My mother is in her 60's and is selfish, arrogant, narcissistic, manipulative and cold. And that's just a Monday. If everything isn't about her she flips out and wants to be centre of attention.
My 4 younger siblings validate her insanity and my poor timid father has to go along with all the drama. She falls out with everybody and they all have a problem - and it's not her ever.
As the eldest, Ive battled her over the years and sometimes gave in (to much later rage upon reflection) but as i approach my late 40's myself with grown up kids Ive begun to deal with her less and less and observed how deeper shes losing her humanity and yet claims to be a bit more religious than the rest of the family.
Complete paradox!
The latest drama is her nephew is marrying his only son so its a big shindig with our massive entire clan attending this showpiece and a chance for relatives to catchup after many years on a happy occasion as theres been many people passing away sadly.
By providence, shes gone and booked in advance a very expensive holiday abroad and so will miss the wedding and has 'refused' us to attend as she wont be there to watch us. Shes tried every trick in the book, "they haven't invited us properly", "they don't want us there" threw a tantrum, acted like it's life and death if she doesn't get her way, rang my partner up during the middle of a working day, rang my brother whilst on a work trip abroad all whilst twisting facts to support her non attendance narrative. I've politely told her that unless you give me a reasonable objection on us not attending we'll be going. She's now threatened to have a falling out over this - I said her Grandkids (all young adults) I can't shield them anymore from your toxic behaviour and they'll see for themselves. Frankly, our relationship is at the most strained level it has ever been and she'd probably do me a favour by not speaking to me for a bit. At least twice a month it's someone's birthday or anniversary and we get together for half a day to celebrate including 2 days over Christmas back to back. My father knows these get togethers will be jeopardised if she causes a stink so they have more to lose. I also told my partner a few months ago that due to her unraveling it's only a matter of time now before she brings these get togethers to an end. AIBU for attending the wedding because it will 'upset' my mother ?