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AIBU?

To end my friendship?

10 replies

Bubbhye · 28/02/2024 09:24

Friend has BPD/EUPD.

I was her only friend for years. She's like a real life Eeyore. Just manages to make everything depressing.

I supported her through so much but she just switches off.

She's now got a GF so I don't really hear from her unless I'm the one to say Hi. Which makes me annoyed as I've included he in my families life for years (with some pretty awful behaviour) so she's not alone and now she has someone in he life she just doesn't bother with me.

When we do talk all she talks about is how ill and sad and sore she is. (she's a hypochondriac)

I just don't want to listen to it anymore.

I can't just let it fade away as she would just keep contacting me and I know if I ghosted her she would probably come to my house.

So what do I do/how do I word it?

I know you will probably think I'm being mean but it's been absolutely draining being in this friendship and now she has a partner (of over a year) I feel like I can step back and let her go knowing she's not alone.

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Bubbhye · 28/02/2024 09:26

Also I tried to end the friendship before, when I was her only source of support and she attempted suicide. So I've felt really trapped. But now she's got someone else and seems happy (well a level of happy for her at least) and I feel like now is the time to do it.

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Bubbhye · 28/02/2024 10:23

.

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WildFlowerBees · 28/02/2024 10:30

You don't need to justify it, if it's not a two way friendship and she drains you, step away. Stop contacting her and let it fizzle.

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MoonWoman69 · 28/02/2024 10:33

Yeah let it fade out, just say that you're sorry, your life has become busy if she messages you. You don't owe her anything really and it sounds like the friendship has had a negative effect on you. These kind of people are energy vampires and are best to be avoided!

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Bubbhye · 28/02/2024 10:35

I have let it fade out. To th point where we've not seen each other in a while but she still tags me in things or sends memories etc.

I just want a clean break so I'm not wondering how I will blow her off next time or if she will come to my house etc.

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toomuchfaff · 28/02/2024 10:38

She's now got a GF so I don't really hear from her unless I'm the one to say Hi.

I can't just let it fade away as she would just keep contacting me and I know if I ghosted her she would probably come to my house.

This is contradictory? If the former - just don't be the one reaching out. If the latter - just tell her outright that your friendship has run its course and you want to step away. No need for personal attack - keep it to your want to step away.

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Testina · 28/02/2024 11:15

Well either she keeps contacting you, or she doesn’t bother unless you say hi.
If she’s just tagging you in stuff, ignore it.
Why would you want to make an outright statement to end the friendship when you know that’s previously resulted in a suicide attempt?
Ignore her. And be clear in your own mind what you’ll do when this relationship inevitably ends.

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Bubbhye · 28/02/2024 12:11

I mean I'm the one to phone her, ask her how she is. Text hello etc.

She sends me tiktok, memes, best mate gifts and stuff but nay real conversations are always started by me.

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SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 28/02/2024 12:16

If you don't start any real conversations with her, @Bubbhye, and just let the friendship stay at the TikTok/memes level, it may well taper off on its own.

As someone with depression, who can be a bit of an Eeyore, I would never expect a friendship to be all give on the other person's part, and all take on mine.

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Hillarious · 28/02/2024 13:25

It doesn't have to be so black and white. Just keep the friendship in abeyance.

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