Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Was I too harsh? Friend fallout

24 replies

Lurker6838 · 29/02/2024 10:32

I have a friend who I met over 3 years ago now, I would class her as someone I speak to the most.

There has however been a lot of drama surrounding her and the drama she causes in other people’s lives. For example, I’ve told her in confidence about issues I was having with someone else in the friendship group and then she told that person when they was drunk knowing that they kick off and it did - it nearly destroyed the friendships between everyone.

The latest issue was regarding my ex. We split up on really bad terms, my ex had been cheating pretty much the whole time. My friend was at an event with a few people that know my ex (I don’t know them) and was going around asking questions about my ex and what my ex had told them, telling them what my ex did.

I have lost the plot over it - I’ve told her that it’s not her place to do that, it’s shit stirring and causing drama on purpose as she doesn’t know who they are going to go and tell and I don’t want my ex then ringing my phone asking why everyone is talking about them when it has nothing to do with me.

I have told her that I’m sick of her causing issues - I can name plenty of times where people have called me kicking off because she’s shit stirred or caused drama that I’m not even involved in or know anything about. I said that she is now an untrustworthy friend and the next time someone calls my phone over drama she has caused will be the very last time because I’m sick of it.

She said I’m being too harsh and over reacting basically.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Sauvblanctime · 29/02/2024 10:33

YANBU she sounds like an absolute twat

usedtobeasizeten · 29/02/2024 10:42

Well, you know she has form for being untrustworthy and unable to keep her mouth shut, so why are you confiding in her?

Lurker6838 · 29/02/2024 10:43

@usedtobeasizeten I don’t anymore - this stuff about my ex happened in September last year and she’s trying to stir it up now

OP posts:
YesThatsATurdOnTheRug · 29/02/2024 10:49

YANBU

Caniaskyousomething · 29/02/2024 10:52

YANBU. She sounds a nightmare. If she hasn't got drama going on for herself, she seems to like making drama about others. I'd be distancing myself big time.

kiwiane · 29/02/2024 10:53

I wouldn’t give her another chance - stop seeing her - she isn’t a friend

MonsteraMama · 29/02/2024 10:55

She's a shit stirring drama queen. Life is too short to fill it with arseholes. Just get rid.

AlohaRose · 29/02/2024 10:55

I said that she is now an untrustworthy friend and the next time someone calls my phone over drama she has caused will be the very last time because I’m sick of it.

Unless you are all 16 or you actually enjoy this drama then I have no idea why you would be continuing this friendship at all. There should be no "next time".

KreedKafer · 29/02/2024 10:59

Once again and louder for the people at the back: YOU DO NOT HAVE TO BE FRIENDS WITH PEOPLE YOU DON'T LIKE.

This woman isn't very nice and you don't enjoy her company. There is literally no reason for you to carry on seeing her.

Lorelaigilmore88 · 29/02/2024 10:59

Yanbu.
She sounds about 12. And shes not a friend to you. A level of trust is about the most basic aspect of a friendship and you don't have that with her.

YouTulip · 29/02/2024 11:03

AlohaRose · 29/02/2024 10:55

I said that she is now an untrustworthy friend and the next time someone calls my phone over drama she has caused will be the very last time because I’m sick of it.

Unless you are all 16 or you actually enjoy this drama then I have no idea why you would be continuing this friendship at all. There should be no "next time".

Yes, why would you even be contemplating continuing all this juvenile drama?

Trickabrick · 29/02/2024 11:06

Why wait for the next time? People can only treat you how you let them!

toomuchfaff · 29/02/2024 12:38

YNBU with this person

YABU if you think this person is your friend.

Learn the lesson that drama magnets are never good people; they tend to shit stir and cause the drama that appears to follow them like a cloud. There's a reason for that - and its usually them.

Ditch, block and move on with your life without this person in it. It'll never change....

LookItsMeAgain · 29/02/2024 12:39

With 'friends' like her, who needs enemies?

She is terrible.

You have two options - one is to drop her entirely and if she is at any of the meet ups between you and the other friends, put her on an instant information diet - don't share anything with her that you wouldn't mind hearing on the 9 O'Clock news.
The other is, now that you know what she is like (and hopefully so do the others in this friendship group) to feed her a completely fictitious story but make it sound plausible. It could be either positive or negative (your pick) but you sell it to her. See how far she takes it and then call her out on her shit stirring, and then drop her.

You know what she is like so in relation to what you did/said up to now, I don't think you were too harsh.

fedupwithbeingcold · 29/02/2024 12:42

The words untrustworthy and friend don't belong together. If you cannot trust her, then she's not a friend

ImCamembertTheBigCheese · 29/02/2024 12:57

Not too harsh. She's a drama llama and won't change, she gets a kick out of all the stirring.

Sedgwick · 29/02/2024 13:04

Not too harsh, she is clearly making trouble. Drop her, this isn’t how a friend behaves.

britneyisfree · 29/02/2024 13:08

Why are you still friends with her? She's a dick.

PinkCandles · 29/02/2024 13:11

Yanbu at all.

Geebray · 29/02/2024 13:19

I don't share that much of my life with friends I've had for much longer. You do seem to be contributing to the drama a bit...

IsawwhatIsaw · 29/02/2024 13:26

KreedKafer · 29/02/2024 10:59

Once again and louder for the people at the back: YOU DO NOT HAVE TO BE FRIENDS WITH PEOPLE YOU DON'T LIKE.

This woman isn't very nice and you don't enjoy her company. There is literally no reason for you to carry on seeing her.

This has nailed it

mightydolphin · 29/02/2024 13:32

Some friends are there for a fun time and some friends are there to confide in. Some friends can be both. Your friend cannot be both. If she isn't much fun to spend time with then ditch her.

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 29/02/2024 15:22

Sedgwick · 29/02/2024 13:04

Not too harsh, she is clearly making trouble. Drop her, this isn’t how a friend behaves.

This.
She's a mischief maker who has betrayed your trust twice. You've already given her the benefit of the doubt and she trashed that.

OneStripeySockAndOneSpottySock · 29/02/2024 15:30

sings the EastEnders theme tune complete with the 'doof doofs'

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread