Denied anti depressants

[missrosex]

For months my boyfriend has been trying to seek help for his mental health, he is desperate and not coping, not eating, not sleeping, anxious, depressed. All for the gps to fob him off deny him any help other than they think it will be a good idea to put him on the waiting list for ADHD/ASD assessment, and recommending meditation. MEDITATION😤 if you have someone in your life struggling mentally you'll understand how painful it is to watch them go through that, how there whole personality changes, how they can no longer have conversations with people anymore because it's gotten that rough! One nurse was looking into antidepressants and said it would have to be brought up in there weekly meeting to decide, and he had just received a text saying the prescription was denied.. what an earth does one do now, self help is not helping he cannot pull himself out of the state he is in.

I would definitely ask for a second opinion- antidepressants and ADHD aren't automatically a no-go. I had my ADHD diagnosis for three years before starting SSRIs and while it doesn't treat my ADHD, I've still found the medication invaluable in treating the resulting depression and anxiety (in conjunction with talking therapy/DBT). I have several friends in a similar position. I appreciate that GPs are very justifiably more careful with antidepressants than they used to be, but often people need the initial boost of medication to be emotionally ready to work with the therapies offered.

I'm not an expert and I'd recommend doing your own reading but it's worth noting, if they recommend CBT, that many ND people seem to find it incredibly unhelpful, patronising, and disheartening. My own experiences with CBT made me distrust therapy as a whole for several years. If your partner can access any of them, modified CBT, DBT or other better-suited therapies seem to be popular and anecdotally more helpful. I hope things work out and your boyfriend can access the help he needs, the right combination of treatments makes such a difference and it sounds like you're a great supporter to have in his corner!

Have you gone into an appointment with him at the GPs? He may be struggling to communicate to the dr. quite how much his symptoms are impacting on him….just because someone is neuro diverse doesn’t mean that they are not impacted by depression /anxiety ( in fact they are more likely to have mental health symptoms) and treated appropriately, this includes ssri’s.

This might sound backwards but it might be better that they have made this decision. If your partner has ADHD/Autism, it's likely that the impact of those being undiagnosed and a lack of support is the cause of the depression and not an imbalance in his neurochemistry. Antidepressants can also have either little impact or negative impact on people with ADHD and often they end up feeling worse.

I've been where he is and honestly the best thing he can do is start to understand his brain and what works for him. Time away from work if he can, recovery from burnout and following recommendations for people with ADHD/Autism even if he doesn't have a diagnosis will hopefully help.

Personally medication didn’t help me. I found CBT through the NHS was much better. Also exercise and sleep both have better results than medication in the research.
Also gut microbiome directly affects your mental health. Not sure how his diet is. Might be something to look at.

But also my husband had a break down and I’m sure that his medication saved his life, which he is now weaned off of.

Does the GP have an e-consult option? Might be worth going this route instead of the traditional way.

There is evidence to suggest that anti depressants are as effective as placebo. Given the undesirable side effects, it makes sense that they are not a first line of treatment.

If he's truly anxious and can't sleep then I would think the doc would prescribe sleeping tablets at least.

When you feel bad during the day, you really need to sleep at night.

Sleeping tablets are a short term fix. You get dependent on them very quickly so can be ok for short term/crisis but you shouldn’t be on them for months and months and it doesn’t sound like his depression is situational and therefore potentially short term.

His condition has clearly been discussed carefully and at length and the decision not to prescribe antidepressants has been made for a good reason. If it's considered more likely that he's neurodiverse than depressed, then antidepressants are not an appropriate treatment for him.

Depression is a specific medical condition. Not everyone who is struggling to cope is depressed. Even if he is depressed, then it's very possible that the specific nature of his symptoms/mental state means that antidepressants aren't the right thing for him at the moment. They take a long time to work, and for certain people whose symptoms are manifesting themselves in certain ways, they can be very risky and make someone a lot worse at first. It's perfectly possible that the reason they won't give him antidepressants is that they think they will actually put him at risk at this stage.

When l had panic and anxiety disorder going to the Drs was a last resort even though it massively impacted by life.
Instead l read up night and day on it for months on end to understand it better. I work with people who are on AD's, for anxiety and depression all of them say the same, that ADs don't work, they don't feel any better. I asked if they ever read a book or watched YouTube videos , TedTalks of people who had also suffered it, they all replied No. I offered advice on mindfulness and meditation, none of them interested, said it wouldn't work.
Meditation is in my experience the best took to use, we are what we think, learning to quieten the mind and be mindful of negative thinking patterns is key. It's a permanent solution rather than a temporary one. It since helped me deal with life changing events such as the death of my husband and then my Father, alongside dealing with my teenage son and his own MH issues. Many people are very ignorant of the effectiveness of meditation.

It is not a doctor's job to give a patient the medication they might ask for.
It is a doctor's job to take a thorough history and then to prescribe the appropriate medication, therapy etc.... or NOT, depending on what is appropriate in any individual case.
It always shocks me how many people think they know better than trained and experienced medical professionals.

Yes agree short term. Might help though. If you have anxiety all day and night, when do you get a rest from it?

Er lots of ND people have anti depressants my dd being one of them. Her unmedicated ADHD definitely impacts her mood and she has attempted suicide several times.

I feel for you op he could be waiting years for ADHD meds and ADHD without mess is hugely debilitating and can make sufferers feel low for so many reasons.

Meditation without proper support will do sfa.I’d go back.

And I’m shocked at how clueless NHS staff often are as regards ND. It’s often quite shocking.

haha ....having worked in the NHS in both mental health and physical health I can assure you no health professional is infallible and not listening to patients or having the breadth & depth of knowledge to deal with people appropriately is sometimes a definite issue!

Can I ask if he smokes cannabis? I know a few people who’s gps were reluctant to prescribe antidepressants because they consume cannabis which apparently can cause side effects of the medication.

Sorry to read this, OP. It sounds awful.

Like a few PP have said, get a second opinion. The waiting list for ADHD/ASD assessment runs into the years, and even if your boyfriend is diagnosed with either, he wont magically get better, and his depression and anxiety wont go away. For adults, there is little to no support after diagnosis anyway. He might be lucky and get meds for the ADHD if appropriate. For ASD, he will be left on his own. There may be local MH/ND charities that run groups, but not everyone likes them.