Do family courts think about weekends?

[March34]

Sorry to post in here just not getting much help elsewhere. Due to go to family court soon. DD has not yet started school but will In Sept. How the other parent wants the contact to be will mean I don't have any weekend day with DD as I work one day and the other would be with the other parent. Would court take this into account and agree to EOW due to this? The other parent has no reason to not do the day I work they just don't want to.

Yes, courts are very aware of weekends and won't allow one person to get all the fun time and none of the hard graft time

The court will also take in to account keeping up the relationship with the maternal family, Nan and grandad etc, I wouldn't worry to much about it if your very insistent and make sure your reasons are based solely on what's best for your DD then there shouldn't be an issue

Is there a reason they can't have every weekend day you work, and EOW? Who is currently looking after the child on the days your work? EOW, the day at the weekend you work, and during the week, still doesn't give them very much time together. But yes, I do agree you should be allowed family,time as well, both parents always should

@UnderScoredBrain Thank you I just feel like it, which is probably his aim. Yes childcare on the day I'm working would be my mum one week and then my dad and stepmum the other week. They already have her on a Friday afternoon and then taking up a day of their weekend off feels awful but unless I start passing her to friends I have no other option. The poor thing isn't going to know where she is she'll just be passed around it horrible. I'm guessing she'd just be with his mum and dad although it seems she spends the majority of the time she's with him at theirs anyway with him there. I also don't know if to say in court that as I'm the one working and he doesn't that surely that should be taken into account but I don't want to sound bitchy. I'll be honest I think he's just wore me down so much and knows how much it will be upsetting me losing more time with her that I'm just scared to say anything that might make me look bad. He's also so utterly convinced that he'll get what he wants that I'm starting to worry he will.

Do you have some one supporting you with the court process?

@UnderScoredBrain Yes my family are brilliant and really supportive. I also have a free hour with a solicitor next week.

Just an update on this. So after advice, applied to court as urgent. They've come back and said they don't see it as urgent so need to do mediation first. If everything is agreed in mediation (doubt it will be but who knows) then does anyone know if I'll get the £250 back I've paid for court?

This is not a case for an urgent application I'm afraid and you won't get refunded fees. If things are not settled and agreed in mediation or if one party refuses mediation, the court will bring Cafcass in who will likely do a Section 7 report and make recommendations to the court.

Your ex being so rigid without good reason is not likely to just get him what he wants. The more likely scenario is that it will be EOW and one midweek contact. This is fairly standard. However, there was a woman on here recently who ended up with her ex getting every weekend contact. That is unusual and I think the judge was an absolute arse. Make your statements child centred, that you want her to have leisure time with both parents and make clear that your working schedule is as such that he can have a day every weekend while you work. I was in and out of court for about five years so I'm speaking from my own experience. Good luck.

@TheFormidableMrsC Thank you, I had a feeling the court fees would now be gone. I have a feeling he'll say no to mediation just because he has to pay for it so we'll see!

Unlikely this will need a Section 7 report, those are only ordered where there’s significant welfare issues. Unless you’re in an area covered by the new pilot way if working, there’ll be an initial letter to the court giving advice.

It is obviously in your daughter’s best interests to have quality weekend time with you both, so I’d be astounded if your ex gets his way. Just couch everything you say to the court in terms of what’s in your child’s best interests. He will really struggle to do that.

(Assuming you can’t resolve it in mediation)

In my experience of family court, they focus on the best interest of the child but there is also a lot around fairness and being reasonable. It is likely that you will both have to compromise.

Prior to court, you will submit a position statement where you can set out a schedule that meets the best needs of your child. Your ex will do the same. You may be able to reach a compromise/ agreement yourselves.