Is it immature to distance if you want more?

[Cannotbebotheredtoday]

Let's say you're good friends with someone, you have a crush/feelings, they don't/don't want anything more for whatever reason.
Is it petty/immature to have space from them for some time just to move on/forget the crush,and should you just carry on as normal?

Why would that be immature? If they don't fancy you, move on, that's the mature thing to do.

Indeed you are right, it's more if you were friends with them/close with them.

That sounds like quite a mature thing to do to me!

Recognising that you don't have feelings that are being reciprocated and giving yourself time to be away from that - you shouldn't have to just carry on as normal if you don't want to.

I just wonder if the friend without feelings would wonder why you suddenly went distant on them?

That's not the problem of the friend with feelings who needs time / distance, tbh people need time or space for all sorts of reasons.

They probably would wonder, but that doesn't mean there's something wrong with doing it

Is it better to tell them or just make excuses about being busy etc?

FFS don't tell them

Just carry on as normal, making polite excuses until you are a bit more ready. Stick to seeing them only in group get-togethers or for a specific activity (no just meeting up for a catch up for the time being).

It I was the friend without feelings I probably wouldn't even notice. I think you're making this out to be bigger in your head than it is. Make new friends, that's where your mental energy should go. Find people that reciprocate your feelings, don't waste time on relationships that are going nowhere.

This.

Make decisions for your longterm peace of mind.

I would’ve thought the self-awareness to realise that you need space to sort out your own feelings would be more mature

They probably know how you're feeling. I'd say keep texts totally platonic, meet in a group and if you need space be honestvand give a rough time frame. A real friend will understand. (I've been there)

Sorry to ressurrect this thread but I wanted to come at it from the other angle.
I have a male single friend (I'm the married one) who has been distancing himself from me after years of talking every day, often for hours. I thought we were realy good friends and really liked his company. I don't make friends easily and this guy even actually said to me very insistently "you can trust me" like that bloody scene in Aladdin. We opened up to each other, told each other everything. (My DH knew about him so it was innocent, at least on my part). I did start to suspect friend had feelings for me as he would shower me in complements. I started to drop my DH's name into conversation more but never thought our friendship would go from 'every day' conversations to 'once a year' text messages. I was more or less dropped like a hot potato and it really hurts. Around the same time, friend became ill, but he's recovered yet still nada. So if you have to distance yourself from someone, I wouldn't do it as brutally, I'd try to find a better balance instead. I miss my friend :(

@thelonelyones

Sorry, but if a woman came on here saying her DH had daily, hours long calls with another woman, everyone would be screaming emotional affair.

That's not a normal scenario in a healthy marriage And hopefully not the situation the OP is in.

I don't do that even if she is married, i will try to pretend to recognize and respect the boundaries of her commitment. Its a plus sign if she is friendly or open. married women is easy to be approached , if you knew the game.