DD sudden break up

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I'll admit I'm shamelessly posting for traffic but I'm concerned!

DD is 23, she's been in a relationship for 2 years, with a man from Australia. They were living and working abroad for the last 12 months. They've been back in the UK not two weeks, in an air b and b until they find a flat, she started her new job on Monday (same company different location) he was on a job hunt.
Last night out of nowhere he told her he had booked a flight to Australia, he wouldn't be coming back and he didn't want her to go with him. They spent the night together. She pleaded for him not to go but he left around 7am, feeling a little lost, on no sleep she just went to work, didn't want to make a bad impression on her colleagues in her first week.
She's stayed in London tonight as she has to work tomorrow but she is distraught isn't sleeping. He has left her unblocked but has asked her not to contact him, he's told her it's not her he just doesn't love her anymore and doesn't want to live in the UK.
I've booked her a train ticket for tomorrow after work, so she can come home for the weekend. She has been on the phone all night crying and I fear the next few weeks are going to be so difficult. She does have friends in London but hasn't seen them in a while! I have no idea how to help her, her last break up, was her breaking up with him and she was emotional but not like this. She is confused as just days earlier they were looking at flats and planing a future together.

AIBU to feel lost on how to help DD and be seeking any advice? She's our only child and I've only ever been with DH so no first hand experience!

Sorry, but it's a part of life. Another thread on here is about a lack of resilience in young people. Parents wanting to fix their lives is part of this.
She will be sad, you will support her, she'll move on.
(Edited a typo)

You're doing all you can. Just be there for her. Allow her to talk and cry and talk and cry, don't offer immediate solutions or advice. It's gonna be a shock for her.

I know she's very new in her role but depending on the company she could be open with HR just so they know what's going on as it may effect her personality or performance in work but they'll understand why. I think everyone can sympathise that it's a terrible situation to be in.

Some people take breakups really badly and for me I found looking at the "neuroscience" of it helpful. What chemicals are being released which cause such intense feelings etc. Its like addiction and withdrawal.. actually very interesting. And then just focusing on myself.. wether that's going to the gym more, doing art or something I enjoy. Once she's through this initial period of shock just encourage her to focus on herself. Lots of snuggles and hot chocolates will help too.

Oh bless she probably feels / thinks her whole future has gone - well the future she thought she was going to have. I guess this is her first serious break up.

However she is young and is now living in London - what a great city to live in whilst single.
but it can be lonely !

Her friends hopefully will be delighted when she phones them to say that she's back - yes they will have had relationships whilst she's been away, some may be in relationships right now but I rather guess several of them will be single if they are her age range.
She can meet up for coffee / drinks in an evening / a walk / a museum / all sorts of things.
There may also be young people at work ? so there could be friendships to be gained there. Or at least friendly people to socialise with.

After the tears / the sobbing then you both need to think of the positives - not easy I know but onwards and upwards.

Maybe a flat or house share ? yet again the potential to meet other young people.

OP if it had been the other way round, and it was your daughter bolting home from Sydney because she didn't want to stay in the relationship, would you be saying she didn't deserve any sympathy? Of course you wouldn't. Poor bloke, you don't upend your whole life on a whim. He must have been desperate but hopefully he will be much happier back at home.

I wouldn’t be call him names or telling her that he’ll be back.

The way this guy has handled it seems brutal but I guess it was sort of make or break time if they are looking for rental flats together, etc - better now than when they were tied into leases and had a more established life together in London. There was the added layer in this of this guy not being from the UK and probably felt his future was going to be in Australia.

The OP’s poor DD, break-ups are never easy, she’ll just have to cry it out for a few days and then get up and pick herself up.

We should be telling woman, that if men come running back dont take them back because there was enough reason to go running in the first place.

BUT i have been in this mans situation before, he isn't a bad man just because he has fallen out of love and wants to go home. I wouldn't choose UK over Australia either and he probably just realised that he wasn't massively bothered whether she stayed or not in which case he obviously doesn't love her as much as he should for that amount of time. I think its good he realised now rather than later even if she is going to be upset for a while. Its also good he isn't leading her on, he's said his piece and he's left.

She may cope better if you come across like a calm rational grown up

I can understand OPs irritation that her dd has changed jobs and moved from Paris to London because the boyfriend couldnt get a job in France and now the dd has been dumped. I do think we older women need to caution our daughters about giving up the life we have to follow a man without being certain of said man's commitment.

Is it possible for dd to go back to her old job in Paris - would she want to ? I agree with others that you can only be a listening ear/ shoulder to cry on but point out the positives of living in London as a young single person.

I do also think the dd has had a lucky escape as the boyfriend sounds utterly callous.

Well, that's quite a lot of extra information!

Without hearing his side of the story we will never know his reasons for the way he finished the relationship. Maybe he will explain more in the future.

I am sorry your daughter has gone through this.

He told her at 10pm and left not 12 hours later. No closure, no real reason why

Thats not right, as your initial telling stated:
he's told her it's not her he just doesn't love her anymore and doesn't want to live in the UK

He didn’t just ghost her while she was at work one day. He told her why and left. He gave closure. Hard to hear the first part but it’s obvious he reconciled that he didn’t love her enough to make him live in a place he didn’t want to live long term. France was a temporary jolly so he didn’t have that barrier there. Yes, he could have waited a few days until the weekend, but was he being pressured into discussions re future, flat viewings etc meanwhile, and in his head thought he was doing better by not carrying through with this for a further few days and leading her on now he had made his mind up?

I know it’s hard to see your child in pain, but you must be rationale, not outraged as per your latter post. She is 23yo, so I would have viewed this as a temporary relationship from the outset. Maybe you were with your DH from 23yo but I don’t think it’s typical, as in I know of no one who ever married anyone they were with at that age. She has many many years to have fun, and eventually meet Mr Right at this age.

He is also right in that, it was likely not her. I was with a few men in my 20’s who were utterly fabulous, and I WAS in love with them but it just wasn’t ideal situation wise. Just bad timing and location - I wasn’t as decided as your daughter’s boyfriend about not staying in UK forever versus going ‘home’ some day (even though I didn’t want to leave at that point). When things got serious with proposals etc I didn’t feel I could commit if there was absolutely any chance I’d want to go home at some point in the future, knowing the expectation was that I’d have forever life in UK. Because I didn’t know if love would be enough if that situation arose. So right men, wrong time and location, as I did eventually choose to go home rather than stay, and looking back now, I completely believe that I would have been miserable once I’d made that decision if I was stuck there, even in a relationship with a ‘soulmate’ I loved very much. So, I’m glad my younger self made the choices I did at the time even though they were very painful for both myself and the other parties along the way.

Edited to add, I’m Australian and yes, truthfully, your weather is utterly shit.

Your Mammy,s wrong I have been dumped. at several.times when younger they never came running,back
She will.get over it just be there for her reassure its not her fault ,feelings. Can change .

Your daughter is heart broken now, but if he didn't love her anymore, he's done the right thing. He has spoken clearly and left the relationship before it deteriorated further. He didn't cheat or lie. He made sure she was "home" and then left. Your daughter is hurt now but she'll get over it.

@Kellogg1 it creates a false hope and can prolong the heartbreak when said person doesn't come back so yes, stupid statement

Like I said. Speaking from experience this isn’t always the case. It’s an option the OP doesn’t have to use.