To feel unsure about pregnancy after trying for 5 years?

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We already have 2 dc 6 and 8 and we've been trying for another for the last 5 years.
I'm 40 now and I'm 10 weeks but instead of feeling happy, I'm panicking if it's the right thing.

The age gap between the other 2 is one factor
and they'll have to share a room which we thought was fine but they're arguing like cat and dog lately.
I'm now worrying about being pregnant all through the hot summer and then worrying about my body after.
I thought I wanted this so bad and we've been trying so long.
Dh is over the moon and I just feel down about it one minute and then I accept it just to be unsure again.
I've had terrible sickness night and day and a headache for days and I'm not sure I can take much more.
Maybe it's just hormones and sickness talking,
I just expected to be so happy when it finally happened and I don't feel that at all.

Awww OP sending you a hug! This must be such a sad / heartbreaking feeling. To be trying for so long and then it’s happening and now worried & not as happy as expected. it could just be hormones & sickness & feeling rough.
it could also be that the idea was much more exciting than the actual thing, as you have built it up for so long whilst trying that in reality it wasn’t as you thought it would be in your head? Also with your older DC arguing a lot it can make you second guess everything.
you aren’t alone!!
definitely talk to your husband, even if he’s the happiest man in the world right now, it’s best to talk it through. He can support you so much more & be a listening ear!
he loves you no matter what, and you never know he may also have similar thoughts deep down but putting on a happy face for you (as I imagine you are doing for him).
you’ll be a fab mum of 3!! Just as you are of 2 😊 x

Thank you, I think it is probably just the nausea, sickness, and headaches.
I didn't experience any of that with the other 2.
I am so tired I just don't feel I have the energy for it.

I expect in the back of your mind a part of you thought it wouldn't happen, so it's a lot to process now it's happening. Don't worry about age gaps, there's no ideal age gaps. And god I hope this summer isn't hot, I'm also pregnant and due in October. They won't have to share for a while yet surely? Time to get used to it, maybe you can offer to let them choose new paint for their shared room, and divide the room so they have their own space (curtains or something)?

Congratulations on your pregnancy OP .

I was last pregnant circa 4 years ago and the thought of ever doing it again , despite it being a lovely , easy , healthy pregnancy just doesn't appeal now I'm a bit older .

Could it be that this has just hit you hard as your body is at the older end of fertility?

Plus the fact you have been trying for 5 years and your kids are getting older . Could be that you had emotionally made peace with a family of 4 and was quite happy that way .

That is not to say that a new baby won't add joy and happiness to your family.

Could you have a week off to just enjoy the pregnancy. Maybe book a massage and a weekend away ?

Don't worry about the older two sharing , they will love it . I loved sharing with my sister and have fond memories of us chatting away into the night about everything that we had done that day, friends , boys etc

I was ttc actively for 15yrs. Nothing worked for me and eventually we had to accept being childless.

2 years later I found myself pregnant completely out of the blue. It was a massive shock. I remember quite clearly being on holiday in Spain in the restaurant of a very posh hotel, sobbing my eyes out, drinking red wine 😬 and being distraught at the fact that I wasn't ready, or I was too old, or I'd be a crap parent, I'd got used to being childless, it was the wrong thing to do.....you name it and I was spouting it! DH had no idea what to do or say but my feelings were strong.

25 years later (and 2 children) I think that my 'meltdown' was simply a result of not only the pressure you feel when trying for years but the feeling of not being able to live up to my previously high expectations of being a parent.

I don't think it's uncommon when ttc has taken a while and suddenly becomes a reality. Hope all goes well for you.

Meant to say I was 40 also.