To ask for advice re going to bed earlier?

[TheCatsPyjamas1]

I know this is embarrassing to ask, as it makes me sound like I’m horribly lazy and have no discipline whatsoever, and it’s also a tiny minor thing in the grand scheme of things, in terms of topics that people ask for help with on here.

Since the pandemic has finished, my work has asked us to come into the office 2-3 days per week, after we worked from home during the pandemic (but still had the option of going into the office if we wanted).

I find it really difficult to wake up on time to go into the office, which is embarrassing to admit. I think it’s because I tend to go to bed quite late the night before (perhaps around 12:30/1am-ish), even though I KNOW it’ll make me feel like death warmed up the next day. Before the pandemic, I went into the office 5 days a week at a strict early start time and had no problems with this.

I think my question is: what can I do to get a routine going to go to bed earlier? I think if I went to sleep around 11ish, say, I would be able to get up the next morning and feel well rested.

Thanks so much all.

I found the only way to do this is to do it consistently even on the days I didn't need to be up early the next day.

Thanks Enko!

I'm in my 50s and happily now in bed at 10pm, so I know I'll get at least 5 hours in before I wake up like clockwork at 3 am... and then on the hour till the alarm goes off.

Anyway consistency is key, no caffeine after a certain time, try and wind down a bit and read an actual book rather than look at stuff on phone or watch TV in bed.

I agree that it's about routine. Even if you are knackered for a week, your body clock will soon adjust. Spring/Summer will make getting up easier.

Same as others have suggested. You go to bed earlier every day. And then you get up on time every day, maybe with a bit of flexibility on the weekends. Take yourself to bed with a book. Take a sleeping tablet short-term if you really can't fall asleep.

As said above, pick a time you can stick to every night.

Make sure you get daylight first thing, this will release the hormones in your body which tell you it’s time to wake up. Either sit by a window or outside for a few minutes.

No screens for the last hour before bed.

Sleep with curtains open if you can, if there’s no streetlights to keep you awake. The daylight will wake you up gradually. Or get one of those daylight alarm clocks.

Try a guided sleep meditation to help you sleep, there’s lots on YouTube.

Avoid alcohol, caffeine and nicotine in the run up to bed time.

I hope this isn’t patronising, but I have a toddler and read a lot about sleep training! All advice on moving bedtimes is generally 15 minutes at a time. So if you usually go to bed at 12am, go to bed at 11.45 for a couple of nights, then, 11.30 for a few nights, then 11.15 and so on until you reach the desired bed time. The gradual change is meant to slowly acclimatise you rather than just laying there in bed two hours earlier willing yourself to sleep!

I’ve got a lumi light it wakes you up with gradual light that starts of dim and gets brighter until the alarm eventually sounds, even on the days when I have had a late night this helps a bit

I am the same though the pandemic has messed up my body clock

I also recommend that when you do get up (with alarm or whatever), do everything you can to get your body and brain awake quickly. Lights, move, drink, breakfast. It all just helps to reset, more effectively than sloping around in a blanket under dim lights. This helps me with jet lag anyway. I began to feel that it was the time of eating that was more important in setting my body clock than the time of sleeping. Works for me anyhow.

I agree with consistency. For me I just have to set an alarm and get up in the morning even if I’m tired and then I’m tired enough to sleep at night.

Look into good sleep hygiene. Not eating late, no caffeine on a evening, no screens for an hour before bed and all that stuff.

This is all so helpful. Thanks so much, everyone.

This is so so so basic and I don’t want to patronise you but (embarrassingly) it’s helped me just in the last couple weeks. I’ve been going to bed earlier, even if I’m not tired, putting on an electric blanket and reading my kindle. I just get sleepier faster that way. Showering beforehand helps me even more. I was going to bed around 11, falling asleep around 11:30-12:00ish, now I’ve started going now closer to 9:30 and I’m ready to doze a bit by like… 10:15-10:30?

I used to be REALLY bad at going to bed early. I'm a lot better when I start planning it a long way out and accept that getting from sofa to lights out takes a minimum of an hour.

I need to get the basics done early. So right now it's 730. We've had dinner and are watching a bit of telly. I've got 2 hours clear and then at 930 I've got a book I like by the bed and I will be heading up, expecting lights out at 1030.

