To Ask if Helping Others Equals Happiness but it's not working for me?

[pregahes]

I’ve been seeing a lot of posts and videos lately claiming that helping others is the key to happiness. However, I’ve come to realise that helping people doesn’t really bring me any joy. It’s not that I’m against it or unwilling to help, but it just doesn’t give me the fulfillment that others seem to experience.

So, my question is, does this mean I’m destined for an unhappy life? Am I missing something crucial here? I’m genuinely curious to hear your thoughts and experiences on this matter. Have any of you felt the same way? And if so, what did you do about it?

Oh no, other people are shits. Eat some chocolate on the sofa is my advice.

There’s good research to suggest it does make people happy.
But, gently, are you talking about helping others or being a doormat?

It can give you a good feeling in the right circumstances. Which generally means when its not too onerous or inconvenient and the other person is both deserving and suitably grateful.

I’ve just learned through work (a contract) that people who say they’re lovely and kind and caring are usually the total opposite to this and conniving too. The ones who are nasty are usually actually quite nice underneath. So apart from people who I know outside work then that’s me being nice at work done.

I definitely don't mean being a doormat it isn't in my nature AT ALL 😂

Just a bit more giving without expecting anything in return..studies prove it's key to happiness but it just doesn't do anything for me!!

There are thousands of different ways to help people. Volunteering in a field you find interesting or rewarding could be more your thing then giving.
But at the end of the day everyone is different and you aren't going to be unhappy just because you don't like helping others!

No, it doesn't mean you're destined for an unhappy life. But as PP said, there are so many ways to help others. I wouldn't get any fulfillment from volunteering and would hate it, yet it does make me happy and feel content knowing that I have a direct debit set up to donate to a children's hospital group charity.

No single thing is ‘the key to happiness’.

what specific things are you doing?

do you have children? Friends? Other family members? Do you ever do anything to help them out, to cheer them up, to help them have a nice day?

acts of service don’t have to be grand gestures; everyday things count too.

Maybe you haven't yet found the particular way of helping others that is meaningful to you?
Maybe you haven't yet found the particular "others" that you actually want to help?
Maybe you're not at a time in your life where helping others makes you happy, but at another point it will?
Maybe helping others will never make you happy, but other things will?
It's all okay, I think.

Personally I find really little things make me feel better- literally like letting people out of side roads/ runners cross, opening doors, putting old lady's shopping trolleys back for them, offering a kid a lift home so the parent gets an hour of their evening back, taking stuff to the charity shop that they actually want. If it's a massive hassle then no.

Helping others ahead of myself definitely did not lead to happiness for me.

Personally I recommend cats, swimming and decent chocolate.