CMS

4 replies

Bunbun9 · 29/02/2024 10:39

Im a single parent and cut contact with my ex as he cheated on me during pregnancy. He tried to contact me a few times but now has a new relationship and I haven’t heard from him at all. My DD is now 4 and I have never received any money from him.

I wanted to go about claiming CMS but he never told his family I was pregnant and they don’t even know they have a grandchild. Will they find out if I put a claim for it?

What happens if he denies any knowledge? I don’t want to put a big spanner in the works as it’s worked out ok me raising my DD alone but I am struggling on a single income

OP posts:

Pickles2023 · 29/02/2024 10:58

Are you prepared that he may start to want to get to know his daughter once initiated?

Bananasandtoast · 29/02/2024 11:02

As PP said, that was my first thought.
By going for maintenance you are saying "you are this child's father and have responsibility for her". He may well decide if he has to pay up like a dad then maybe he should actually be a dad. Especially as he's in a relationship.

Antelopevalleys · 29/02/2024 11:03

If he tells them they will.

Also by claiming CMS you’ll be opening the floodgates of him going for contact as is his right

FarmGirl78 · 29/02/2024 11:21

A CMS claim starts with just one letter going out to him, at the address you give as being his previously known. If it's his parents address, and he's not there and they open the letter, they'll find out. Otherwise there's no automatic way they'd find out, unless you or he told them.

He might want contact, but if none of his family know it might just be that it's happy to keep it that way, and pays up without saying a word to anyone - his girlfriend, his parents, his wider family. There would be huge fall out from him keeping this secret so long, so do you think he'd tell them, or keep it quiet?

Regardless, you have a duty to your Daughter to give her the best possible upbringing and if you're struggling then you need that extra money and you're doing her a disservice in not claiming it.

There's also the fact you're denying her her Father, which right now might not be an issue but as she gets old she'll want to know. Think of your Daughter as a 30 year old woman, chatting to her friends. Would she want to have a Father?

Flip