How long do you think it takes you to go to bed? How long does it actually take?

What are you doing until 12.30/1.00 am? You need to break that habit whatever it is.

Start by making your bedtime deadline midnight. Stick to that for a week or two, then 11.45 for a couple of weeks, then 11.30 etc.

I used to be a night owl but I've turned it around and go to bed a good 2 hours earlier than I used to and feel a lot better for it.

You could maybe set an alarm in the evening for a certain time to remind you to turn off screens and start getting ready for bed? I also struggle in the mornings but have a sunset/sunrise alarm clock which helps lots. It gradually dims 30mins before I go to sleep and gradually brightens 30mins before I get up. I still need an alarm clock & I could happily roll over and go back to sleep when it does go off, but it does mean that I'm no longer jolted out of a really deep sleep when my alarm goes. It's particularly useful when you have to get up in the dark.

Consistency is the key. Same time each night.

Take yourself to bed 45mins before sleep time and read (rather than screens)

If you want to bring your wake window forward (earlier) you need to get up and expose your eyes to bright natural light (outside, not through a window) as soon as possible (within 30-60 minutes of waking). Morning light wakes your body up and brings your circadian rhythm forward.

Try to get outside in the late afternoon too - natural light at this time encourages your body to release melatonin which promotes sleep.

Also no screens within 2 hrs of sleep time. No caffeine after lunch. Build a consistent 'I'm getting ready for sleep' routine (bath, pjs, hot drink, reading in darker room etc)

I'm confused, why can't you just to to bed at 11pm?

Set a sleep schedule on your phone. It stops all notifications coming through, does wonders to help avoid doom scrolling into the wee hours.

I set this up and shortly after it inspired me to turn off all notification on my phone bar text and phone calls. I really don’t need immediately notified that DP sent a meme on Facebook!

Ooh this is exactly the thread that i need, I am exactly the same and want to change my late night habits and morning struggles.

I would highly recommend listening to Dr Matt Walker's podcast (he is a sleep scientist) they are all so interesting, but there's a specific one on sleep Chronotypes - the biological influence on whether you are a "night owl" or an "early bird". He has a 12 step routine in that particular episode (research based!) on how to be more of an early bird. They tested it on people who were typically going to bed in the early hours through habit. And it worked!
From memory it was along the lines of setting alarm 2 hrs earlier than normal, eat as soon as you wake, get natural sunlight as soon as possible, avoid caffeine 12 full hours before your proposed bedtime, keep lights dimmed in the evening, go to bed 2 hrs earlier, have a bath or shower before bed, stick to the same rigorous routine every day including weekends. Definitely missed some but those are what I can remember.

Honestly though the podcasts are all SO interesting!

I'd also say avoid screens before bed, a warm bath or shower does help because of the temperature drop - it helps you fall asleep. Reading always makes me super tired.

I also recently got a lumi alarm clock and I have to say, I do always wake up feeling slightly less groggy with that than if I wake up to darkness and my phone alarm. But get a cheap brand as it cost a bloody fortune and you can definitely get similar for a lot less.

I'm reading with interest as I have the same issue. Exhausted by late afternoon but wide awake at 11pm. I sleep from about 12.30 or 1 to 7 and it's not enough. It's a build up of tiredness so I'm wrecked by Friday then I lie in and spend half the weekend feeling dopey. I've improved a bit recently as I'm on a healthy diet so reducing sugar seems to help as I'm getting tired earlier and falling asleep faster so its a matter of getting upstairs earleir. Dh and I don't sit down together til about 10.30, it's just so busy with kids etc and then we want to watch something.

Another thing someone told me was to do all your bedtime stuff before doing anything else. So I would head upstairs at say 10pm, then realise I still needed to faff about putting a wash on, having a shower, cleaning teeth or whatever else, and then I wouldn't actually be in bed until much later.
I've tried coming home from work and rather than sitting down once all the kids bedtimes and other shit are done, I'll go and get fully ready for bed before sitting down to chill. So shower, in to pyjamas, make up off etc. So then I can in theory go upstairs at 10pm and actually just get straight into bed, therefore much earlier!