10 yo boys find tampons at football- coaches reactions

[fourelementary]

Last night I was dropping my son off at football. On Astro pitches at a local high school so they all congregate at one area for several teams. School gives out free sanitary supplies so someone has nicked a box of tampons and dropped them outside the pitches. Lad of around 10 (not in my son’s team) picks them up and opens them and goes “it’s tampons! Omg it’s fucking tampons”. His two coaches are standing metres away- nothing. Boy starts giving out tampons to his pals, saying “haha fucking tampons. I’m going to take one home for my mum”. much hilarity ensues and some boys unwrap and throw tampons. Coaches come over… then start joking with them “I dare you to” in response to the mum comment. Then one boy says about giving tampons to the other boys in their team and the coach says “yeah when he arrives give him one and say it’s for your bad week”.

Now my son is a pretty good footballer and he loves it. But I hate the toxic masculinity culture of football. His own coaches were nearby but not sure how attention they paid to this going on as they were talking to each other. My son was embarrassed that I was there and asked me not to say anything about it. He didn’t like what they were doing and was uncomfortable with it all so went off to warm up.
I said nothing. But am still annoyed.

AIBU to want to message the coaches in question and raise this as I think they handled that in a disgraceful way- allowing profanities and littering not to mention sexist comments and misogynistic behaviour?

YABU- boys will be boys, not your business
YANBU- message them

🙄

The responses on here are unreal.

“OMG lecture them on period poverty!”

“Littering!”
“Toxic Masculinity!”

Clearly they should have canceled practice that day to have a in-depth open conversation about women’s periods.

…And back in the real world the coaches redirected them, after not making a big deal about the tampons, back their practice.

You wouldn’t let your son play even if he wanted to?

@Harry12345 well no because my five year old doesn't make all the choices in his life, but also most boys play football because it's the default and because it's almost expected. DH has never played and doesn't even watch it, so it's just not a feature in our house. I grew up in a family where everyone played football, my dad, brother, my mum, I can commentate a good game, played a bit myself and spent many a Sunday morning on a sideline. I rarely even watch anymore, the culture around it and the players isn't something I can get on board with.

Up to you but I find controlling what sports my child plays more toxic than young kids joking about tampons which I remember girls doing at 10 too

@Harry12345 he enjoys the sports he does, we all make choices for our children, it's not just a joke about a tampon it's the rampant misogyny, sexual offending, and hero worshipping of young men who get paid more than they can handle to kick a ball around being seen as aspirational that I object to more. Chuck in the financial conduct of the clubs and the evidence around the brain injuries caused long term, it's just not something I'll be encouraging.
Lots of boys don't play football, would you be so concerned if it was my daughter I didn't want playing ?

Ex youth football welfare officer here - you should contact the welfare officer and make them aware. I'd have been disgusted if I was told any of our coaches had behaved in that way. Youth football is now mixed gender until age 16 so there is no place for any of those attitudes.

Surely most parents control the sports their children do? I didn't do horseriding until I was an adult, because it was too expensive. Plenty of other sports I didn't play, either. Yes, most places will have a football club nearby and not too expensive (so more of an option than lacrosse - I read a lot of Enid Blyton...) But a parent might want their child to focus on swimming or tennis or something, or Scouts or music or dance - and you can't do everything, especially with club fees and maybe transport there and back.

Yes I would, not allowing your child to play a specific sport if they want to is controlling. By all means don’t encourage it but I would never stop my child from playing a sport if they were interested, boy or girl

There’s a difference between not allowing and not being able to afford your child to play a certain sport

You still have to make choices about what they do, which may take cost into consideration, but also location/transport, spaces, other activities, what siblings do - and children need to learn they can't do everything they want. Football wouldn't worry me - they're very likely to get the opportunity to play it at school and just do kickabout in the park. I'd want them to do things outside of school that they don't have less opportunity for in school.

They were literally mocking women. Imagine if a young girl was on that team or any girl within ear shot.

I work at a girls school. We hire out our pitch. We would want to know this happened and would have serious words with the coaches. Tell them.

Same. That is utterly pathetic and frankly, shameful. The coach would have shrunk away from a calm confrontation.

“Bad week”? 🖕🏻

I'd have dealt with it there and then.

But I'm a primary school teacher, and well used to the occasional stupidity of 10yo boys. And honestly? I'd have treated the coaches the same.

I would contact them from an education point of view because maybe the coach himself needs coaching about male privilege and power.

I would say how disappointing that it was a missed opportunity for the coach to step up and be a good role model for teaching lads. He could, in that moment, advocated against misogyny and general anti social littering but he chose not to. These values are relevant to young people, especially if any of them have ambitions to be professional sportsmen.

Most boys coaches are " wanabee" footballers but failed in it.. but still think they are Harry Rednapp..
I'd report them.

I wouldn’t do anything, I don’t think your son would want you to, anyway I don’t think it would have any effect