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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be worried about holidays with my own children?

35 replies

Itsastrugglenow · 28/02/2024 07:08

I’ll be honest here and admit I’m finding parenting really hard, my children are 3 and a half and 8 months. There are lovely moments but they are moments and the days are a slog.

I am a teacher and I feel I get a bit of respite at work, the other massive advantage is I get two days a week during school holidays when they will be in nursery and then I get time to do some cleaning, meet friends, hair appointments etc.

Obviously when the eldest starts school this won’t happen and I feel a bit tired at the thought of the six week ‘holiday.’ Do others feel this way or does it get easier?

OP posts:
PriOn1 · 28/02/2024 07:13

My experience was that by the time they start school, they are much easier to handle and I started to enjoy doing things with them.

PuttingDownRoots · 28/02/2024 07:15

You could still send them to activity camps if they would enjoy them... it breaks up the summer a bit for them too.

I mean occasionally not everyday!

mynameiscalypso · 28/02/2024 07:16

I have a Reception-er. Six weeks of summer holidays with him would be...intense. We're planning to use grandparents a bit and then he'll go to holiday club with his friends from school for a while.

Vettrianofan · 28/02/2024 07:18

My youngest children are 8 and 6 (years old) and it's still hard work. Sorry.

I also have teenagers but they are easy to care for. Lots of talking and listening required. More listening than anything else. Piece of pi** compared to the youngest ones in the family.

TotoroElla · 28/02/2024 07:19

It is hard while they are still so young.

But as others mention you could still get some time to yourself if you use holiday club or DC might be able to go on some play dates.

BendingSpoons · 28/02/2024 07:19

Do you have a partner? If so, presumably they will take some time off in the summer too. You can either do stuff as a family or it gives you a chance to have some time alone.

They grow up a lot and you might like having those 2 days with your eldest whilst the younger one is in nursery.

Original poster
Itsastrugglenow · 28/02/2024 07:19

I veer between hoping it will be a lot easier by the time no 1 is school age and dread that it might not be!

OP posts:
baileybrosbuildingandloan · 28/02/2024 07:22

OP you sound very low? Have you thought of speaking with your GP? Using words like dread when referring to one's own tiny children suggests that you may need some medical support?

Original poster
Itsastrugglenow · 28/02/2024 07:22

@BendingSpoons i hope so. I’m conscious there’s two years where I’ll literally have no breaks as while I’m part time, I’ll be looking after the younger one with my days off then on duty all school holidays too. At least when both are in school I’ll have a bit of downtime in the week.

Sorry if I sound negative, they’re lovely really but I’m very tired and it’s probably clouding my judgement a lot bit. We don’t really have holiday clubs and not ones suitable for very young children and I’d feel so bad sending the eldest somewhere unsuitable just for me time if you like, obviously when you have to work that’s different.

OP posts:
BendingSpoons · 28/02/2024 07:23

Itsastrugglenow · 28/02/2024 07:19

I veer between hoping it will be a lot easier by the time no 1 is school age and dread that it might not be!

In my experience it is way easier! Your youngest is a baby and needing very physical care (carrying, changing etc). Your eldest is still little too. Of course there are still challenges but they can do more for themselves and you can find your rhythm.

Original poster
Itsastrugglenow · 28/02/2024 07:23

Thanks @baileybrosbuildingandloan I don’t think I need medical support. It isn’t that I dread looking after them it’s more the absolute relentlessness of no breaks at all. I’ve been on maternity leave with the younger one since June and it’s been lovely but it is hard and while it does sort of get easier I’m well aware new challenges crop up too.

OP posts:
Bkjahshue · 28/02/2024 07:25

By then it will be very different; I don’t think it’s bad to continue with a holiday camp one day a week though and I’m imagining your partner will be off some of the holidays with you even just a week.

WonderingWanda · 28/02/2024 07:27

I promise it gets so much easier as they get a bit older. You're in a very high maintenance phase right now. I had a similar age gap and am a teacher. I have loved the holidays over the years. I remember the summer before my eldest went to school the little one still went to nursery and we had some more grown up days out together, think theme parks, play dates, museums, bike rides. It was amazing. Then when the eldest was at school I had lovely one to one time with the youngest on my pt days.

Also once your youngest is walking, feeding themselves etc life gets a lot easier. It's just so tough now because they need you to do so much for them. Hang in there.

BendingSpoons · 28/02/2024 07:28

Itsastrugglenow · 28/02/2024 07:22

@BendingSpoons i hope so. I’m conscious there’s two years where I’ll literally have no breaks as while I’m part time, I’ll be looking after the younger one with my days off then on duty all school holidays too. At least when both are in school I’ll have a bit of downtime in the week.

