To think 90 percent of people wouldn't post what they post on here if it wasn't anonymous?

[EasterEggsComeAtMe]

So much sarcasm and vitriol sometimes! I have been guilty of engaging in a passionate debate here and there but I try to keep it respectful. When posters tag essentially complete strangers for a two word, sarcastic comment, add a full stop to a thread or slag something/ someone off with stress much venom aibu to think that if suddenly mumsnet waived the anonymity of it all there would be a lot of deeply ashamed people ? I sort of wish it would happen!

Yabu - I speak how I speak in real life and the exact same as if my name was attached
Yanbu - mumsnet anonymity allows bullies to surface with no repercussions

Tbh, I hold back a bit.

YABU. I’m just as much of an arsehole in real life…

You’re not wrong though - anonymity just encourages the trolls and the posters looking to provoke a bun fight.

I don't particularly but I feel I can discuss things here as they won't get back to others.

I guess part of the whole point of Mumsnet is that people can be open with minimal repercussions.

Of course there are some people who are nasty who wouldn't be IRL and it's made me more aware of the thin veneer of civility in real life

Thin veneer sums it up perfectly, it's made me think its all fake which is sad :(

Interesting article on this here
https://theconversation.com/online-anonymity-study-found-stable-pseudonyms-created-a-more-civil-environment-than-real-user-names-171374

Anonymity allows honesty. It also allows me to only disclose what I want to about my real life. It’s why I do use a forum with a profile which isn’t linked to my real identity, but I don’t use social media, which is.

I needed anonymity to ask personal questions about DV and divorce. It's a good thing in general but I'm sure some people behave in a knobby manner because they're behind a curtain.

It's true. I've noticed that a lot of what society says and what they actually do is different.

It's when they can do something anonymously that the true colours show.

A big one for me is in political voting. There are so many covert bigots and racists- and the Tory party know this - that's why policy is skewed against immigrants, brexit etc.
I'm yet to meet someone who will openly admit to those views to me though.

To be fair I know I am a dickhead in real life.

I think it’s helpful. You learn what people really think about something. The people in your life will have an agenda or won’t want to hurt your feelings / want to maintain their relationship with you so won’t get a clear answer. If you ask randoms you will get honesty.

Im not going to tell a new mum her baby name is deadly dull annd super over used or frankly absolutely mental but you can warn a stranger!

Remember as well that large websites are always going to be attractive to people that want to post whatever it is that will wind the most people up. They get endless responses from it.

People here cannot resist responding to obvious derail posts - better to just report it and ignore.

I would and I do talk the same here as IRL. But obviously you wouldn't be saying half this stuff to a bunch of randoms IRL else they thought you an axe murderer. I would to my friends and family though. They know I'm an axe murderer and don't mind. (Much)

Oooh gonna read this now! Complete opposite of what I was assuming

Very true! I didn't know until this week that you can report threads that may be trolls

This is a fantastic benefit of it. Did you find the responders at the time were helpful or were there any sarcy or unpleasant replies?

I don’t post online unless anonymous. However I don’t post anything I wouldn’t say to a person IRL. Both here and IRL there are people who I won’t engage with or stop engaging with if they are not going to understand what I’m saying or become hostile.

I am a lot more sarcastic and unpleasant in real life.

The exception is people taking the piss out of / being rude about disabled people where I allow myself to be as rude as I would in real life.

Someone once got involved in a road rage incident with me (he thought I was holding back and followed me until I realised what was going on and stopped). I was raging and gave him both barrels. I think he expected me to be scared and actually I felt like killing him.

There’s a lot of places online where people use their real names and they still can be rude etc online dating, Facebook, other social media platforms
People adding a full stop is annoying but harmless, it’s just people not being able to use watch and bookmark functions.

I think I'm much nicer on MN... probably because of the anonymity, I have no idea who anyone is or what they're going through, so I'd rather not contribute to someones potentially already shitty day. In contrast I have no issue with giving friends/family shit if the situation calls for it.

I do occasionally make (lighthearted) sarcastic comments if someone is being painfully dense or ridiculous on MN. That's something I comfortably do in real life though.

YANBU. Crazy some of these posts are from real people sometimes

To be fair. Would Ops posts some of the things they post if it wasn't anonymous?

I would guess not. An anonymous forum has a comple different dynamic for that reason.

Original posts wouldn't be as detailed, people wouldn't discuss the things they do here with strangers in real life.

So it's hard to say if you would actually, say things they say here in RL.

For example, the ever present sahm/wohm debate. No one has ever asked me for my opinion. If someone i have just met, says they are thinking of becoming a sahm or are a sahm, I don't offer advice or an opinion.

If someone asks about what to consider if they become a sahm, I would give my opinion and advice. But they wouldn't ask, complete strangers that question.

So even if you would say the things you say here in RL, how often would a situation where a stranger gives a situation and asks for input happen. So how would you know for certain? It's not like for like.

@EasterEggsComeAtMe yeah, lots of genuinely useful answers to questions and basically Mumsnet helped me realise what was going on was abuse. Such kind and helpful answers. I recommended the site to a much younger friend who was TTC and went through a miscarriage and she has found it thoughtful and helpful too- so I think the parts which aren't politics and are the things the site was originally set up for are hopefully still useful 'hive mind' type things. It takes a village and all that.

I'm not nasty or anything on here, but I prefer the anonymity.

I have been guilty of engaging in a passionate debate here and there but I try to keep it respectful.

How do we know this? You only have a dozen or so posts to your name as you name changed very recently. Wonder why...

So for me I would not write anything if it was not anonymous but I'm never rude or a troll. I guess I just say what I think I still try and articulate in a kind way.

I do not have to silence my opinions due to who my employer is or if my family could get bullied or targeted because of what I say e.g. pro choice and assisted suicide

A teacher could actually speak their experience without concerns that her name could be used to make a complaint to the education board etc