To leave him over this..

[sportycrew2006]

Been with DP 10 years and have a 2 year old together.

I had a feeling something wasn't right and rightly or wrongly I checked his phone.
He's been messaging a girl I kind of know and it's clear he's slept with her at some point years ago. He mentions how they went back to a club after which shut before we were together which makes me assume it was before we met. He's been saying how it was great and the best he's ever had, going into intimate detail. She's married now and just replies by saying yes to be young again, or just laughs it off. So it's clearly him that's trying to bring it up more than her.

I've not mentioned it to him yet. What would you do?

Don't bother messaging her. You have enough to confront him with. He's clearly got one foot out the door and is looking for the greener grass. Prick.

No wonder there are so many single parents? I'd rather be a single parent with respect for myself and my worth than knowingly stay with someone who is getting pissed and texting an old shag saying she's the best he's ever had! Maybe a couple of people on here need to raise their bar.

I'd rather be a single parent than put up with a disgusting, disrespectful man being snappy with me and being miserable in the relationship because he's messaging another woman about sex.

But maybe I have higher standards...

How can you even contemplate leaving him when you haven't even spoken to him yet!? Relationships require communication?

You need to discuss this with him. It's some one sided flirty messages discussing the past.

You could bring it up by saying you found one of your exes on FB and were wondering what he was up to nowadays. Then ask if he ever wonders what happened to his exes or if he is in touch with any.

I couldn't disagree more.

Cheating is not an accident or mistake. Its a deliberate act which destroys lives. Personally I think it's a good thing that more women know their worth and won't put up with being treated so badly.

I would leave yes. Without hesitation. You deserve and will enjoy a much better relationship in the future.

I mean, this is repeated deceitful, disrespectful behaviour towards his long term partner and mother of his child, which speaks to poor moral character rather than a lapse in judgment.

He hasn't asked for forgiveness and he hasn't felt he's needed it, as demonstrated by the fact he's continued to repeat the same behaviour over and over again.

Either he knows it's wrong and doesn't care or he doesn't think it's really that wrong because [whatever self-justifying reasons he's told himself].

Either way he's inadequate as a partner because he has insufficiently developed morals.

Lots of women settle for inadequate partners for various reasons, some perfectly rational, some out of misguided fear of being single, but that's the OP's choice to make.

I would find this difficult to get past. Even if I came to understand the reasons behind his actions, the trust would be gone.

I might be a bit thick....but why does he still have her number.

He's sniffing around for an opportunity for some sex action. Starting with the old flame, who (it sounds like) is blowing him off.

Any attractive woman he meets at the office who gives him any encouragment, and it will be The Script.

Sorry.

Get your ducks in a row.

He's fishing to try and get close to her again.

In the bin with him.

Do not under any circumstances contact her!

She could lie and wind you up!

It's him you need to deal with, not her.

I do understand what you're saying. However from the messages and the husband being snappy, it seems apparent that his heart is no longer in the marriage. Sadly, when this happens, some men can turn quite nasty and leaving could be the better and safer option for the op.

My god, DO NOT stay in a relationship with this absolute turd of a man who clearly has zero respect for you. Agree with PPs advice to get your ducks in a row and leave him. You and your DS deserve so much more than this wankstain. Stay strong 💐