Aibu - Can you check the garage

[blackbirdsinginginthenight]

I need a second opinion on this as DH is infuriating me.

Two hours ago I was coming up to bed and noticed our kitten wasn't on DS bed as usual. He was on the bed when I did DS bed time shortly before. He has a habit of going into the garage when the door has been opened from the utility room. I passed my husband in the stairs and said 'Please will you check kitten isn't in the garage?', DH replies 'is he not upstairs?, I said 'no'.

Kitten was castrated yday and has been feeling a bit sorry for himself.

DH has just come up to bed concerned than kitten has been locked in garage for two hours in the cold. He woke me up to tell me. I reminded him of our earlier convo, which he remembers, but says it's as much my fault as it is his, despite me asking him to check the garage for the kitten. Is he right AIBU? Or should he have checked when I asked, and if he had no intention of doing so should have told me so I could check?

Oh come on

This.

Complete 🤷🏽‍♂️ shit happens, move on situation.

But as you apparently do think this is an issue of great magnitude, why haven't you considered the initial issue. Who let the kitten in the garage to start with? Surely it's their "fault".

Balls or no balls, the kitten is wearing a fur coat right?
Trust me, he won't have gotten cold.

Or should he have checked when I asked, and if he had no intention of doing so should have told me so I could check?

Yes.
But perhaps it'd have been a good idea to follow up on it to make sure the kitten had been found.

No, I'd be cross. You were on your way upstairs, he was going downstairs. You asked him to check if the kitten was in the garage. If he wasn't going to do it he should have said so.

My perception of this may be screwed by my own dh’s behaviour.
We are in a position where unless I tell/ask him to do things, they don’t get done or he ‘forgets’ or ‘didn’t hear’ despite agreeing to do something…
if your dh is prone to this then I completely understand you and I think yes - at the time you mentioned the kitten and asked him to check, he should have either done it promptly, or been honest that he wasn’t going to.

you may well get posters responding as if this is a one off, no harm done etc etc - but only you know if this is a pattern of lots of things falling to you as it becomes ‘easier’ to do it yourself than second guess if your dh will actually do it.

Or in other words.

A living animal may be trapped in an unfamiliar space after surgery. My ego is worth more than making sure the cat is ok. Please tell me I’m not a monster.

Was the kitten in the garage?

Just go back to sleep