has to be endured.

So,yes, it would be unfair of you to ask him to stay when you know he can't. Please don't pile more guilt on him. He sounds a nice guy from what you have said.

Be brave - let him go off on his work trip without causing him anymore guilt than he probably feels already - and looking forward to being back with you. Don't let him go off feeling cross because you argued, feeling more guilt ridden, and not looking forward to getting back in case it's more of the same.

You will get through it and he will back to comfort you soon 💐