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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To go to hen party and not the wedding

10 replies

cadburyegg · 29/02/2024 16:08

I am going to a hen party soon which I have already paid towards. Got the wedding invite today and unfortunately I can't go because it's a childfree wedding (didn't know this before).

Feel gutted I can't make the wedding, but is it still OK/not weird to go to the hen party still? As well as the bride there are a few mutual friends going who I would love to see as we don't meet up too often these days.

OP posts:
innerdesign · 29/02/2024 16:09

I think it would be worse for the bride for you to call off both, so yes absolutely fine (and kind of you) to go to the hen

AsTheyPulledYouOutOfTheOxygenTent · 29/02/2024 16:11

Talk to the bride. Say you're really gutted but you won't be able to make the wedding for logistical reasons (personally I wouldn't even say that it's because of the childcare in case it looks like you're pressuring her), but you'd love to attend the hen do to see her off that way, and hope that's still OK?

MardyBigBum · 29/02/2024 16:15

I don’t think that’s weird at all. To me, it would be weird to say that you’re not going to the hen do because you can’t make it to the wedding.

ancienticecream · 29/02/2024 16:22

Of course it's fine to go to the hen party but not the wedding. But maybe mention it to the bride and tell her that child-free weddings ruin it for the rest of us.

DorothyZ · 29/02/2024 16:25

Who is babysitting while you go to the hen night? Can they not do the same for the wedding?

TidyDancer · 29/02/2024 16:27

I would try to get a babysitter for the wedding if I was you but if there's really no way to make it work then you just need to be honest with her. Anyone having a child free wedding should be prepared for this to be a possibility.

Original poster
cadburyegg · 29/02/2024 16:41

I'm recently divorced, the hen party falls on a weekend they are at their dad's. The wedding falls on one of my weekends. My mum would usually happily babysit but she can't do that day.

I wouldn't even ask my ex if he would swap weekends because I know he would refuse.

OP posts:
MojoDojoCasaHouse · 29/02/2024 16:45

Of course you are NBU. Why would you this this is in any way unreasonable? Not your fault you can’t attend the wedding. The hen do will probably be more fun anyway.

Yellowtrouser · 29/02/2024 23:51

Even if you were not divorced a OH could usually cover a hen weekend but would hope to attend a child free wedding with you. Absolutely go and enjoy it.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 01/03/2024 00:12

cadburyegg · 29/02/2024 16:41

I'm recently divorced, the hen party falls on a weekend they are at their dad's. The wedding falls on one of my weekends. My mum would usually happily babysit but she can't do that day.

I wouldn't even ask my ex if he would swap weekends because I know he would refuse.

I'm glad he's your ex if he's that horrid! Hope you meet a nice new man on your hen night out ! X

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