Sorry if I sound negative, they’re lovely really but I’m very tired and it’s probably clouding my judgement a lot bit. We don’t really have holiday clubs and not ones suitable for very young children and I’d feel so bad sending the eldest somewhere unsuitable just for me time if you like, obviously when you have to work that’s different.

I think it will help that a lot of that time will only be one child, so less competing demands. I wasn't back at work until my youngest was 10m, so no wonder you are tired. It's not unreasonable to want a break to see friends or have your haircut though. If your partner can't help, then reciprocal playdates might be the way to go! Have another child for a morning and they take yours in return.

Edited - didn't mean to write of your partner can't cope!

spriots · 28/02/2024 07:28

I would hate to have absolutely no time either at work or looking after my children. I have no interest in term time only jobs.

I don't know if it's me (introvert) or the kids but it would feel totally relentless.

But take it as it comes - when you get there, you might find it different with older children and you can also book them into some clubs. Mine genuinely enjoy holiday clubs and would get bored without them

CheesecakeandCrackers · 28/02/2024 07:29

It's relentless at that age, I found it started getting easier when my oldest was about 7 and youngest about 5 and it was much much easier all of a sudden. I know it feels a long way off but you will get there. I coped by making sure we had plans for holidays so they were out a lot and I could then collapse on the sofa for a couple of hours later in the day

Comedycook · 28/02/2024 07:31

I have always found the six week holiday a slog...it's not that I minded spending time with my dc, its just for six weeks I was never without them! Couldn't pop to the shop alone, run any errands alone. Just constantly trying to find things for them to do and making them food and clearing up after making food...all day!

Jessforless · 28/02/2024 07:32

OP, everyone’s experiences will differ of course. For me I actually mourn for the long summer holidays when my kids were probably 3 & 5 upwards… amazing days out. Cuddles. Making a fort under the dining table (managing to all have a nap in that fort 😍)

Flyeeeeer · 28/02/2024 08:52

PriOn1 · 28/02/2024 07:13

My experience was that by the time they start school, they are much easier to handle and I started to enjoy doing things with them.

This, they are at a much nicer, more fun age where the range of things you can do is much greater. Plus you can send them to holiday camps.

claudiawinklemansfringetrimmer · 28/02/2024 09:47

Ive found it much much easier when they’re school age. The days do
not feel as endless when they can entertain themselves for an hour or two. I remember thinking “ah fuck” when my daughter was 3 and her nursery shut for 2 weeks at Christmas, but now she’s nearly 6 and I love having the holidays with her- we had a great half term even with a baby in tow and I was a little sad to send her back to school!

SlB09 · 28/02/2024 09:51

Oh my word soooooooo much easier!!!!! The first summer holidays with school age I loved as we could do things I actually enjoyed as well!!
Your in the absolute thick of it it does get better I promise. It's still tiring but when you can go out and do something then come home and have a 'movie afternoon' and they actually sit and watch it all the way through your onto a winner x

spriots · 28/02/2024 10:52

SlB09 · 28/02/2024 09:51

Oh my word soooooooo much easier!!!!! The first summer holidays with school age I loved as we could do things I actually enjoyed as well!!
Your in the absolute thick of it it does get better I promise. It's still tiring but when you can go out and do something then come home and have a 'movie afternoon' and they actually sit and watch it all the way through your onto a winner x

I sometimes feel like I am doing parenting wrong - I have found as my kids get older, I end up doing things that they want to do and those don't accord with mine.. E.g. one has a geology obsession and I just can't get excited about rocks

OrangeLemonLime24 · 28/02/2024 10:58

I’m a teacher and my youngest goes to school in September. I’m still going to stay 0.8 next year. Have told DH that I’ll have 39 days of annual leave during term time (my day off each week) then work full time in the holidays looking after DC! Means he can take his AL as and when it suits him/work and I get some time to myself after many years of having DC with me nearly all the time they aren’t at school/ nursery.

SlB09 · 04/03/2024 20:08

@spriots hahaha yeah I get that. I'm outdoorsy and luckily my little one likes being outside, I'm not saying 100% I love every second but he was an incredibly hard clingy baby and toddler and still is a cling monster now so the freedom of not having him hanging off me probably screws my view somewhat!!!!

redfacebigdisgrace · 04/03/2024 20:11

Hope you’re OK OP. You’re in the trenches atm!

I would say that’s what holiday clubs are for! Get the oldest booked in for a few things. Just carve out a bit of time for yourself. And feel no guilt!!!