How to stop myself going insane…

[Bex5490]

So my 4 year old DS has ASD. He is already reading books for age 6 and can write in sentences. Brilliant! But…

He is so obsessed with the alphabet that it’s driving me insane. Just now we did a really nice painting together with everyone in our family which I wanted to put on the wall, but I went to the toilet and when I came back, it was covered in letters.

He draws them on every available piece of paper, orders then reorders magnetic letters, insists on singing it 10 times before getting out the shower, every effing thing comes back to the sodding bloody alphabet.

He also asks you on repeat if you like each letter and if you ever say you don’t, he pretty much tells you you should until you’ve gone so mad that you agree that you like them. Which to him is an in to talk about them more 😂😂😂.

I know it probably sounds quite amusing, but I think I’m going fully mad. To the point where I’m struggling to be kind - and he can tell! Now he says Mummy do letters make you sad? Are you bored with the letters?

HEEEEEELLLLLPPPPP!!!!

Sorry OP, I did laugh though I know it must be infuriating! I don't think there's anything you can do except wait for the phase to pass... 😬

The Works sell cheap wipeable work books. Lots of opportunities to fill in letters and keep busy!

Asd child here too 👋

Guitars guitars guitars for the last three years, I can't bare it any longer.
He is 15 and it's beyond obsessive so I feel your pain.

@Scaffoldingisugly Actually a really good suggestion. One of the benefits of having a child with obsessive interests is that they can focus on it sometimes for ages giving you time to chill! I’m going to go tomorrow and have a look.

@Helpimfalling Lol at guitars. Why are other people’s kid’s obsessions funny when your own is enough to make you want to pull your eyes , ears and face off 😂😂. It makes me wonder which ones I’ve got to look forward to in the future! ❤️

cats cats cats look at him look at him mum look at the cat the cat the cat look look look the cat muuuum muuuum look at the cat!

For 11 years now

This did make me laugh, OP. I have 5 DDs and was a primary teacher and I’ve never been asked if I like the letters. He sounds lovely but I can imagine it is exhausting. Let him watch some alphablocks for a bit and have a coffee!

I feel for you, I really do. it is so draining.

perhaps when he says do letters make you sad/bored, you can respond ‘well I would love to talk about numbers today instead’ or whatever else you can think of at the time.
or even firmer if you feel he can understand, ‘I’ve told you which letters I like, let’s have a new topic now.’

Hope it is just a phase and he moves on to something new soon x

First time ds went to the beach, he sat down and drew the letter A over and over again. Reckon he must have done 150 before declaring he had done the beach now. 😬

I hate to tell you but that never stops. I'm in my 50s and I'm like that 😂

Me to DH - awwww look at the cat, look what he's doing, Awww the cat is sleeping, look at him, LOOK AT HIM!!! LOOK AT HIM!!!

😄

It would be hilarious to get you both together 😂

We'd be trying to out lookatthecat each other 😂

I have to agree with @Fannyfiggs - cats isn't a phase it's a lifelong addiction.

My 7 yo son has adhd and hence special interests. At the moment we're on planes. When he was 3 it was birds, 4 he went on to cars, I've lost track of 5 and 6; I must have lost my marbles at that point.

DS is a grown man now,it was car number plates when he was four.It used to take us forty five minutes to walk the length of our street.

My youngest used to do this with his times tables, l think people must have thought l was a pushy parent, he would recite them everywhere from a very young age, like an obsession. He did very well at primary but crashed in secondary and was then home educated.

I don't know if he is too young for this, but for our 8yo, we try to give him undivided attention to listen to his information about his special interest and put my best listening face on whilst dying inside for a certain amount of time, then he's not allowed to talk about it for a bit. You could use a visual timer like an app or sand timer for this age as he won't know what 2 minutes feels like.

My ds knows he is supposed to ask if it's a good time to talk about X right now, so I would work towards that too. I am honest and say something like, " I'm thinking about a lot of things right now so I can't listen to this, we'll find a time when I'm finished doing this".

Fingers crossed this gives you hope!

Sorry that did make me laugh… I’m 38, ASD, and just had to promise to my mum that this is the last cat picture/video she has to look at today 🤣 (to be fair I am on holiday and missing my own physical cats a lot)

This is 100% my child… 😂😂😂

And DS was obsessed with number blocks at 2 and would recite them also…I think he’s forgotten them by now tbh

And look at the cats has officially made my evening!!

This is great advice.

I do something similar with silent time and a sand timer x

I’m an assistant headteacher in a primary school so have worked with many similar children over the years but all strategies and things I would do with other people’s children seem to go out the window at home and I opt to lock myself in the bathroom 😂

Teach him Chinese !

Oh god sorry you’re having this they are lovely but you need patience of a saint! my DS now grown up was dx Asperger’s. He had a range of specialist subjects including Punch and Judy (with sound effects) on repeat for over a year. Sorry to say still goes on a bit as an adult but it’s more like ‘I’ve found out all about a subject and am going to repeat it to you whether you like it or not’

Maybe just embrace the love. He is so pleased about being in your company that he wants to tell you all about the thing that makes him happiest to make you happy too. That dedication will get him to a great career in his chosen field one day.

Feel free to still rant to the internet of course!

Honestly, I embrace all the love. He’s happy and hilarious and brilliant.

But I’d be a fool to be flattered by him wanting to tell me about the alphabet - he’d shove his letters in front of the neighbour’s dog if he thought he’d get a response 😂

Then the answer is clearly get a dog 😁. Sorry!