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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

For telling my manager

3 replies

Lilllypad11 · 29/02/2024 23:54

I work with a colleague who More than likely has depression and severe anxiety. They often come in feeling fed up. She’s morbidly obese which she says triggers her anxiety and makes it worse.

I have worked with her for a year now , and I sit next to her in the office. I have found that she has complained more and more lately. Sadly her daughter is very ill with an incurable illness that is degenerative. And for that she has my heartfelt sympathies and I always tell her I’m there to listen. But lately I’ve felt she’s been upset a lot or angry about work and just all round fed up of work and everything else. I asked her if she was okay the other day and she just burst into tears, saying she was fed up annoyed etc and I talked her through it all. Then the next day she was fed up and it sometimes feels like you’re scared to say a word, this time she confided in my manager and said “she felt down about things”
at one point I found that her annoyance towards work and general life sparked a possible requirement for more help (not ashamed to admit I have therapy because I’m awful at coping) but i had to explain to my manager that I am struggling now to listen because I feel I’m not the right person to confide in. Particularly due to our jobs too.

this has now sparked further conversation with higher up about this colleague needing more serious help.

Aibu for having done this?

OP posts:
IWouldRatherBeOnHoliday · 29/02/2024 23:57

YANBU at all.
Everyone has their own limits on their capacity to support others. The main thing is that you both have people at work who are aware and can help you both.

I hope your colleague gets the help she clearly needs, and I hope your manager supports you to be kept out of the situation.

StarlightLime · 29/02/2024 23:58

No. You're not her therapist.

ThirtyThrillionThreeTrees · 01/03/2024 00:00

You aren't qualified to help.
You are also entitled to go to work without bring drained by someone's else's struggles.
She's in need of help and it's having an impact on work.

Hopefully, your employer can support her in some way.

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