To rethink daughter moving out for uni

[Ledad]

She is 18 years old so an adult, she is planning to move out for uni and will be 19 by then. She is legally obliged to make her own decisions but today, she saw a video on facebook if you put your phone in the microwave it will charge up to 100 percent, she actually thought it was real and tried it. Luckily her brother ran in and stopped her or she would have burned the house down, if she was in uni accomdation now she could have done it. I would be funding some uni stuff so if i wanted i can just change my mind, Im having thoughts of that after seeing this tbh.

Oh quite a few are judging by my circle.

At least if she were at University it's not the OP's house she would be burning down! Reading about many of these pre-Uni teenagers I would be glad to have them out of my house.

A certain uni student I know thought washing up liquid was a suitable substitute for dishwasher tabs.

I remember living with a guy with a degree in chemistry while we were studying as post-grads at Cambridge. He couldn’t get the (gas) oven to light, so stuck his head inside to investigate. So, I guess many people have moments of utter stupidity.

However, she has until September to learn about the practical skills of living. I thought DS would die of scurvy or be smothered in his sleep by a falling pile of unwashed pants. Actually, he’s becoming very adept at looking after himself: cooking, budgeting and surviving quite happily.

Well you have until September to help her develop some survival skills!
She's going to leave home at some point, so she will have to learn.
My son is at Uni, he stopped a mate putting a pizza in the oven with the cellophane and base still on it the other day...

They have to learn somehow. Rather a scummy student house gets burned down than yours, lol. Of course I'm joking.

But seriously I have seen students do some daft arse things, they all lived to tell the tale. If she can't handle it she can say so and move back home but give her a chance.

Presumably she knows what she did with her phone was idiotic, and that she has to pay for a new one herself? And new microwave if necessary.

What's the phrase...at 16 you think you know everything, at 18 you know you know everything, at 21 you realise you know nothing.

We all do random and dappy things and make silly mistakes at that age (and later!). And it's far from the worse thing she could have done. I know 18 year olds making far worse.mistakes at the moment.

I still cringe at a dangerous and stupid mistake I made in my early twenties. It was so idiotic and I was very lucky nothing bad happened. And usually I'm fairly sensible! I just didn't think.

At what point would you let her move out then? What would be your criteria?

Just have a word with her about how a lot of internet content is false.

If you are lucky you will still have a microwave.

Im not sure keeping her home is the best solution. Tell your daughter that she should always double check via google or ask someone she trusts before doing something she reads about online. She could cause herself and others serious harm if she doesn't become a little more circumspect.
At least it wasn't a pet hamster.

She does sound quite vulnerable and I completely understand your concerns.

But I think moving out for uni will be really good for her.

She needs to make mistakes in order to learn from them and working things out and learning for yourself is what makes you independent.

This has already taught her that she shouldn’t believe everything on the internet and she has learnt a lesson.

I would definitely be encouraging her moving out.

Is she going into halls?

No they are not!

Jesus that's such a ridiculous thing to do.

This reminds me of something I heard on a podcast recently.

Uni son texting mum “how do I wash a t shirt”
mum replied “well what does it say on it”
son “the foo fighters” 🤣🤣🤣

This is the upshot of all the threads on here with parents not expecting their children to lift a finger when they’re at home. Their precious offspring are “only young once” and should be waited on hand and foot 🙄.

Teach them some bloody life skills while they’re at home and pack them off to uni knowing they can cook, do laundry and have some basic understanding of budget management. It’s not bloody rocket science 🤷‍♀️.

I think going away to university is a very good idea. Mistakes will be made, but it is an essential part of growing up. Parents should be there for back up, but not for shielding them from learning about real life.

She tried to microwave her phone? Wow.

Is she lacking in common sense/logic in other ways?

I heard that too - and laughed a lot.

I love that the family's go to answer for any similar question is now just "Foo Fighters".

A girl I know, good solid oxbridge candidate, turned up with burns to her neck after she used her hair straighteners to press the collar of her cadet shirt - while she was wearing it! Prior to that, I thought she was quite a bright girl...

My SN child knows not to do stuff that daft. He knows no metal in the microwave too. It helps that he doesn't watch TikTok that circulates lots of stupid and dangerous trends.

My friend bought her DS two sets of bedding. When she took him she made the bed up for him. They popped over to visit him en route to somewhere else over 6 weeks later and found he hadn't changed the bedding once. She asked him why not. He said he didn't think it would dry in time to go back onto his bed. She asked why he didn't use the second set. He replied he thought that was for when he'd worn the first set out. He was not joking either. No common sense.

@Octavia64

JFC No they're not. Even the most worrying teen I know wouldn't do that.

Years ago when DD started uni I bought her a really good set of nonstick saucepans because she's a keen cook. She was out one day and some numb skull borrowed one of her pans because she had cleaned hers and cooked his meal but let it stick to the bottom of the pan as he wondered away whilst it was on the heat and then used a metal spatula and scratched off the non stick. She was furious with him.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

@missmollygreen

oh the irony

@DragonGypsyDoris

on what basis are you stating that so firmly??

I think MAY is the word you & the OP both need to avail yourselves of.